Tag: prayer

Finding Milo

By Ife J. Ibitayo

If insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, I was clinically diagnosable by March 1st of 2023. Out of options and out of time, I decided to give Upwork one final chance to help me find an illustrator before I went back to the drawing board. I created a new job listing, paid to have my post featured, and waited.

Within days, even more job applications began to flood in—dozens of them. I spent hours scrolling through portfolios and setting up Zoom interviews until an Upwork “Talent Specialist” connected me with one particular artist named Milo.

The Sample

From the first time I laid eyes on his portfolio, I knew there was something promising there. We jumped on a phone call together and quickly hit it off. As I discussed my vision for telling “meaning-filled” stories, he said he’d especially resonated with that line because as an LGBTQ+ creator, diversity of representation was very important to him.

And so we hammered out a timeline, and I anxiously waited for the sample that would determine our future together, or apart.

We started working together early in the week and set the first milestone for Friday. But Friday came and went without an update. As I stewed over the weekend, I began to have second thoughts. Would this initial communication snafu be indicative of the rest of our relationship?  

And secondly, I’d been hoping to work with someone who shared the same faith as I did on The Biballical Chronicles because of…well, the subject matter. But Milo possessed a wildly different way of looking at the world than I did.

When the following week rolled around, I was about ready to throw in the towel. But then I saw the preliminary colored sketch Milo had drawn, and I was blown away. I viscerally felt like I was seeing the visible manifestation of my idea even at that stage of development. To put it simply, he got it.

Milo Sample
Milo’s First Colored Sketch for Let My People Ball

The “Break”

Conflicted, I called Milo up and told him that I’d need a couple of weeks to think about it. A few days later, I flew home for Spring Break from my graduate school program. Though, to call it a “break” might be a bit of a stretch. I spent many afternoons deep in prayer, wrestling with this decision. I phoned friends and family members as I weighed the pros and cons. Months, even years, of my future were contingent on this partnership and so were thousands of dollars in my bank account.

As endless doubts wrapped around me like choking tendrils, the drawing Milo had sent me was like a north star—a lighthouse in the middle of a sea of uncertainty. Somehow we’d bridged the chasm between our vastly different worldviews, and I saw the potential to make something beautiful together.

The Call

As my Spring “Break” wound down, I gave Milo a call. Hopeful yet tentative, I asked him if he was still willing and available to work on my project. And so, on March 27th, 2023, I finally found my illustrator for The Biballical Chronicles.

The Presence of Prayer (Prayer Changes Things Pt. 3)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I believe there is a third often overlooked aspect of prayer. Beyond changing things outside of us (Pt. 1) and changing things inside of us (Pt. 2), prayer ushers into the presence of God. It can be easy to reduce God to a divine slot machine. If we toggle enough levers and press enough buttons, our will will be done on earth as we expect it will be in heaven. Or we can relegate Him to a glorified mentor or life coach. But God wants deeper relationship than that: He wants to be our Friend, our Father, and our Husband.

Our Friend

We as humans possess a deep, profound need for friendship. That is why God said to Adam, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). But just like our predecessor, as soon as our horizontal need for friendship is fulfilled, we often neglect our analogous vertical need for friendship (Genesis 3). A true friend is someone with whom you connect for the sake of connection. In other words, the relationship itself is the end you are seeking when you spend time with that other person.

Many evenings I find myself coming to God with a long list of topics I want to run through: the state of our nation, difficulties in my family, looming deadlines at work, and many more. But I often sense that He doesn’t need me to repeat those prayers to Him again–He already knows my concerns before I pray them anyway (Matthew 6:8). Rather, He just wants to sit with me. He wants me to focus on being with Him rather than getting from Him.

Our Father

Secondly, God wants us to relate to Him as our heavenly Father rather than our overbearing boss. I’ve been reading the book of Romans recently, and I’m struck by the distinction between wages and grace. Romans 4:4-5 says, “When people work, their wages are not a gift, but something they have earned. But people are counted as righteous, not because of their work, but because of their faith in God who forgives sinners.” Similarly, an employee is hired based on their potential to add value to a company, and their continued employment is dependent on their performance. But a son is a son because they are a son. On my best days and on my worst, I am still God’s baby boy.

I often find myself tempted to perform when I come to God in prayer. I want to say the right words and quote the right verses and sing the right songs. But God does not care. When I enter His presence, He sets aside His gavel of judgment and spreads wide His royal robes, so I can hop in His lap. And He happily welcomes me when I’m pure and pious or when I’m dirty and broken.

Our Husband

Lastly, God wants to be our Husband. I think this is an oft neglected aspect of our relationship with God, deemed too intimate for many and too uncomfortable for men. But God’s marriage to us is a powerful analogy for His deep and abiding love for us. In Isaiah 54:5, God says, “‘Your Maker is your Husband,’” which intimately reminds us that God not only made us, He also chose us specifically as the objects of His affections. And He will continue to woo us with a forever love (Jeremiah 31:3).

When I enter God’s presence, He delights in me more than any doe-eyed newlywed. When I go on a date with God, all my bad jokes are funny and my quirky remarks are insightful. God desires to spend time with me far more than I with Him because He is such a good Husband!

Conclusion

When I pray, I enter into the presence of my best Friend, my loving Father, and my doting Husband. Through prayer I find my identity as a beloved son and bride. And so I love prayer, and through prayer I embrace how much God loves me.

“One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.”

(Psalm 27:4)

Prayer Changes Us (Prayer Changes Things Pt. 2)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For how “Prayer Changes Things Outside of Us”, click here.

Prayer moves mountains (Mark 11:23), heals nations (2 Chronicles 7:14), and ends droughts (James 5:17)–both physical and spiritual. God grants a dangerous amount of power to mankind through prayer. But if we reduce prayer to simply a means of changing our external circumstances, we may miss an even more amazing work of prayer: It changes us.

The Work of Prayer

I’ve cried out to God for countless prayer requests, and I’ve viscerally experienced God’s silence and God’s no. I’ve prayed for family members and seen them walk away from the faith. I’ve prayed for friends who’ve died weeks later. At times I’ve seen myself fall into the trap of tying my hope to an outcome rather than a Person. And when things don’t go my way, I’ve been tempted to say, “Prayer doesn’t work.” But prayer always works. Its work might just be in the precious, yet invisible space of our souls.

In the Garden of Gethsemane on the night Jesus was betrayed, He told Peter, “‘Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak’” (Matthew 26:41). Therefore, prayer is essential to aligning our flesh with God’s Spirit. And we cannot resist temptation without it.

E.M.  Bounds—an author, attorney, and clergyman fiercely devoted to prayer—once said, “Prayer makes a godly man, and puts within him the mind of Christ, the mind of humility, of self-surrender, of service, of pity, and of prayer. If we really pray, we will become more like God, or else we will quit praying.” I often find it’s only in that unhurried time away from my digital devices that the Holy Spirit reveals myself to me: my fears, my hopes, and my hidden sins. Only in the still place of God’s presence do I become more like Jesus and less like the man I used to be.

Conclusion

No matter how long and how hard we pray, we’re still promised trouble in this world (John 16:33). Trials and tribulation are our portion in this life if we take up our cross and follow Christ daily. But through prayer, we can endure the hardships of this Christian life well. And we will live to see all the good God has in store for us on the other side (Romans 5:3-5).

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

(Hebrews 4:16)

Prayer Changes Things Outside of Us (Prayer Changes Things Pt. 1)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

During my junior year of college, I went with my church on a retreat. There isn’t much that I recall about that trip, but I do remember committing to spending one hour each day in prayer.

It felt like a foolish choice at the time. Between my academic obligations and my church responsibilities, I was barely treading water. I struggled to find enough time each day to sleep, let alone surrender a whole hour to prayer. Yet somehow God provided the time during that harrowing season of life. Since then, I’ve prayed for many things both great and small, and I’ve seen God move in both cases.

Prayer Changes Lives

A few months after I started praying more, a good friend of mine was attempting to transfer into the geology department at the University of Texas at Austin. He’d already been rejected twice before. And if he didn’t get accepted this time, he was going to transfer universities. So I told him, “Why don’t we pray about it?” And by the end of that week, my friend excitedly told me that he’d been accepted into the geology apartment with a scholarship!

And about a year ago, another friend of mine was on the verge of graduation. But one of the most important people in his life was not planning on being there to see it—his father. Their core values had diverged drastically when Donald Trump was elected president, and their tenuous relationship had become so strained that my friend struggled to even visit his parents. So for a whole year, I prayed for healing in their relationship. And on the eve of my friend’s PH D. defense, his father flew into town and even stayed to help him work on his project for a couple days afterward!

Conclusion

These stories may not be the most exciting. I haven’t yet seen mountains fling themselves into the ocean. But there’s good reason Jesus emphasized asking God for things in prayer so much. He said, “Ask, and you will receive” (Matthew 7:7). “Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours” (Mark 11:24). And “will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones who cry out to Him day and night” (Luke 18:7)?

Jesus came to earth to connect mankind to the Father. And we do so by committing our cares to Him. Maturity in Christ is not asking God for less but entrusting Him with more. And I’m trying to learn how to do that one hour at a time.

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”

(1 Peter 5:7)

Stilling the Tsunami of Anxiety

By Ife J. Ibitayo

To see the original post on beamanjourney.com, click here.

It begins with the thoughts. What if they don’t like me? What if I’m not good enough? What if it’s cancer? And pretty soon I find myself flailing in a tsunami of doubt. When I was asked by my friend Pastor Stephen Law to write an article about overcoming anxiety, I laughed. It was like asking someone who’s barely learned how to tread water to teach others how to swim. But God is gracious, and He has taught me a few things about stilling this raging storm.

The Life Preserver of Prayer

Philippians 4:6 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.” Most worriers worry passively. It’s so natural that it’s like breathing and blinking to them. That is why God asks us to actively give our worries to Him through prayer.

I hated my tendency to see the thousand ways every situation could go wrong until I read a book called Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson. He wrote, “If you worry about everything, you’ll have a much higher likelihood of praying without ceasing if you simply learn to turn your worries into prayers. The Holy Spirit can redeem your anxious thoughts by using them as prayer triggers. Think of worry as a prayer alarm. Every time it goes off, you put it to prayer.” Once I discovered this gift, I realized that anxious worriers make some of the best prayer warriors. Through prayer God allows us to transform our mental suffering into spiritual blessing!

The Water Wings of the Word

Secondly, I learned that knowledge of the word of God is the best weapon to fend off the flaming darts of doubt. The Bible is more effective than more facts and data because anxiety often doesn’t stem from lack of information. I know that less than 1% of Americans suffer from glaucoma, yet I feared I might be going blind.  When layoffs swept through my company, I feared I might be let go even though they were still actively hiring in my group division. My problem was not with my head but with my heart.

When my head said I might lose my job, my heart should have said, “Look at the birds in the sky: They do not sow, or reap, or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds then. Aren’t you more valuable than they are?” (Matthew 6:26). When the threat of sickness pounded at my door, from glaucoma to an irregular heartbeat to high blood pressure—all of which I visited doctors about in the past year—I should have told myself, “By His wounds I am healed” (Isaiah 53:5). For every fearful question, God has a hopeful answer if we internalize His Word.

The Support of Other Swimmers

Lastly, anxiety thrives in a vacuum. When we speak fearful things to ourselves and answer them by ourselves, our worries will grow with time. We must expose our fears to others if we want to experience healing.

Galatians 6:2 says, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” This is not just a command to help other people carry their loads but also to allow others to shoulder ours. The level of need differs for all of us. We may need the listening ear of a trusted friend on occasion, or we may need regular, professional help depending on the severity of our anxiety. We may also slide along this spectrum depending on the season we’re going through. The key is recognizing this need and humbly admitting to someone else that we’re not alright.

Conclusion

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “We have nothing to fear except fear itself.” I used to roll my eyes at this worn-out phrase, but FDR makes a good point. He went on to define fear as “nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”

Fear really is the great enemy. It stole my joy for years and crippled my decision making. Anxiety kept me from the abundant life that God had for me, and it could be doing the same to you. Don’t let anxiety steal another minute of your happiness. Turn to God, speak to others, and start swimming down the stream of healing.

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” (Matthew 6:31-33).

Swimming Tips

  1. Start your day with a worry list. Write your worries on a sheet of paper, then title the list “God help me with…” and pray about them.
  2. Find a new verse each month that speaks to your specific anxieties and memorize it. Deuteronomy 31:6, 1 Peter 5:7, and Psalm 56:11 are all great verses to start with.
  3. Agree with someone you trust to talk regularly (daily, weekly, or monthly) about your fears and worries.

A Pregnancy Delayed (Overtures from the Advent-ures of Jesus Christ Part 1)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Most people the world over know of the existence of Jesus Christ. Far fewer know about John the Baptist—His forerunner and prophet. An amazing story describes this great man’s birth.

Delayed Prayers Do Not Equate with Unrighteous Character

To begin his gospel, the Apostle Luke says, “In the time of Herod king of Judea there was a priest named Zechariah, who belonged to the priestly division of Abijah; his wife Elizabeth was also a descendant of Aaron. Both of them were righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commands and decrees blamelessly. But they were childless because Elizabeth was not able to conceive, and they were both very old” (Luke 1:5-7 NIV).

The first lesson that can be learned from the lives of Zechariah and Elizabeth is that the prayers of righteous people can be frustrated. Even Jesus Himself, the most righteous being who’s ever existed, received a “No” from God. When He uttered the words “may this cup be taken from me” (Matthew 26:39 NIV), He spoke of His righteous desire to avoid separation from His heavenly Father. Yet the Father still executed the judgment we deserved upon His Son.

A prayer delayed—or denied—does not always point to hidden sin.

Delayed Prayers Do Not Equate with Unanswered Prayers

But even if a prayer is delayed far longer than we expect it to be, that does not mean the prayer will remain unanswered. Luke 1:13 says, “But the angel said to him: ‘Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John’” (Luke 1:13 NIV).

As young children wait for Christmas to come, the passage of time feels excruciatingly long to them. But as the days pass, their sense of anticipation doesn’t wane. It waxes stronger because they know that Christmas Day will come.

We should practice the same childlike behavior as we wait on God, trusting that each day doesn’t take us further from fulfillment but closer, no matter how long we wait.

Delayed Prayers Do Not Equate with Ill-Timed Answers

When the angel told Zechariah that his wife would bear a son, he asked, “‘How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years.’ The angel said to him, ‘I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news. And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their appointed time’” (Luke 1:18-20 NIV).

Zechariah had given up on his prayer long ago. His disbelief ran so deep that the prophecy of a holy angelic being was not enough to dispel his doubt. The season for a having a son, it seemed, had passed.

But God didn’t share his conclusion. John the Baptist’s miraculous birth foreshadowed Jesus’ impossible conception. And the ministry of John the Baptist paved the way for Jesus’ saving work (Luke 1:76). John the Baptist didn’t arrive a day late; he came right on time.

Conclusion

God may not give us the victory we believe we deserve at the time we want. But “the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are attentive to their prayer” (1 Peter 3:12 NIV). He will come through, now or later.

“For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.”

(Habakkuk 2:3 NIV)

5th Time’s the Charm (My Embarrassing Life Pt. 1)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Passing the driving test is a right of passage for many people across the world. In the United States, over half of test takers pass on their first try. I was not one of those people.

On my first attempt, I backed my dad’s Toyota Highlander into a parallel parking pole. My next time up, my early fumbles so frustrated my tester that after a couple right turns, she asked me to pull over. On my third try, I finally managed to exit the DMV, but I frightened my tester so much that she asked me to turn around. My fourth try, I made it through the entire course and received a 69 on my test, one point shy of the cutoff limit.

Be Vulnerable

After my first couple of tries, I was pretty confident that my failures were mere bumps on the road, but after my third attempt, I wasn’t so certain anymore.

The following Wednesday, I told a prayer partner about my dilemma and asked him to intercede with God on my behalf. He snickered as he prayed for me, and I did not pass my driving test the next time I took it, but this moment of vulnerability was an important turning point for me.

In our Photoshop-ed world of social media, we’ve been seduced by the illusion of the #perfectlife. We are so bombarded by posts and tweets of everyone else’s promotions, happy married lives, and angelic children that we can forget they are just as broken as we are. The apostle James said, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results” (James 5:16 NLT).

The first step forward for must of us will be a step down. We must be willing to climb off our pedestals of whitewashed impeccability to make real breakthroughs in this life.

Appreciate Progress

I never once celebrated after failing my driving test. Of course, that is perfectly natural. Most normal people don’t celebrate mediocrity; we lament it. But I never stopped to realize how promising the trend in my driving life was. On my first try, I failed in one minute. On my last try, I failed by one point. Even if I hadn’t arrived, I should have at least seen that I was getting closer to my destination.

Zechariah 4:10 (NLT) says, “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.” We should always strive for the gold in everything we do in life, but we should still thank God for the Honorable Mentions.

Don’t Give Up

I was distraught after my fourth driving test failure. I had given the test my best shot, and I was done putting myself through this ordeal: Clearing my schedule, waking up early, and subjecting myself to the scrutiny of a testy stranger. But if I had given up then, I would never had been able to drive myself to work, church, or my cousin’s baby dedication.

On my fifth try, a white-haired gentleman accompanied me. I nervously drove through the course, powered the car down, and waited for him to tally up my score. When he finished, he turned to me and said wearily, “You passed.” In fact, I received a 90!

Conclusion

I would never repeat that experience again, but that frustrating season served a critical function in my life. It cured me of a bit of my sense of entitlement. It taught me the importance of opening up to others. And I uniquely appreciate the privilege of driving down the interstate at 60 miles an hour.

“You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.”

(Hebrews 10:36 NIV)