Tag: pain

Hurt People Heal People

What do you think of when I say the word “pain?” I’m certain that I don’t need to jog your memory for a list of painful circumstances you might have experienced. Your current unemployment, your bout with cancer, or your messy divorce surely come to mind of their own accord. And now that I’ve triggered such unwelcome flashbacks, you must be asking why I would do such a thing. What point is there in reliving pain?

Pain Hurts

But the problem of pain is not the pain itself. From pregnancy to pull-ups, many of us will welcome pain into our lives because we already know the purpose behind it. As many expectant mothers will relate, “A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world” (John 16:21). Rather the problem of pain is the problem of meaninglessness.

Meaninglessness Kills

 A close friend of mine and his wife were diagnosed with cancer within a year of one another. Another friend of mine whose been dealing with insomnia and depression recently had a miscarriage. And I had my own fresh hell at the start of this year. When answers are lacking and our wounds haven’t even scabbed over yet, empty platitudes won’t suffice. “God works all things together for good”  (Romans 8:28) doesn’t seem to cut it anymore. What “good” could possibly come from such tremendous loss?

Reframing Heals

One of our greatest superpowers as human beings is our ability to choose how we interpret our past trials. Vulnerability researcher Dr. Brene Brown once said that the power of a story is that it grants us control over our narrative. We are no longer the victim of our experiences but its author. And we can leverage that narrative authority to write a better ending for ourselves and for others.

Conclusion

We don’t have the ability to choose all the hellish things we’ll go through in this life, but we can decide if we pass that hell on to others or leverage it to drag them back from the abyss.

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”

(2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

Goldfish from Heaven

By Ife J. Ibitayo

There is one snack I’ve never grown tired of. These orange, fish-shaped munchables come equipped with a quirky grin. I even remember the jingle: “The snack that smiles back: Goldfish.” But as I wrapped up my shopping at Wal-Mart this past week, I realized how creepy a concept that is.

We often go out of our way to make food look as little like the original animal as we can. We don’t want to see the strangled chicken or the gutted cow or the suffocated fish with its glassy eyes. When we see such things, it reminds us of the pain the creature experienced to become our sustenance. Yet cheddar goldfish gladly smiles at us as we mangle, pound, and chew away at it.

The Mangling, Pounding and Chewing of Jesus

Using similarly graphic language, Jesus said, “Whoever feeds on My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For My flesh is true food, and My blood is true drink” (John 6:54-55).

In an Old Testament passage on the suffering servant, the prophet Isaiah says, “He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5). In order to become our salvific supper, Jesus’ back was mangled by lashes, His wrists pounded by nails, and His back chewed up by a rough, splintering cross.

The Smile of Jesus

Yet the prophet Isaiah goes on to say, “the Lord was pleased to crush Him severely” (Isaiah 53:10). The Father actually delighted in crushing His Son on the cross. And even Jesus Himself, “for the joy set before Him endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2). What’s going on here?

God loves us so much that He was willing to become our divine goldfish, our sacred snack that smiles back. As He suffered for our sins, He smiled because He knew that His beating would mean our healing (Isaiah 53:5), His abandonment our adoption (Galatians 4:4-5), and His death our life (Romans 6:4).

Conclusion

I lied. There are actually two snacks I’ve never grown tired of throughout the years. The second, the goldfish from heaven, is not a meal to be partaken once but every day. As we enter into this coming month of November, let’s start—not end—with Thanksgiving. Let’s appreciate and worship our Savior who rejoiced as He suffered for sinners like you and me.

“Surely He took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered Him punished by God, stricken by Him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by his wounds we are healed.

“Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush Him and cause Him to suffer, and though the Lord makes His life an offering for sin, He will see His offspring and prolong His days,
and the will of the Lord will prosper in His hand.”

(Isaiah 53:4-5, 11)

Joy in the Midst of Pain (In the Midst of Pt. 2)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For Part 1, “Peace in the Midst of Trouble”, click here.

The book of Philippians is apostle Paul’s happiest letter by far. He mentions joy or rejoicing sixteen times and nearly a third of these references speak to his present joy (Philippians 1:4, Philippians 1:18, Philippians 2:17, Philippians 4:1, Philippians 4:10). You’d think that he’s on vacation or visiting one of his prospering churches. But Paul pens his sunniest epistle amidst some of his greatest suffering—imprisonment in a dark, dirty prison cell.

Joy in Christ

Paul’s first and greatest joy was Jesus Christ. He rejoiced in living because that meant that he got to continue working for Christ (Philippians 1:22). He rejoiced in dying because that meant that he’d get to be with Christ (Philippians 1:23). And he rejoiced in his suffering because it was furthering the gospel of Christ (Philippians 1:13).

Jesus is our north star. He’s that fixed point in space that orients us when the storms of life come. When those without God suffer, they have reason to despair. When they are dumped, diagnosed, or defeated, “the Universe” shrugs its shoulders and tell them they got the short end of the stick. But God tells us believers that all suffering will bring us closer to who He created us to be (Romans 8:28-29).

Joy in Others

Paul’s second joy was other people. Paul started off the book of Philippians by saying, “Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy, for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now” (Philippians 1:3-5). Paul was born to be a missionary, that was the pride and joy of his life. But instead of mourning his loss, he rejoiced that others shared his vision and carried on the torch.

He also rejoiced in his relationship with his friends. The Philippians were his joy and crown (Philippians 4:1). And he wrote this letter to encourage them to remain strong. When suffering closes in, we have a tendency to curl up. We want to detach from others and focus on ourselves. But we can find joy by following Paul’s example—remembering the loving care of those around us and finding ways to serve them.

Joy in Contentment

Paul found his ultimate joy in contentment. Some of the most powerful words in the entire New Testament are found in Philippians 4:12-13:  “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

Discontent people will always be unhappy. No matter how many blessings the LORD lavishes upon on them, there will always be just one more thing they need. But content people trust in God. So they can be happy no matter their present sufferings.

Conclusion

Paul was the apostle of pain. He was baptized into the faith with the prophecy: “I will show him how much he must suffer for My name” (Acts 9:16).  With bruises and beatings, sleepless nights and shipwrecks, Paul endured more than many of us ever will even if we lived ten lifetimes. Yet he was also happier than many of us ever will be too. If we focus on Christ, love on others, and mature in contentment, we too can begin to sing in the midst of our dungeons.

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.  We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.”

(2 Corinthians 4:8-10)

I Lost My Voice to Find My Worship

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Two years ago, I lost my singing voice. I remember the exact moment it happened. I was at a praise and worship service on a Wednesday night. My throat had already felt scratchy, but I had a job to do. I had to belt out the latest praise song louder than the on stage worship leaders. If I couldn’t hear me, clearly God couldn’t either. So I strained my voice a notch higher and something split in the back of my throat. For two years, I haven’t been able to sing for any extended amount of time without experiencing pain.

The Father is looking for worshipers who’ll worship Him in Spirit and in truth (John 4:23). Once I lost my voice, I became intent on finding out what God was really looking for.

In Truth

I’ve always loved praise and worship, ever since I was little. It doesn’t matter if it’s acoustic guitar and keyboard or clapping hands and talking drum; you’ll find me with my eyes closed, my mouth open, and my arms raised. But somewhere along the way, I found myself listening to my own voice a little too closely: Am I singing too softly or too loudly? Should I shift an octave higher or remain where I am? Is this note meant to be held or let go? I even started asking my family how they thought my singing was, as if I was the focus of praise and worship not God.

When we focus on what other people think of us, we can lose sight of our most important audience: God. I certainly did. And it wasn’t until I lost my voice that I realized I’d already lost the connection worship was supposed to be establishing in the first place.

In Spirit

Secondly, we’re supposed to worship God in Spirit. The word says “it is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all” (John 6:63). That truth applies to all of life, especially worship. When we physically worship God at our best–with clear voices, fresh chords, and perfect rhythm–that doesn’t impress Him.

It can be easy to forget that heaven is already filled with the greatest singers that’ll ever live: the angels themselves and perfected saints. Far higher quality worship continually rings out in heaven than can ever be achieved here on this earth. What serenades Him are worshipers who tap into His Spirit to give Him praise deeper than a thousand songs (Romans 8:26).

Conclusion

In losing my voice, I found a hidden blessing. My voice is the same rough, scratchy keening it’s always been. But my perspective on worship has been refreshed, and my hope is yours has been as well.

“Oh, sing to the LORD a new song! Sing to the LORD, all the earth.”

(Psalm 96:1 NKJV)

Love is Patient (Love Is… Part 1)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

As we slide into the month of February, I think it is an especially relevant time to consider love. What is love? What isn’t it? These are the questions I’ll be considering as we dive into 1 Corinthians 13.

When the Apostle Paul began to describe the characteristics of love, the first one he listed was “Love is patient” (1 Corinthians NIV). I believe this choice was very intentional and is an essential attribute of love.

Love or Lust

“An intense yearning for another.” Does this definition describe love or lust? Love is a powerful emotion. The Song of Solomon says that “love is as strong as death, its jealousy as unyielding as the grave” (Song of Solomon 8:6 NIV). But once again, this description could be applied just as accurately to lust. However, when lust is forced to wait, it will exact its vengeance on the object of its affection.

Consider Amnon, son of King David. He had a gorgeous, virgin half-sister named Tamar. His feelings ran so deep that he was depressed morning after morning (2 Samuel 13:4). The NKJV even says that he was losing weight over his lovesickness! After an eternity of waiting, Amnon tricked his half-sister into coming into his bedroom alone, and he raped her (2 Samuel 13:14).

When Amnon finally acquired the focus of his desire, he took out all his agonizing months of waiting upon her. Then he kicked her to the curb and went on with his life (2 Samuel 13:15-19). Amnon’s emotions were clearly lust because of the damage they wreaked upon the one he wanted.

Love, on the other hand, is longsuffering. 1 Corinthians 13 goes on to say that “love doesn’t insist on its own way”. Rather it “bears all things” and “endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:5, 7 ESV). True love takes that debt of pain that accrues while waiting and absorbs it.

Love or Wrath

In a letter to his dearly beloved son in the faith Timothy, Apostle Paul said, “This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: ‘Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners’—and I am the worst of them all. But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life” (1 Timothy 1:15-16 NLT).

Apostle Paul truly was one of the worst sinners who has ever walked this earth. He was a notorious terrorist, going door to door and dragging off believers to prison and their deaths (Acts 26:10)! He presided over their murders in broad daylight (Acts 7:57-8:1) and extended his zeal even beyond the borders of his own country (Acts 9:1-2)! But the Brother and Father of the men and women Paul destroyed waited patiently for him to see the light. They suffered long his raging persecution. And when they finally won his heart, they didn’t destroy him. Jesus welcomed this terrorist as His brother, and the Father invited this murderer into His household as His son (Romans 8:16-17).

God never exacted vengeance on Paul. Instead, He absorbed the wrath Paul deserved for his sins, and the wrath we deserve for our own, and poured it out on His beloved Son. That, that is love.

Conclusion

Love is patient. I am convinced that very few of us naturally possess this gift of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22), and none of us possess it in the measure we should. But we can start afresh today. Instead of lashing out, we can embrace. Instead of coercing more, we can demand less. And we can take the agonizing debt of pain that’s accruing and give it to God.

“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”

(Ephesians 4:2 NLT)