By Ife J. Ibitayo
While shopping at Wal-Mart last week, I knocked over a bottle of Dove body wash. I fumbled it like a loose football, and it slid under the shopping cart of a fellow shopper. The skinny Asian woman graciously handed it back to me. As I bent over to accept it, my glasses fell off my face. The woman smiled and asked, “Is this some kind of trick?” like a charade or a comedy act. I grinned back sheepishly and thought, Unfortunately, this is a way of life.
I’ve been notoriously clumsy ever since I was young. Slamming doors are the mortal enemies of my delicate fingers. I’d swear that invisible stub magnets are attached to my pinky toes. And I can only thank God that I didn’t grow up in any cities that iced over frequently. I slip well enough all on my own!
The Weight of My Imperfection
In spite of my clumsy ways, I’ve also ironically struggled with perfectionism my whole life. Growing up in a Nigerian household, I was implicitly and explicitly taught that “A” was the standard. Anything less was failure, and I applied this lesson ruthlessly to every area of my life. I strived to be an “A” student, an “A” brother, an “A” son, an “A” engineer, an “A” writer, and an “A” Christian because anything less was not acceptable. My college experience could be summed up by Matthew 5:48: “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
Perfection is not an easy weight to bear. I remember getting my first report card in grad school and being shaken at receiving two A-minuses. My GPA only went down from there. I’ve always striven for perfection, but over time, I’ve become devastated by the overwhelming chasm between where I am and where I think I should be.
The Strength of His Perfection
This reality is why I’m uniquely passionate about the Christian concept of grace. Grace is unmerited favor, receiving what you do not deserve. In the book of Ephesians, Apostle Paul said, “We were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved” (Ephesians 2:3-5). I am not good enough to be an “A” son. I don’t have what it takes to be an “A” employee all day every day. And I will never be an “A” Christian. But none of that matters.
God chose me because He loves me. I’m not subject to His wrath because of His mercy. I am heaven bound because of His grace. None of these realities are contingent upon my performance. They are rooted in the unchanging nature of my God (Hebrews 13:8).
Conclusion
The title of this article is a reference to Jonathan Edwards’ famous sermon “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God.” In that message, Edwards’ describes our plight in horrifying, vivid detail: “Your wickedness makes you as it were heavy as lead…and if God should let you go, you would immediately sink and swiftly descend and plunge into the bottomless gulf.” The shackles of my sinfulness weigh down my wrists. The mistakes of yesterday enfold my throat. The inky abyss awaits to swallow me whole if I trip just one more time. But something arrests me.
As Paul said in the book of Ephesians, “But God.” In spite of my imperfection, because of His perfection, my salvation is sure. Each teetering step I take is steadied by the hand of my invisible Father. His perfection is stronger than my clumsiness, and it’s greater than all my mistakes.
“My God, His way is perfect: The LORD’s Word is flawless; He shields all who take refuge in Him.”
(Psalm 18:30)