Tag: grace

The God of Second, Third, and Fourth Chances

By Ife J. Ibitayo

A good friend of mine moved away earlier this year. We’d gone through so much together. I remember weeping with her on the chapel floor when she felt distant from God. I prayed for her when she quit her first job and stepped out in faith. But when she threw a going away party the week before she left, I kept my distance.

I was trapped in my head, tormented by voices that lied that she wouldn’t want me there anyway.  As I lay on the wooden floor of my apartment, sicker than I’d ever been in my life, I didn’t know if I’d see any of my friends again. By the time my health returned a few months later, she was already gone.

However, later this year, I decided to return to basketball after a three-month hiatus. To my amazement, I ran into her at the gym. As we hugged each other, I couldn’t believe that she was real. I finally had my chance to give her a proper goodbye.

Blowing My Chance

I’ve been a perfectionist for a very long time. I’ve always wanted to say just the right words and do just the right things because I feared suffering irreparable consequences if I didn’t. In the words of the great sage Yoda, “Do or do not. There is no try.” There is no “trying”. There is only success or failure, and anything less than an A+ is utter failure.

As it turns out, doing everything right all the time is not a sustainable way to live, especially when the stakes are high—such as running a company and trying to graduate with an MBA as I was. When my health began to fail—physically, mentally, and spiritually, I assumed that my entire life would fall apart. I saw myself getting kicked out of my program, running out of money, and living out the rest of my days on the cold streets of Los Angeles. But somehow I graduated with honors and am currently clothed, housed, and in my right mind.

Speaking to my therapist, I described the experience as falling into a giant comforter. I thrashed about as I plummeted through the sky, but something caught me and guided my descent down. It was only later that I knew that “thing” was God and that that comforter was grace.

Conclusion

There is a well-known concept in Christian communities known as “divining the will of God.” We don’t want to end up in His “permissive will” rather than His “perfect will” or, God-forbid “outside His will”. We have to get it right every single time: We have to marry the right person and choose the right job and have the right creamer with our coffee or we just might miss the amazing plan God has for our lives. But God knows that we are screwups for life. The Scripture itself says, “We see in a glass dimly” (1 Corinthians 13:12). And as we bumble around, making errors left and right, God remains unfazed. He will lead us back to where He wants us to go and back to the people He wants us to see because He is the God of second, third, and fourth chances.

“But [God] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest of me.”

(2 Corinthians 12:9)

The Oil of Pride and the Water of Grace

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Last month, I alluded to a significant financial setback on my journey to launching a business. What if I told you since then God has graciously met my need but my pride nearly aborted the whole process?

Pride is Me-Based

America was built on the myth of self-made men and women. We’ve been conditioned to believe, “With unrelenting intensity and a can-do attitude, the best and brightest can move every mountain all on their own.” I’ve all too often fallen into this trap. But all too often bad timing, bad luck, and my bad habits remind me that I can’t always be the solution to my problems.

Grace is God-Based

In his best-selling book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell argues that the truly exceptional “appear at first blush to lie outside ordinary experience…[but their success] is grounded in a web of advantages and inheritances, some deserved, some not.” In other words, our success will always be contingent on forces beyond our control. Even the Bible affirms this truth: “The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle…And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time” (Ecclesiastes 9:11).

The atheist accept this as randomness, and the spiritual call it destiny. But the believer knows this phenomenon as grace, for even “every roll of the dice is determined by the LORD” (Proverbs 16:33). Grace points to a force beyond our own two hands that ultimately determines the outcomes in our lives. It lifts the weight of responsibility off our shoulders and places it squarely on the LORD’s. This means it also shifts the weight of glory from our crown to His.

Conclusion

Pride and grace are like oil and water; they don’t mix. For God Himself says He “opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6).

The oil of pride is complex. Crude oil is a mixture of hydrocarbons which has no easily written chemical formula. Similarly, pride requires all sorts of explanations to justify its existence.

But the water of grace is simple. Water has only two components: hydrogen and oxygen. Similarly, grace requires only two responses: gratitude and humility. And these two responses can be summed up in two words: Thank you.

“A man’s pride will bring him low, but a humble spirit will obtain honor.”

(Proverbs 29:23)

The Fear and Pride of Vladimir Putin (Shared History, Broken Promises Pt. 1)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

As bombs burst, rifles blast, and fires blaze in Ukraine—a nation with a larger population than California—I find myself with a long list of questions and too few answers. Top among them is: What is motivating Vladimir Putin to invade another sovereign nation?

Fear

One of Putin’s primary motivators is fear. “In a pre-dawn TV address on 24 February, he declared Russia could not feel ‘safe, develop, and exist’ because of what he claimed was a constant threat from modern Ukraine.” Considering that Russia’s army alone is larger than the entire Ukrainian armed forces, this is a patently ridiculous claim. But fear drives irrationality.

Whether it be Brexit overseas or Trumpism here at home, fear of others brings out the worst in all of us. But love brings out the best. That is why love and fear cannot coexist. As the Apostle John said, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18). True love casts out fear, not other people. It doesn’t invade their homeland but invites them into our own.

Pride

Secondly, Putin is motivated by pride. “The Russian dictator has grown to see himself as not another middling, kleptocratic dictator, but as a figure of historic import, dedicated to restoring Russian greatness.” Here in the United States, we’ve seen the tremendous amount of damage attempting to make a nation “great again” can wreak. All too often, those who lift themselves up do so by pushing others down. They reduce greatness to a zero-sum game where in order to win, everyone else must lose. But that was never God’s intent for greatness.

Jesus said, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:26-28). We were made for greatness, but it can only be found by putting others first. Our selfish desires must give way to selfless ones. Our backs must bend to scrub other people’s feet, just like Jesus did (John 13:4-5). Only then will we lay hold of true greatness rather than egotistical self-aggrandizement.

Conclusion

Fear and pride lay close at hand for all of us. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, a former prisoner of Russia’s Gulag once said, “The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either — but right through every human heart.” The only thing that separates you and me from a tyrannical dictator is not culture, education, or power. It’s grace.

“But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: ‘God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.’”

(James 4:6)

The Preceding Promise (The Genesis Archives Pt. 4)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For Part 1, “Let There Be Light”, click here. For Part 2, “Recycling and the Image of God”, click here. For Part 3, “Naked and Unashamed”, click here.

“‘And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; He will crush your head, and you will strike His heel’” (Genesis 3:15).

I hate making mistakes. You may want to roll your eyes sardonically and say, “Don’t we all?” But hear me out. There’s a difference between striving for perfection and needing it to feel at peace with oneself, others, and God Himself. I often struggle with the latter. A bad day on the job can haunt me for weeks, a bad conversation for months. I still vividly remember the mistakes of my youth, from careless comments to squandered gospel opportunities. I’ve piled them up over the decades, lugging them along in a spiritual trash bag as if they were my cross to carry. That is why this passage from the very beginning of the Bible resonates so deeply in my bones.

The Curse

The greater context of Genesis 3:15 is that Adam and Eve have just eaten the forbidden fruit, and God is meting out the first punishment listed in Holy Scripture. But God does not begin His punishment with Adam or Eve but the Serpent who tricked them. He curses the Serpent, “‘Cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals! You will crawl on your belly, and you will eat dust all the days of your life” (Genesis 3:14). Then God tells them all the promise listed in Genesis 3:15: “‘And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; He will crush your head, and you will strike His heel.’” Then the curses on Adam and Eve in childbirth and work come in verses 16 to 19. But notice that the promise precedes the curse.

The Promise

This truth lies at the heart of the gospel. The gospel is not the story of how God makes decent people into perfect saints. It’s the story of how he transforms cadavers into new creations. The Apostle Paul says in his epistle to the Ephesians, “Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins…But God is so rich in mercy, and He loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)” (Ephesians 2:1,4-5) God’s response to us does not proceed from our sins. He didn’t wait to see if we’d be perfect then send Jesus to make up the difference. Rather, “Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in His eyes” (Ephesians 1:4).

Conclusion

Before you cheated on that final exam, God chose you. Before you divorced your wife, God chose you. Before you tried to commit suicide, God chose you to be holy and blameless in His sight.

As I spoke on in “Naked and Unashamed”, sin demands judgment, yet God still desires a relationship with us. And you can’t have a relationship with a dead person. So God sent His Son to die in our place. And through His death, by crushing the Serpent’s head and absorbing his fatal bite, He’s enabled us imperfect beings to be in right relationship with a perfect God.

“Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now He has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation.”

(Colossians 1:21-22)

Clumsy Man in the Hands of a Perfect God

By Ife J. Ibitayo

While shopping at Wal-Mart last week, I knocked over a bottle of Dove body wash. I fumbled it like a loose football, and it slid under the shopping cart of a fellow shopper. The skinny Asian woman graciously handed it back to me. As I bent over to accept it, my glasses fell off my face. The woman smiled and asked, “Is this some kind of trick?” like a charade or a comedy act. I grinned back sheepishly and thought, Unfortunately, this is a way of life.

I’ve been notoriously clumsy ever since I was young. Slamming doors are the mortal enemies of my delicate fingers. I’d swear that invisible stub magnets are attached to my pinky toes. And I can only thank God that I didn’t grow up in any cities that iced over frequently. I slip well enough all on my own!

The Weight of My Imperfection

In spite of my clumsy ways, I’ve also ironically struggled with perfectionism my whole life. Growing up in a Nigerian household, I was implicitly and explicitly taught that “A” was the standard. Anything less was failure, and I applied this lesson ruthlessly to every area of my life. I strived to be an “A” student, an “A” brother, an “A” son, an “A” engineer, an “A” writer, and an “A” Christian because anything less was not acceptable. My college experience could be summed up by Matthew 5:48: “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

Perfection is not an easy weight to bear. I remember getting my first report card in grad school and being shaken at receiving two A-minuses. My GPA only went down from there. I’ve always striven for perfection, but over time, I’ve become devastated by the overwhelming chasm between where I am and where I think I should be.

The Strength of His Perfection

This reality is why I’m uniquely passionate about the Christian concept of grace. Grace is unmerited favor, receiving what you do not deserve. In the book of Ephesians, Apostle Paul said, “We were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved” (Ephesians 2:3-5). I am not good enough to be an “A” son. I don’t have what it takes to be an “A” employee all day every day. And I will never be an “A” Christian. But none of that matters.

God chose me because He loves me. I’m not subject to His wrath because of His mercy. I am heaven bound because of His grace. None of these realities are contingent upon my performance. They are rooted in the unchanging nature of my God (Hebrews 13:8).

Conclusion

The title of this article is a reference to Jonathan Edwards’ famous sermon “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God.” In that message, Edwards’ describes our plight in horrifying, vivid detail: “Your wickedness makes you as it were heavy as lead…and if God should let you go, you would immediately sink and swiftly descend and plunge into the bottomless gulf.” The shackles of my sinfulness weigh down my wrists. The mistakes of yesterday enfold my throat. The inky abyss awaits to swallow me whole if I trip just one more time.  But something arrests me.

As Paul said in the book of Ephesians, “But God.” In spite of my imperfection, because of His perfection, my salvation is sure. Each teetering step I take is steadied by the hand of my invisible Father. His perfection is stronger than my clumsiness, and it’s greater than all my mistakes.

“My God, His way is perfect: The LORD’s Word is flawless; He shields all who take refuge in Him.”

(Psalm 18:30)

Whose Glory Is It Anyway?

By Ife J. Ibitayo

A little over a year ago, God led me to start this blog. I baptized the process in prayer, reached out to friends and family, and even posted flyers around my neighborhood. I had naively hoped that even if it didn’t ride the rocket to stardom that I’d at least be able to generate some level of interest. But now it’s been over a year, and my rocket has yet to take off.

Whose Glory?

As I mentioned in my article on fame, my drug of choice has always been glory. Michael Jordan, Barak Obama, and Ife Ibitayo should all be mentioned in the same breath. Interestingly enough, fame is something that God wants too.

There are eighty-eight different passages in the Bible that speak of God doing something in order that people may “know that I am the LORD” (Exodus 7:5, 1 Kings 20:13, and Isaiah 49:23 to name a few). But since we’re both seeking glory, who does it properly belong to?

His Glory?

In the book of Isaiah, God says, “‘I am the Lord! That is my name! I will not share my glory with anyone else, or the praise due me with idols’” (Isaiah 42:8). So clearly God thinks He deserves all the praise and the honor and the majesty. Considering that He is the Creator of the universe, the Sustainer of all life, and the Savior of all mankind, that is probably a reasonable demand. But then why do we so desire glory for ourselves?

My Glory?

The root of our glory seeking is pride. It began with Satan in heaven in ages past. He said, “I will ascend to the heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the north. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High” (Isaiah 14:13-14).

Satan’s folly lay in attempting to set himself above God, and the same pride lies in our own hearts. We may not speak such blatantly boastful words, but we too think that we deserve praise and admiration. By the sweat of our brows and the work of our hands, we’ve fought for what we have today.

Chastising the Corinthians who were being ensnared by the same evil, Paul said, “What do you have that you did not receive” (1 Corinthians 4:7)? Our intelligence, our physique, and more were shaped by forces largely outside our control. We didn’t pave the path to where we are today but found it by stumbling across the yellow brick road of grace and mercy.

Our Glory

Yet the amazing thing about God’s glory is that it actually leaves room for our own as well. Before He was taken up to heaven, Jesus told the Father, “I’ve given them the glory that you gave me” (John 17:22). Jesus emphasized that there is glory that we can and should seek. But it is not derived from our own awesomeness but from the LORD’s. As we seek to glorify God on this earth, we may not receive the recognition we wish we did. But the LORD recognizes us, and He will glorify us at the proper time.

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time.”

(1 Peter 5:6)