Tag: friendship

Come Fund Me

By Ife J. Ibitayo

As a child, I never went door-to-door to “Save the Whales”. And for slightly more obvious reasons, you’d never find me selling Girl Scout cookies. Charity was something I gave (out of my $10 a month allowance), not something I received. But then I grew up, started a company, and realized that fundraising is probably my most important job of all. And the wellspring for any successful fundraiser begins with friends and family.

Let My People Ball Kickstarter Launch
Let My People Ball Kickstarter Page on Launch

Hey Friend!

In the weeks leading up to our first Kickstarter, I made a comprehensive list of all the friends I’ve accumulated over the years. As the list ballooned into the hundreds, I realized that there was one profound benefit that had arisen from having moved every few years since childhood: I had come to know and be known by a lot of people. A few of these friends I’ve remained in contact with throughout the years. But most of my conversations began a bit like this:

Hello Mrs. Jackson! I was a student in your English class in middle school! I know it’s been a decade since we last spoke, but…

Hey Chris! I heard about the new job! It’s awesome to see that you’re finally pursuing your dream! You know I also recently made a career change…

Hi Marisol! Congrats on the new baby! Do you want to know what I’ve been working on for the past 9 months…

Alright, my words might not have been so tongue-in-cheek, but it felt pretty darn close sometimes.

Will You Fund Me?

I was reaching out to people who I used to have a meaningful connection to long ago. But the sands of time had eroded our friendship over the years. Before each text, Facebook message, or email I wondered if many of these people would even remember me, or worse still I worried if my outreach would destroy any vestige of goodwill that might have lasted between us.

But instead of my deep-seated fears, the overwhelming response was deeply encouraging. From grad school, college, high school, and even touching back to elementary, friends of mine acknowledged my plea. They hadn’t forgotten me and further, they were happy to contribute to my vision.

Conclusion

One of the greatest highlights of this Kickstarter campaign has simply been the opportunity to reconnect. Some of my friends have changed drastically over the years. They’re living in new states with new careers and young families. But still much has remained the same. I had the opportunity to commiserate with a number of my rekindled compadres over our shared memories and made up a tiny bit for the lost time between us. And if nothing else arises from this venture, I’m eternally grateful for that.

Our Kickstarter for the first issue of Let My People Ball is live from August 15th, 2023 to September 14th, 2023 and can be accessed here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/let-my-people-ball-1/the-biballical-chronicles-let-my-people-ball-issue-1

Let My People Ball Kickstarter Just Launched!
Let My People Ball Kickstarter Just Launched!

Make Time

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Last week a good friend of mine dropped by my apartment on his way to the airport. I hadn’t seen him in years, and the joy of reconnecting, even just for a few minutes, flooded my heart with joy. But I almost didn’t make time to see him. I’d gone to bed late and woken up early, and my day was already jampacked with a laundry list of activities—including literal laundry. Did it really make sense to carve out precious time to see him? Couldn’t we just catch up over the phone? That mindset has dominated my thought process this new year. 2023 will be the year I launch my company, finish my novel, and ace my MBA classes. So what if a couple minor things slip like friendship and laughter?

Make Time for Friendship

But the Word says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor” (Ecclesiastes 4:9). Common business school wisdom teaches you that “it’s lonely at the top.” If you want to reach the top of your company, the summit of your industry, or the pinnacle of your personal success ladder, you’ll have to sacrifice people along the way. But if we leave in our a wake a graveyard of malnourished relationships, we’ll come to appreciate just how hollow “victory” can really feel.

Make Time for Enjoyment

Many people I know believe that enjoyment is a luxury that must be deferred. They’ll work hard now as an overworked cog in the corporate machine then play hard as an early retiree. But the Bible contains a parable that speaks directly to this sentiment: “There is one alone, without companion: He has neither son nor brother. Yet there is no end to all his labors, nor is his eye satisfied with riches. But he never asks, ‘For whom do I toil and deprive myself of good?’ This also is vanity and a grave misfortune” (Ecclesiastes 4:8).

My life has a way of filling itself up. Bouncing from one cycle of business to another can be all to easy in our fast-paced, work-glorifying culture. If we don’t take time to enjoy now before the “days of trouble come” (Ecclesiastes 12:1), we may let the sweetest seasons of our life pass us by.

Conclusion

Years come and resolutions go. We may not accomplish all we set out to in this shiny new year of 2023. But if we make time for our loved ones and share a couple laughs along the way, we may have just stumbled upon what we should have resolved to do anyway.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

(Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Counting My Blessings in Ethiopia

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Losing all my luggage on the way to a destination wedding in Africa is not how I imagined kicking off 2023. A siren blared in the back of my skull when a gate agent forced me to check my carryon bag: full of the clothes I needed to fulfill my role as a groomsman. Twenty-four hours later, I landed in Ethiopia, exhausted and bleary-eyed. And my nightmare became my waking reality as I found out I wouldn’t receive my luggage until the day after my friend’s wedding. My mom rang me shortly after, and I barely managed to croak, “I lost everything.”

Counting on Little

As I settled into bed after having brushed my teeth with the last vestiges of the mini-toothbrush set Qatar Airways had provided, I was plagued by how much I’d lost. I didn’t know how I’d make it through tomorrow let alone the wedding coming up that weekend. But as hours stretched into days, I marveled at how little I actually needed. Deodorant is helpful, as are spare underwear, socks, and t-shirts, but life has a way of going on even when you lose the many “essentials” you’ve grown accustomed to.

 In the book of Philippians, apostle Paul says, “I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything (Philippians 4:11-12).” The word translated “learned” in this passage is manthano. As opposed to learning from head knowledge, manthano is learning from experience. Of course, the comparison is a little disingenuous when I was staying in a 4-star hotel while Paul was subsisting in a Roman dungeon. But as cruel a mistress as fate can be when traveling internationally, in God’s hands, it can be transformed into an invaluable instructor in finding joy apart from material circumstances.

Counting on My Friends

Further, I was blown-away by the kindness of my friends and their family members as we made the best of my difficult circumstances. From cogent advice to help shopping, my Ethiopian friends enabled me to tread water for the days that I was without pretty much everything.

After I thanked the groom’s sister for all her assistance in mashing together a Frankenstein composite of replacement clothes for the wedding, she replied with a laugh, “Nobody could have done this alone.”

In a similar vein, wise King Solomon once said, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). If I learned one crucial lesson from this trip, it’s never travel alone! Yet I believe this teaching extends far beyond physical journeys. We were meant to journey through all of life together.

In accordance with this truth, Apostle Paul instructed 1st century Christians, “I don’t mean your giving should make life easy for others and hard for yourselves. I only mean that there should be some equality. Right now you have plenty and can help those who are in need. Later, they will have plenty and can share with you when you need it” (2 Corinthians 8:13-14). So in this situation, others were able to meet my need because I was traveling in community. And likewise in the future, when others’ needs arise, I will be able to pay it forward to them as well.

Counting on My God

Lastly, I was sustained by God’s Word. The morning after I lost my belongings, the verse of the day was Matthew 6:34: “‘Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own’”, which is an especially apt verse when you are lying awake in a jetlagged stupor attempting to figure out where you went wrong.

Earlier in the same passage, Jesus says, ‘“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes” (Matthew 6:25)? This verse shaped my experience here in Ethiopia. I was honestly tempted to drink a cocktail of self-pity and wallow in my sorrows, but this verse reminded me that there is more in life than food, drink, and even clothing.

Conclusion

As I wrap up this article the morning before I board my flight back to the United States, I am grateful. I am grateful for the laughter and jubilation as we celebrated my good friend’s wedding to his soulmate. I am grateful for the provision of God above and the kindness of loved ones all around me as I navigated this dizzying new adventure. And I am even grateful that I lost my luggage in the first place because now I appreciate how much God has given me in a fresh, new way.

“And my God will supply all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”

(Philippians 4:19)

I Thank God for the Memories (I Thank God For… Pt. 3)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For Part 1, “I Thank God for Gratitude”, click here. For Part 2, “I Thank God for His Promises,” click here.

Psalm 103:2 begins with, “Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits.” As I reflect on this psalm as we near the end of this year, its words resonate in the depths of my inner man. Many people called 2020 “the year that took our breath away,” but for me that was 2022. Some of the highest highs and lowest lows I’ve experienced in a long time occurred during this past year.

Lowest Lows

“Who heals all your diseases” (Psalm 103:3). There are few things in life as terrifying as a false positive. When I was told at a routine checkup in May that I “might have had a heart attack,” only the word of God sustained me through that stressful week. Just as God preserved King Hezekiah on his deathbed (Isaiah 38:1-5), God’s word held me together as I spiraled under the hold of a terrifying diagnosis.

“Who redeems your life from destruction” (Psalm 103:4a). Well, there might be one thing more terrifying than a false positive: an SUV u-turning out of traffic and barreling toward you on the sidewalk. My feet were glued to the ground as my brain struggled to process what my eyes were seeing. But a voice in the back of my head cried, “Move!” and I leapt out of the way right before the vehicle flattened a yield sign and crashed into a tree. For weeks, anxiety swirled within me as I walked around my neighborhood. But the God who’s protected me for all my years before promised to continue protecting me now. And I knew I could trust in Him.

Highest Highs

“Who crowns you with love and compassion” (Psalm 103:5a). In the midst of the many difficult moments this past year, I found God trustworthy. Even when I was stressing over small things, God proved loving and compassionate. One day, I found out that the mover I had selected to transport my stuff across the country was untrustworthy. But after several hours of scouring the internet, I had no alternative plan. So I went for a walk to pray, and I saw the moving truck for a company I had never heard of. When I researched them, they turned out to be a perfect fit, and they transported my belongings seamlessly.

“Who satisfies your desires with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s” (Psalm 103:5b). Since moving to Los Angeles, I’ve been blown away by God’s tremendous hand of blessing upon my life. Wonderful people have entered my journey at every step. I have classmates to celebrate with, believers to fellowship alongside, and a family to call home even when I’m a thousand miles from Houston. I never expected the food, fun, and laughs that I’ve found in this new city. And each new day I find myself waking up wondering if I’m still dreaming.

Conclusion

Memories are pictures etched in the photo album of our minds that we can flip back to in the years to come. I’m sure they will grey and grow fuzzy with time, but I’m positive that I will soon turn back to 2022 and thank God for the memories.

“I remember the days of old. I ponder all your great works and think about what you have done.”

(1 Chronicles 16:12)

Is Sharing Caring?

By Ife J. Ibitayo

After years of awkward conversations surrounding the question, “What’s your Instagram handle?” I finally setup my own account: @ifethestoryteller. I consider myself an old soul in the worst of senses. I’ve cracked Dad jokes since I was a teenager. My father is the one who’s always pushed me to adopt new technology (Apple should start paying him a commission). And I don’t understand social media. When I asked my friends, “How do you Instagram?” they struggled to reply. It was like asking them how to ride a bike or when an old man at Chick-fil-A asked me how text messages work. Apparently, millennials hold this truth to be self-evident: “All men are created equal and are endowed with the unalienable right to share every detail of their lives with the world.”

To Share or Not To Share

This past weekend, I finally finished putting together my apartment. I hung my last painting and unpacked my last box. And I strongly considered posting some pictures of my place on my Instagram account. But I hesitated. With just a few seconds of consideration, I realized how much others could learn about me from those couple pictures. From the quality of his furniture to the painting he hangs above his mantle, you can learn a lot about a man from his living room. And I wasn’t quite ready to share that with anyone who stumbled on my Instagram account. This raised a couple important questions for me, “Why do we share?” and “who should we share with?”

The Benefits of Sharing on Social Media

To share is human. The primary reason God transformed man into mankind is because “it’s not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). We need others to relate with, engage with, and do life with. Even the staunchest introvert in the world needs friendship. So steps in social media.

Facebook’s mission statement is “to give people the power to share and make the world more open and connected.” And in many ways, it’s achieved its mission. I have cousins I haven’t seen in person in years, but I know about their marriages, new jobs, and firstborn children. Social media has provided countless touchstones for me to keep up with the going-ons of people I care about (and others I frankly don’t)!

The Limitations of Sharing on Social Media

But at the same time, I’ve found social media to be like a mirage. It gives the impression of knowing others and the facsimile of being known, but only on the terms others dictate and only through the filter I apply.  

If my mother only knows as much about me as JonDoe3 who follows me on Instagram, we have a problem. There is so much I don’t share online. In me “there are multitudes”, warring contradictions I siphon out of my neatly labeled posts and reels.

There are certain feelings that can only be shared in person and only with a select few people. All too often, that group can shrink to none. Trust takes time to build. It also takes proximity. There is healing that comments and likes can never give me. That is why I can only be so committed to my Instagram feed. For me to know others and truly be known by them requires coffee breaks, dinners, and weekend getaways. It requires a level of commitment that social media will never demand yet offers a level of reward that social media can’t provide.

Conclusion

So every time I post, I have to ask myself, “Is sharing caring?” If the world doesn’t care about my latest failure, do I have friends that do? And is Instagram the best way to let them know? As I finish this post, I think it’s time for me to shut down my laptop and pick up my cellphone.

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

(Hebrews 10:24-25)

The Presence of Prayer (Prayer Changes Things Pt. 3)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I believe there is a third often overlooked aspect of prayer. Beyond changing things outside of us (Pt. 1) and changing things inside of us (Pt. 2), prayer ushers into the presence of God. It can be easy to reduce God to a divine slot machine. If we toggle enough levers and press enough buttons, our will will be done on earth as we expect it will be in heaven. Or we can relegate Him to a glorified mentor or life coach. But God wants deeper relationship than that: He wants to be our Friend, our Father, and our Husband.

Our Friend

We as humans possess a deep, profound need for friendship. That is why God said to Adam, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). But just like our predecessor, as soon as our horizontal need for friendship is fulfilled, we often neglect our analogous vertical need for friendship (Genesis 3). A true friend is someone with whom you connect for the sake of connection. In other words, the relationship itself is the end you are seeking when you spend time with that other person.

Many evenings I find myself coming to God with a long list of topics I want to run through: the state of our nation, difficulties in my family, looming deadlines at work, and many more. But I often sense that He doesn’t need me to repeat those prayers to Him again–He already knows my concerns before I pray them anyway (Matthew 6:8). Rather, He just wants to sit with me. He wants me to focus on being with Him rather than getting from Him.

Our Father

Secondly, God wants us to relate to Him as our heavenly Father rather than our overbearing boss. I’ve been reading the book of Romans recently, and I’m struck by the distinction between wages and grace. Romans 4:4-5 says, “When people work, their wages are not a gift, but something they have earned. But people are counted as righteous, not because of their work, but because of their faith in God who forgives sinners.” Similarly, an employee is hired based on their potential to add value to a company, and their continued employment is dependent on their performance. But a son is a son because they are a son. On my best days and on my worst, I am still God’s baby boy.

I often find myself tempted to perform when I come to God in prayer. I want to say the right words and quote the right verses and sing the right songs. But God does not care. When I enter His presence, He sets aside His gavel of judgment and spreads wide His royal robes, so I can hop in His lap. And He happily welcomes me when I’m pure and pious or when I’m dirty and broken.

Our Husband

Lastly, God wants to be our Husband. I think this is an oft neglected aspect of our relationship with God, deemed too intimate for many and too uncomfortable for men. But God’s marriage to us is a powerful analogy for His deep and abiding love for us. In Isaiah 54:5, God says, “‘Your Maker is your Husband,’” which intimately reminds us that God not only made us, He also chose us specifically as the objects of His affections. And He will continue to woo us with a forever love (Jeremiah 31:3).

When I enter God’s presence, He delights in me more than any doe-eyed newlywed. When I go on a date with God, all my bad jokes are funny and my quirky remarks are insightful. God desires to spend time with me far more than I with Him because He is such a good Husband!

Conclusion

When I pray, I enter into the presence of my best Friend, my loving Father, and my doting Husband. Through prayer I find my identity as a beloved son and bride. And so I love prayer, and through prayer I embrace how much God loves me.

“One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.”

(Psalm 27:4)

Humanity Was Made for Community

By Ife J. Ibitayo

This pandemic has been a harsh teacher for us all. I’ve seen just how fragile my normal life can be: Parties, holidays, and vacations can be disrupted in an instant. Dreams can been delayed for months and even years. And relationships can dissolve overnight.

There are so many people who I considered friends before the pandemic who aren’t my friends anymore. I haven’t pushed them away; I just haven’t pulled them close. And the tidal waves of time and space have caused us to drift apart. But just like fish were made for the sea and birds for the sky, humanity was made for community. But why do people need people? Why is community not a luxury but a necessity?

Community is Necessary for Conviction

Firstly, community is necessary for conviction. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “And let us consider one another in order to provoke love and good works, not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching.” I love the author’s word choice of “paroxysmon”, here translated “provoke.” That Greek word means, “A provocation which literally cuts someone so they ‘must’ respond.” Love and good works are not my natural go-tos. Pizza and Netflix are more like it. But when I hear about my small group helping someone move or serving at a food pantry or setting up for a church event, I am “provoked” into action.

 Conversely, selfishness and evil deeds flourish in isolation. Proverbs 18:1 says, “A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; he rages against all wise judgment.” I know that whenever I used to look at pornography, I didn’t go to the nearest library or visit my closest friend and open up my laptop. Rather, I entered my apartment, made sure no one else was home, turned off the lights, and only then typed in that address. But the Apostle John said, “If we walk in the light, as [God] is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin” (1 John 1:7). “Walking in the light” necessarily entails being open and honest about our sins with friends we trust.

Community Is Necessary for Healing

Which leads me to my second point, community is necessary for healing. There is something special about the gathering of believers that brings the power of Jesus near. Jesus Himself said, “Where two or more are gathered together in My name, there I am with them (Matthew 18:20).” Only the power of Jesus can heal broken bones, mends broken hearts, and reunites broken families. And that power is only fully realized in community.

Even Jesus Himself relied on community to bring about the full measure of His miracle working power. After Jesus raised His close friend Lazarus from the dead, “The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, ‘Unbind him, and let him go’” (John 11:44). After having raised this man from the dead, surely Jesus Himself could have unwrapped some meager linen strips. But even He believed that there was an essential aspect to having His community join in restoring Lazarus to full health. And this truth applies to us all. Even if God singlehandedly begins a great work in our lives, there is still a role our community will also play in freeing us from our former bondage.

Community is Necessary for Mission

Lastly, community is necessary for our mission here on this earth. Some of Jesus’ last words to His disciples before He died on the cross were, “‘A new command I give you: Love one another…By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34,35). It’s hard to love Jesus’ brothers and sisters without being around them. But when we make that effort, forming meaningful friendships with others, people’s hearts will be softened to the gospel message. Our greatest witness to the truth of Christianity is the quality of our deepest relationships. And the greatest gift we can give ourselves this new year is the blessing of community.

“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”

(Psalm 133:1)

The Rot of Jealousy (How the Mighty Fall Pt. 3)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For Part 1, “Mighty Presumption”, click here. For Part 2, “Putting First Things Second”, click here.

The last nail in the coffin of Saul’s leadership followed hot on the heels of a great victory. The shepherd boy David had just defeated the giant Goliath with a sling and a stone. The Israelites had routed the Philistinian army, and the conquering heroes returned home to much singing and fanfare. The women broke out in song, “‘Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands!’ But this made Saul very angry. ‘What’s this?’ he said. ‘They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next they’ll be making him their king!’ So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David (1 Samuel 18:7-9).” Jealousy was the final rot that toppled the tree of Saul’s legacy.

Jealousy Rots Happiness

Firstly, jealousy wreaks havoc on our emotions. Jealous leaders are short-tempered (1 Samuel 20:30), fearful (1 Samuel 18:12), and paranoid (1 Samuel 22:13).

The stability of our emotions is rooted in the source of our identity. If we define our leadership based on something that’s continually evolving like the progress of our graduating class or Fortune’s top 500 CEOs, our emotions will always be in flux. When we feel like we’re ahead, we’ll be on top of the world, riding high on our surging pride. But if we fall behind, which we inevitably will at some point in our journey, we’ll be crushed by the weight of unmet expectations. Our identity must be rooted in something fixed and unchanging if we ever want to develop emotions that are tranquil and harmonious.

Jealousy Rots Friendship

Secondly, a jealous leader will drive away key advisors and associates. David served in Saul’s inner court long before he himself became king. Every day he soothed the king’s frayed nerves by strumming masterful songs on his lyre. But the day following David’s defeat of Goliath, Saul tried to impale the young man on the tip of his spear, twice (1 Samuel 18:11)! He even attacked his very own son, Jonathan, when he protected the shepherd boy (1 Samuel 20:33)!

Jealousy will transform our closest allies into our bitter rivals. If we hold on to this emotion, we’ll soon find that it really is “lonely at the top.”

Jealousy Rots Leadership

Lastly, jealousy prevents leaders from fulfilling their responsibilities as a leader. Saul enlisted Israel’s best and brightest to hunt down one of his most loyal citizens (1 Samuel 24:2). So distracted was he by his hunt for this shepherd boy that a foreign nation was able to penetrated deep into his territory in the meantime (1 Samuel 23:19-27)!

When a leader fixes their gaze on someone else, of course they won’t be in a position to lead their own people well. It’s like you’re driving your family on the highway in your beat-up Prius while staring out your window at the Maserati cruising next to you. It’s just a matter of time before you–and everyone with you–suffers harm. We have to fix our gaze straight ahead on whatever God has called us to do if we want to finish it well.

Conclusion

When Saul fell into jealousy, his kingdom fell as well. His sons died in battle (1 Samuel 31:2). His people fled from their homes for their very lives (1 Samuel 31:7). And his dying moments were ignoble and pitiful (1 Samuel 31:3-5). If we let jealousy consume our leadership, it will consume all we hoped to build as well.

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”

(Proverbs 14:30)

Reframing (Healing House Pt. 1)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

A well-known pastor once said that “the church spends most of its time focusing on physical healing when the most important healing we need is emotional and spiritual healing. We can find joy with a broken body, but no one can find joy with a broken spirit.”

I’ve dealt with my share of physical ailments, from habitual headaches to nagging joint issues. But these pale in comparison to the emotional pain I’ve endured: crippling discouragement, crushing rejection, and corrosive loneliness to name a few. Yet my life in my ways has not been exceptional. We all have some measure of healing that we need from the LORD.

Reframing the Past

One of the first steps to healing is reframing the past. We need to actively and aggressively search for how God was working through the events that continue to haunt us.

Reframing the past doesn’t mean putting on rose-tinted glasses. The cancer really was that bad. Being fired really was unfair. We shouldn’t trivialize the suffering we experienced. Rather, reframing is our freedom to choose the aspects of our past memories that we focus on.

I’ve shared quite a bit about the past seven years of my life. If you’ve followed my blog for long enough, you might conclude that my undergraduate years were nightmarish, my graduate years were hellish, and my COVID year has been unspeakable. But there is another side to my story that I’ve done great disservice to.

Reframing My Past

While attending the University of Texas at Austin for my undergraduate studies, I entered into a deeper relationship with God than I ever had before. I grew in the amount of time I spent in His word and in prayer. I found solace and comfort as I poured my heart out to God every night in my closet. I found friendship and community that I didn’t ask for but really needed. God released the snares of pornography from my soul. And I received a world-class education that I’m still benefiting from today.

When I attended Purdue University for my graduate studies, God brought me into an intimate and special season with Himself. He spoke with me each day and uniquely guided even my most mundane of tasks. He protected me from harm and opened up doors at just the right moment. I accomplished amazing tasks in my last year that in my wildest dreams I couldn’t have imagined on day one.

Lastly, this past year God has again shown up strong. As I was freefalling into isolation, He caught me in His safety net of friends and families. He’s cheered my heart with small and big news. And He’s healed my body and spirit through the strangest of circumstances: from an old mentor that reached out to used books that I stumbled upon.

Conclusion

As long as we remember our history for the evil it brought us, it will continue to ensnare us. It’s like having an arm that broke long ago and snapping it out of joint every time we look at it. We have to courageously let go of the trauma of the past and embrace our hope for the future.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

(Romans 8:28)