What do you think of when I say the word “pain?” I’m certain that I don’t need to jog your memory for a list of painful circumstances you might have experienced. Your current unemployment, your bout with cancer, or your messy divorce surely come to mind of their own accord. And now that I’ve triggered such unwelcome flashbacks, you must be asking why I would do such a thing. What point is there in reliving pain?
Pain Hurts
But the problem of pain is not the pain itself. From pregnancy to pull-ups, many of us will welcome pain into our lives because we already know the purpose behind it. As many expectant mothers will relate, “A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world” (John 16:21). Rather the problem of pain is the problem of meaninglessness.
Meaninglessness Kills
A close friend of mine and his wife were diagnosed with cancer within a year of one another. Another friend of mine whose been dealing with insomnia and depression recently had a miscarriage. And I had my own fresh hell at the start of this year. When answers are lacking and our wounds haven’t even scabbed over yet, empty platitudes won’t suffice. “God works all things together for good” (Romans 8:28) doesn’t seem to cut it anymore. What “good” could possibly come from such tremendous loss?
Reframing Heals
One of our greatest superpowers as human beings is our ability to choose how we interpret our past trials. Vulnerability researcher Dr. Brene Brown once said that the power of a story is that it grants us control over our narrative. We are no longer the victim of our experiences but its author. And we can leverage that narrative authority to write a better ending for ourselves and for others.
Conclusion
We don’t have the ability to choose all the hellish things we’ll go through in this life, but we can decide if we pass that hell on to others or leverage it to drag them back from the abyss.
“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”
Note: This article was written for the graduating UCLA Anderson class of 2024.
I’ll begin with a disclaimer: If you’ve already landed your dream job or “Everything is Awesome” is the song you wake up to each morning, you can skip this post. But for everyone else, please read on. I’ll begin this post by telling my story here at Anderson. Then I will transition into what could have been yours. Then, I will conclude with what our story can be, together.
My Story
I came to UCLA with a single goal for my MBA: launching a mission-driven entertainment company. I founded my company last summer, completed our first product by the fall, and started earning revenue with the help of my amazing capstone team by last winter. But then life happened. My health failed at the start of this year. Four months later, I’m several pounds lighter, several thousand dollars poorer, and I shuttered my dream last month.
Your Story
I don’t believe my story is as unique as it sounds. Many of you left lucrative jobs, close friends, and even home countries to study here at Anderson. You may have seen an MBA as the next rung on your climb up the corporate ladder or the opportunity to make a fresh start. But then life happened to you too.
Your experience here may have left you a little scarred, (Heck, I am too!) but I’m here to tell you that this doesn’t have to define our story going forward.
Our Story
Anderson has a motto, “Think in the next.” Just between you and me, I always thought this sounded a little strange. However, now that I’m about to leave this school, it’s starting to resonate a little more. Because I know that twenty years from now, my fellow graduates will be the leaders, C-Suite executives, and entrepreneurs of tomorrow.
When that time arrives, I don’t want us to look back on our time here and recall only the challenges we faced. I want us to remember the Andernoons we attended, the free food, free talks, and not-so-free happy hours we enjoyed, and the amazing people that make Anderson, Anderson. I have bright hope for our futures, and I’m here to tell you that you should too.
Conclusion
As I conclude, I’m challenging all of my fellow Anderson graduates to truly “think in the next.” Greater days really are yet to come even if they don’t seem to be here just yet. And know that life doesn’t have to work out perfectly to turn out beautifully.
After a year of writing, editing, (attempted) fundraising, and polishing, I’ve completed my first comic book. Some of my friends have asked me how it feels to have finished Let My People Ball #1, but I don’t have much to say. I’m hurriedly preparing for Los Angeles Comic Con next month, still trying to figure out this behemoth called “social media marketing”, and already iterating on Let My People Ball #2.
The Goalposts
If I’m honest with myself, one reason I’ve plowed ahead is that reflection can be painful. Looking back on this past year, seeing all the false starts, mistakes, and sacrifices, I have to ask myself, “Has it been worth it?” And I must answer this question with 20-20 hindsight and 0-0 foresight.
In this specific case, the goal is achievement. “You wrote a book? Heh, good for you,” mocks the derisory voice in my head. That milestone is worth celebrating when I’ve sold my thousandth book. Scratch that! We can pop champagne once I’m a New York Times Bestseller.
But the truth is that when we make our achievement contingent on outcomes that are largely out of our control, we deprive ourselves of the joy we need to eventually get there.
The True Story
There is another, more nefarious side to this dogged “achieve-ism”. When we neglect to acknowledge our accomplishments, we are also dismissing what God has accomplished through us. The Apostle Paul said to “Rejoice in the Lord always and give thanks to Him in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:16, 17). But we often make our praise contingent on what God has done for us rather than who He is to us. We withhold our gratitude and thanksgiving because deep down, we must see God’s goodness to believe it. We doubt the story He’s writing in the ink of our sweat and tears truly has a happy ending.
Conclusion
So I say to you, fellow author, land that publishing deal. You, striving athlete, win that championship. Or if you’re Gen Z—like my little brother, “get that bag.” But remember that the most important things in life can’t be mounted on your mantle or summed up in your bank account.
If you’ve finished composing the greatest sonnet the world will never hear, celebrate! You graduated from college without a job? You still made it! Sometimes we need to validate our hard work first and trust that the glory will follow later. And as we wait, we can rejoice in our God who works together all things for our good and His glory.
“Do no throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.”
I still remember a conversation I had with a comic book creator I’ll call Leo. The quality of his detailed frescoes, his sharp dialogue, and his imaginative world building drew me to his booth at Los Angeles Comic Con. And as an aspiring comic book creator myself, I asked him what his experience had been like.
With weariness in his voice, described how tough the journey had been. Looking at the swath of popular indie comic book series he and his team had created over the course of a decade, I’d imagined that he of all people would be happy with the empire his hands had built. But he told me, “Sometimes, when I compare my journey to that of the friends I went to college with, I see their success, their families, and their money, and I wonder if I made the right choice.”
He spread his arms out to encompass his fellow comic book creators and said, “There are many people who come into this space, stick around for a year or two, then fizzle out. But those who’ve stuck around for 3, 5, or even 10 years, they’re the veterans. The only metric that matters here is time.” Yeah, that was not the most encouraging welcome I’ve received!
The Road not Taken
In the past year I’ve entered a new artistic community, founded a company, and created my first comic book. But I also quit my job, moved across the country, and took on student loans. In one of my first classes as an MBA student, I learned about a concept known as economic cost. Economic cost doesn’t just include the cost of choosing a particular choice. It also includes the cost of not choosing the alternative. And my alternative was pretty tempting.
I was an engineer working for a good company with a good salary surrounded by a good community living in a good city. The path forward may not have been easy (engineering rarely is), but it was relatively straightforward. The potential for management in my company, leadership in my church, and stability for my family all lay before me. But I sacrificed that to pursue my God-given dream.
And the key question that presents itself to me nearly every day is: Was it worth it?
A Fork in the Road
Jesus Himself told a story about this dilemma: “‘Which of you, wishing to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost to see if he has the resources to complete it? Otherwise, if he lays the foundation and is unable to finish the work, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, “This man could not finish what he started to build.”’” This very question has consumed my thoughts in recent days: “Will we be able to finish what we started?”
Conclusion
I’ve had to ask myself whether or not we would let this Kickstarter mark the end of our journey or its beginning. We are nearly finished with the first issue in our three-part series. But years lay ahead to finish the other two. The path to completion is muddled and many questions lie ahead. But I’ve counted the cost, and Lord-willing, I want to see this through to the end.
Let My People Ball Kickstarter Progress as of September 7th, 2023.
As a child, I never went door-to-door to “Save the Whales”. And for slightly more obvious reasons, you’d never find me selling Girl Scout cookies. Charity was something I gave (out of my $10 a month allowance), not something I received. But then I grew up, started a company, and realized that fundraising is probably my most important job of all. And the wellspring for any successful fundraiser begins with friends and family.
Let My People Ball Kickstarter Page on Launch
Hey Friend!
In the weeks leading up to our first Kickstarter, I made a comprehensive list of all the friends I’ve accumulated over the years. As the list ballooned into the hundreds, I realized that there was one profound benefit that had arisen from having moved every few years since childhood: I had come to know and be known by a lot of people. A few of these friends I’ve remained in contact with throughout the years. But most of my conversations began a bit like this:
Hello Mrs. Jackson! I was a student in your English class in middle school! I know it’s been a decade since we last spoke, but…
Hey Chris! I heard about the new job! It’s awesome to see that you’re finally pursuing your dream! You know I also recently made a career change…
Hi Marisol! Congrats on the new baby! Do you want to know what I’ve been working on for the past 9 months…
Alright, my words might not have been so tongue-in-cheek, but it felt pretty darn close sometimes.
Will You Fund Me?
I was reaching out to people who I used to have a meaningful connection to long ago. But the sands of time had eroded our friendship over the years. Before each text, Facebook message, or email I wondered if many of these people would even remember me, or worse still I worried if my outreach would destroy any vestige of goodwill that might have lasted between us.
But instead of my deep-seated fears, the overwhelming response was deeply encouraging. From grad school, college, high school, and even touching back to elementary, friends of mine acknowledged my plea. They hadn’t forgotten me and further, they were happy to contribute to my vision.
Conclusion
One of the greatest highlights of this Kickstarter campaign has simply been the opportunity to reconnect. Some of my friends have changed drastically over the years. They’re living in new states with new careers and young families. But still much has remained the same. I had the opportunity to commiserate with a number of my rekindled compadres over our shared memories and made up a tiny bit for the lost time between us. And if nothing else arises from this venture, I’m eternally grateful for that.
Having found the illustrator I’d been so desperately searching for, I was back in action! I was setting milestones, approving drawings, and spending money—lots of it. As my bank account plunged toward zero, I knew my next order of business was finding a way to pay for this massive project I was undertaking. But few appealing options presented themselves.
The Road Not Taken
I could try to find a traditional publisher like Simon & Schuster. But the thought of trying to convince a literary agent to try to persuade a traditional publisher to potentially pay me a reasonable advance seemed both daunting and time consuming. Months would pass before I even had the opportunity to begin The Biballical Chronicles in earnest, and that’s assuming one of the few gatekeepers was willing to take a chance on a green comic book creator like me.
Or I could try to find a comic book publisher like Image. But that felt like a nightmare wrapped in a fool’s errand trapped inside a moonshot. Not only was it incredibly difficult, the number of horror stories I’d heard about comic book deals made my skin crawl. Somehow, I had to launch out on my own and find a way to convince people to pay me money to do so.
Kickstarter’s Well Known Logo. Source: Kickstarter; Credit: Kickstarter
However, in practice, Kickstarter seemed to be a place where many naive creators had their dreams crushed and many gullible consumers had their money stolen. I’d never really viewed Kickstarter as a viable business model until I attended a panel on it at Los Angeles Comic Con. I heard Brittany Chapman-Holman (“Mother of Frankenstein”), Sean Persaud (“Shipwrecked Comedy”), and Anjali Bhimani (“I am Fun Size, and So Are YOU!”) describe their own Kickstarter experiences. They had raised tens of thousands of dollars, delivered rewards to hundreds of paying customers, and somehow lived to tell the tale.
After taking a copious amount of notes from these seasoned veterans, my three main takeaways were: First, there are nearly infinite ways to ruin a Kickstarter. From unreachable goals to unrealistic timelines, you didn’t need to look far to find a graveyard littered with the carcasses of Kickstarters gone awry.
Second, even when executed correctly, a successful Kickstarter requires a tremendous amount of work and forethought. Planning one of these was not for the faint of heart.
Third, despite the risk and toil, it can be a win-win for both the creator who’s raising the money and the community that pays for it.
Conclusion
That last point shattered my preconceived notions like a bat to a fine china collection. The knowledge that a dedicated, passionate creator like me could form an audience of passionate, paying followers renewed my hope that I could transform my dream into a reality. Now all I had to do was convince hundreds of people that I was making something worth buying.
There are rumblings of a new outbreak in China. Trump has just announced his bid for reelection. And the Golden State Warriors are on the verge of missing another playoffs. Nope, the year is not 2020 but 2022.
It’s been two long years since the COVID-19 pandemic swept the world, yet in some ways, it feels like we’re right back where we started. In C.S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters, the demon Screwtape speaks of humanity in this way: “to be in time means to change. [Humanity’s] nearest approach to constancy, therefore, is undulation-the repeated return to a level from which they repeatedly fall back, a series of troughs and peaks.”
Even in my own life I’ve noticed this pattern. Back in 2020, I’d just started a new job, moved to a new city, and started a new phase of life. And now in 2022, I’m doing the same. Many of us may be experiencing a similar sense of déjà vu as we approach the end of this year. Our 2023 New Year Resolutions might look a lot like 2022’s. Our new job might be starting to feel a lot like our old one. We’ve spent 364 long days trudging around this mountain just to find ourselves back at square one.
Background
The Israelites experienced a similar situation thousands of years ago. After God rescued them from the clutches of Pharaoh, they traveled to the very edge of the Promised Land. The milk and honey of this paradise was practically dripping on their tongues. But in the space of a few short weeks, they suffered their first military defeat and began a forty-year detour through the harrowing wilderness (Numbers 14).
A new generation of Israelites with a new leader named Joshua arose at the end of that era. As the Lord’s people again stood poised on the edge of the Promised Land, they faced one small problem: how to get a million people across the raging Jordan River.
Keep Your Distance
Firstly, Joshua commanded the Israelites, “‘When you see the ark of the covenant of the Lord your God being carried by the Levitical priests, you are to set out from your positions and follow it. But keep a distance of about two thousand cubits between yourselves and the ark. Do not go near it, so that you can see the way to go, since you have never traveled this way before’” (Joshua 3:3-4). The ark was a special chest representing the presence of the Lord amongst His people. And the Levitical priests were the special people ordained to carry it. So, the priests carrying the ark ahead of the people was a visible representation of the Lord going before them.
However, just like the Israelites back then, we may be tempted to rush ahead of God into this new year. As we shake off the dregs of winter break, we may be horrified by the mountain of work that has quietly accumulated for this coming January. But we must remember that God is our guide. Since He exists outside of time, He knows what lies ahead, and if we are humble enough to follow His lead, He’ll navigate us across our raging rivers safely.
Consecrate Yourself
Secondly, Joshua commanded the Israelites, “‘Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you’” (Joshua 3:8). Consecration is to make ready for the Lord. In the Old Testament, the Israelites had dozens of rules about consecration from avoiding certain foods to abstaining from sex. But the main thrust of these regulations was not about their external bodies but their inside man. They were meant to prepare their hearts for an encounter with God.
But when we find ourselves facing familiar problems with our health, our loved ones, or our job, we may want to dial down our expectations going into this new year. But as the author of Hebrews says, “Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1). We don’t want to miss God when He passes by; we want to wait expectantly on Him.
Mark the Watershed Moments
Lastly, after Joshua and the rest of the Israelites had finished crossing the Jordan, the Lord commanded them to take twelve large rocks out of the river and set them up as a memorial (Joshua 4). Grammarist defines a watershed moment as “a turning point…from which things will never be the same. It is considered momentous, though a watershed moment is often recognized in hindsight.” It’s essential to remember where we’ve been so we don’t end up back where we were. We must live our lives marking our watershed moments so that when we face our next raging river, we can confidently expect God to part it again.
Conclusion
If we follow God’s lead with a heart filled with hope, we may just see Him work wonders for us in 2023. The end of 2022 may look a lot like the beginning of 2020, but I assure you, we’ve never been this way before.
“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:19)
I’m your quintessential African American. I was born with a bottle in one hand and a Bible in the other. Church was my home base, the star my weekly schedule orbited around. Sunday was church day. Wednesday was church night. And I think there were some other, less important days in between.
I mastered the gamut of Sunday school stories about Abraham, Moses, David, and Jesus. I finished reading the Bible through by middle school, and I’ve studied, highlighted, and annotated it from cover to cover several times since. I’ve sometimes found myself wondering, “Is there a Bible Pt. 2? If B.I.B.L.E. stands for ‘Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth’, are there advanced instructions?”
The Nazarenes Who “Knew” Jesus
I recently reread Jesus’ homecoming story:
“Jesus left that part of the country and returned with His disciples to Nazareth, His hometown. The next Sabbath He began teaching in the synagogue, and many who heard Him were amazed. They asked, ‘Where did He get all this wisdom and the power to perform such miracles?’ Then they scoffed, ‘He’s just a carpenter, the son of Mary and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas, and Simon. And His sisters live right here among us.’ They were deeply offended and refused to believe in Him.
“Then Jesus told them, ‘A prophet is honored everywhere except in His own hometown and among His relatives and His own family.’ And because of their unbelief, He couldn’t do any miracles among them except to place His hands on a few sick people and heal them. And He was amazed at their unbelief” (Mark 6:1-6).
Of all the people to reject Jesus, the Nazarenes knew Him the longest. They’d spent three decades in His presence, watching His deeds and hearing His words. Yet they dismissed Him because they thought they already knew Him.
The Unbelief of “Knowing” Jesus
I find this same pattern playing out in my life. My eyes glaze over when I read John 3:16. Many mornings I let God’s living word slip past me like a shower rather than sink in like a bath. To misquote old man Solomon: “There’s nothing new under the Son” (Ecclesiastes 1:3).
But why does this matter? What are the consequences of knowing the stories but missing their Author? You’ll miss the miracles as well.
I’ve grow numb to the power of the simple gospel. I’ve heard that “faith can move mountains” (Mark 11:23). Yet I’ve seen the tension between faith and endurance, abundance and suffering, joy and sorrow. And I forget that even though “Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever” (Hebrews 13:8), life is not. And Jesus’ response to my situation yesterday may not—often, will not—be the same as His response today.
Conclusion
I think these truths are why Jesus said, “You must turn and become like children” (Matthew 18:3). Children know they haven’t gotten it all figured out. They readily accept the unexpected. They’re still open to having their minds blown!
I want to see healing, restoration, and resurrection. I want to accept that the patterns and rhythms I expect from God may change in an instant. I thought I knew Jesus, but I’ve only dipped my toes into the surf of His boundless oceans. I want to cast off my water wings of preconceived notions. Only then, will Jesus guide me into the deep end where feet fail and faith floats.
“To all perfection I see a limit, but your commands are boundless.” (Psalm 119:96)
I’ve been receiving a lot of critical feedback recently, both solicited and unsolicited. Concerning my forthcoming book, critics have said: “I think about half of what you have so far is deadweight.” And “Your characters sound like uneducated savages.” Concerning my startup idea, I’ve heard: “You don’t have the necessary industry experience.” “You don’t have the right leadership experience.” And even, “What is your role again?”
I was surprised at how deeply these verbal shards cut even when they were spewed with the best of intentions. I began to ask myself: Why is discouragement such a powerful tool to keep us from our destiny? And why is encouragement so crucial to achieving it?
My contemplation led me to the story of Elijah in the Bible, the greatest prophet of the Old Testament. This man’s prayers caused nationwide droughts (James 5:17). He called down fire from heaven on soldiers (2 Kings 1) and sacrifices alike 1 Kings 18). Elijah was the Biblical equivalent of Aang the Last Airbender. He was set apart in his generation, imbued with enviable divine power, and achieved glorious exploits.Yet even Elijah grew discouraged.
When Jezebel, the evil queen of Israel, threatened his life, Elijah fled into the wilderness. While there, Elijah said two things that reveal the dangers of discouragement.
Going Out Into the Wilderness
First, he said, “‘I’ve had enough, LORD. Take my life, for I am no better than my fathers’” (1 Kings 19:4). When we’re discouraged, we will be tempted to compare our journey with those who’ve come before us. And prophets did not have a good track record in Israel. Nearly across the board, they were persecuted, betrayed, and murdered (Acts 7:52). So what made Elijah special?
Secondly, Elijah said, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected Your covenant, torn down your altars, and put Your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too” (1 Kings 19:14). When we’re discouraged, we tend to magnify our problems and minimize our progress. In so doing, we transform challenging circumstances into impossible ones.
Going Back the Way You Came
But God spoke the encouraging words this beaten down man desperately needed to hear. First, God said, “Go back the way you came,” then He commissioned him to complete his mission (1 Kings 19:15). We will all get derailed in this life. We’ll make a string of fatal errors like Winston Churchill, or we’ll get hit by a string of unlucky breaks like Klay Thompson. But we need someone to remind us why we were taking the journey in the first place. We need someone to tell us, “Go back the way you came” if we want to end the war or win the championship.
Secondly, God told Elijah, “‘I have reserved seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him’” (1 Kings 19:18). When the voices of discouragement tell us that we will fail like everyone else did, we must remind ourselves that there are still those who’ve succeeded. And we could very well become one of them.
A number of stories written by people just like us do breakthrough. They win Pulitzer’s and Nobel Prizes. They change culture and inspire young children to dream of a brighter future. And they even inspire spinoffs, fan fiction, and subreddits.
Conclusion
When discouragement comes, we have only two options. We can stay in the wilderness and lament the loss of the naïve dream we once cherished. Or we can “go back the way we came” and keep on fighting.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Faith is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. It can uproot mountains (Matthew 21:21) and tear down strongholds (Joshua 6:1-27). That is why doubt is one of Satan’s most potent weapons to attack the kingdom of God.
Speaking of the crippling impact of doubt, the apostle James said, “When you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do” (James 1:6-8). These verses provide deep insight into the destructive power of doubt.
The Context
First, the Greek word translated “doubt” in this passage is diakrino. According to HELPS Word-studies, “diakrinos means literally to judge ‘back-and-forth’. It can refer either positively to close reasoning or negatively to over judging. Only the context indicates which sense is meant.”
Last week, I fielded over a dozen calls from various moving company representatives. Each of them tried to convince me that their organization was the right company for the job. I cross-examined, analyzed, and dissected every word they told me because I was going to entrust my most valuable possessions to them, yet I did not know or trust them. In that context, my paranoia was a healthy response to uncertainty and ensured that I chose the best company for the job.
On the other hand, I flew down to Florida last month. My mom told me that my dad was going to pick me up at the airport. I didn’t spend half an hour confirming that my dad was a better option than an Uber because I trust my father. And I can rely on him to show up when I need him the most.
Even though I confidently place trust in my earthly father, I struggle to do the same with my heavenly one. I find myself constantly questioning Him at every step along the journey. I’m like Peter who Jesus called out onto the water. I’ve seen God do the miraculous, yet I struggle to silence the whistling doubts that storm through my head, What if I can’t make this deadline? What if my bills are too high this month? What if I scared her away? And I sink into the tumultuous waves of analysis paralysis.
Conclusion
The answer to this double-mindedness is not to try harder. You can’t will a broken heart to trust God any more than you can will a broken clock to tell time. As an ocean of doubt floods my lungs, one verse gives me hope: “If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot disown Himself” (2 Timothy 2:13).
In spite of how powerful doubt is, there is yet a power greater still: our faithful Father. Just as Jesus plucked Peter out of the water and set him on solid ground, our Father will rescue us from our doubts. We just have to remember Peter’s words, “Lord, save me” (Matthew 14:30)!
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)
