Tag: discouragement

I Thank God for Gratitude (I Thank God For… Pt. 1)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

 About this time five years ago, I was a dispirited engineering graduate student. I experienced discouragement daily, frustration weekly, and hopelessness monthly. I vomited my heart’s content to God in prayer week after week. But one afternoon, He interrupted me with two words: “Thank Me.”

The thought struck me like a glancing blow to the head. It was so far out of left field that I dismissed it and carried on lamenting. But God repeated, “Thank Me.”

I shot back, “Don’t you know what I’m going through? Why on earth should I thank You?” But from that day forward, God began to teach me the essential value of gratitude.

Be Grateful for the Mundane

Christian author and artist Joni Eareckson Tada once had a mentor who started off every day by saying, “I thank you God for giving me arms that move and legs that walk.” Joni found this acknowledgment ridiculous until she found herself paralyzed from the neck down years later.

When we focus on our problems, pain, or poverty, we often neglect the silent blessings that God gifts us every day.  From the bed I lay on at night to the clothes I slip on in the morning, the sandwich I eat for lunch or the job I clock out of for dinner, each day is filled with a multitude of blessings we’ve grown used to. When we take the time to explicitly enumerate such graces, we can appreciate how blessed our life remains even when it is filled with staggering difficulties.

Be Grateful in the Bad

Furthermore, there is often good to be found in the bad if we dare to look for it. In fifth grade, my tonsils swelled in my throat. I collapsed out of my chair as I struggled to breathe, and my teacher called an ambulance. I could not believe that the paramedics were coming for me, of all people.

But I still remember my relief when my mom arrived on the scene and my heartfelt gratitude for a kind letter a classmate gave me the following day. There are very few other moments in my life that I felt as loved and supported as I did that week in spite of the terror of gasping for air. Even though the good to be found in bad situations may not be evident, that doesn’t mean it’s nonexistent.

Be Grateful for Our God

Lastly, gratitude focuses our minds on the greatness of our good God rather than the badness of our evil problems. The psalmist Asaph once said, “When the earth and all its people quake, it is God who holds its pillars firm” (Psalm 75:3). If God can steady Los Angeles when it quakes (which it does thirty times a day), He can surely steady my life when I’m shaken by stress or distress. Such reminders grant us fresh perspective on our challenging life circumstances.

Conclusion

From the day I made a habit of gratitude—thanking God daily in my prayers and keeping a list of ten things I am grateful for each evening, my master’s experience improved. My circumstances hadn’t changed. Several months passed before tangible signs of hope entered the test cell I slaved in day and night. But the transformation within me directly impacted my view of the world around me. And that is why I’ve found gratitude to not be the product of a good life but the input that produces a beautiful one.

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”

(1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Go Back the Way You Came

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I’ve been receiving a lot of critical feedback recently, both solicited and unsolicited. Concerning my forthcoming book, critics have said: “I think about half of what you have so far is deadweight.” And “Your characters sound like uneducated savages.” Concerning my startup idea, I’ve heard: “You don’t have the necessary industry experience.” “You don’t have the right leadership experience.” And even, “What is your role again?”

I was surprised at how deeply these verbal shards cut even when they were spewed with the best of intentions. I began to ask myself: Why is discouragement such a powerful tool to keep us from our destiny? And why is encouragement so crucial to achieving it?

My contemplation led me to the story of Elijah in the Bible, the greatest prophet of the Old Testament. This man’s prayers caused nationwide droughts (James 5:17). He called down fire from heaven on soldiers (2 Kings 1) and sacrifices alike 1 Kings 18). Elijah was the Biblical equivalent of Aang the Last Airbender. He was set apart in his generation, imbued with enviable divine power, and achieved glorious exploits.Yet even Elijah grew discouraged.

When Jezebel, the evil queen of Israel, threatened his life, Elijah fled into the wilderness. While there, Elijah said two things that reveal the dangers of discouragement.

Going Out Into the Wilderness

First, he said, “‘I’ve had enough, LORD. Take my life, for I am no better than my fathers’” (1 Kings 19:4). When we’re discouraged, we will be tempted to compare our journey with those who’ve come before us. And prophets did not have a good track record in Israel. Nearly across the board, they were persecuted, betrayed, and murdered (Acts 7:52). So what made Elijah special?

Likewise, if we ever want to achieve anything meaningful in our lives, the stats will never be in our favor. For example, only 1 in 4 authors will find a publisher for their completed manuscript. And of these lucky few, only 1 in 100 will turn a profit. Similarly, 90% of all startups fail. Comparison to others can provide a useful dose of reality, but it can also be the quickest way to kill our ambitions before they leave the ground.

Secondly, Elijah said, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected Your covenant, torn down your altars, and put Your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too” (1 Kings 19:14). When we’re discouraged, we tend to magnify our problems and minimize our progress. In so doing, we transform challenging circumstances into impossible ones.

Going Back the Way You Came

But God spoke the encouraging words this beaten down man desperately needed to hear. First, God said, “Go back the way you came,”  then He commissioned him to complete his mission (1 Kings 19:15). We will all get derailed in this life. We’ll make a string of fatal errors like Winston Churchill, or we’ll get hit by a string of unlucky breaks like Klay Thompson. But we need someone to remind us why we were taking the journey in the first place. We need someone to tell us, “Go back the way you came” if we want to end the war or win the championship.

Secondly, God told Elijah, “‘I have reserved seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him’” (1 Kings 19:18). When the voices of discouragement tell us that we will fail like everyone else did, we must remind ourselves that there are still those who’ve succeeded. And we could very well become one of them.

A number of stories written by people just like us do breakthrough. They win Pulitzer’s and Nobel Prizes. They change culture and inspire young children to dream of a brighter future. And they even inspire spinoffs, fan fiction, and subreddits.

Conclusion

When discouragement comes, we have only two options. We can stay in the wilderness and lament the loss of the naïve dream we once cherished. Or we can “go back the way we came” and keep on fighting.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

(Galatians 6:9)

Hope Deferred (Time & Timing Part 2)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For Part 1 on “Living in the Present”, click here.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Proverbs 13:12a NIV). The truth of this proverb resonates deep within me. I’ve waited for sicknesses to be healed, relationships to be redeemed, and dreams to be realized. Some of these have come to pass, but all too many are still waiting in the wings. This season of waiting has given me an opportunity to reflect on the stages of waiting I’ve experienced with my writing.

Hope Deferred

I’ve written stories, poems, and essays throughout my life. I’ve always had a bit of a knack for stringing words together. But it wasn’t until I reached college that I became serious about writing. I transitioned from a person who writes “seasonally” to a consistent writer.

I still remember the thrill of sending out my first short story, “An Oculus for An Oculus”, to The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction. With unbridled hope and unrealistic optimism, I mailed my piece off and excitedly looked forward to securing my first publication.

A month later, I received my first rejection. I was a bit discouraged, but I shook it off and sent out my story again, and again, and again. Soon I found I had submitted my story everywhere under the sun and then some, but I had turned up empty handed.

I convinced myself that it must have been just that story. I was a new writer after all, so I had a lot to learn. So I wrote more stories, sent them out, and received yet more rejections. No matter how hard I tried or how much I wrote, I could never break through.

Hope Fulfilled

My faith went through stages. It began with zealous prayer and great expectation. Then it transitioned into bargaining. I promised God I’d give Him the proceeds from my first publication, then the first $100 bucks I made from my writing. Then it degraded to tearful pleading as my hope sunk into the morass of disappointment.

I nearly gave up several times along the journey. Disillusionment discouraged me from wasting any more time writing. But a timely word from my parents or an encouraging personal rejection such as this one—”I see potential in your writing (which is why I pulled this one out of the slush pile to read myself instead of assigning it to an associate editor and why I provided some feedback) so please keep writing and keep submitting! I suspect you will have pro sales under your belt by the time we reopen next year.”—gave me the nudge I needed to try “just one more time.”

After seven years, over a dozen polished pieces, and hundreds of letters of rejection, I am finally published! I feel no shame saying that tears came to my eyes when I received it. Like Proverbs 13:12 goes on to say, “a dream fulfilled is a tree of life”, and this accomplishment has brought me much needed comfort and encouragement.

Conclusion

Now I’ve spent this article talking about my writing. Although it is an important passion to me, it may not be nearly as important to you as your health, finances, or your relationships. But the same principle applies.

You too probably have dreams that have been deferred far longer than you ever imagined. You might have even given up on them. But we must be careful to not interpret God’s “wait” as a “no”. If God asks us to wait on Him, to tarry long in His presence, we must not give up. God always keeps His promises. It might just take a little longer than we expected.

“‘And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to Him day and night? Will He keep putting them off? I tell you, He will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?’”

(Luke 18:7-8 NIV)

To read my first publication, “Untraditional”, click here to purchase a copy of Andromeda Spaceways Magazine Issue #81.