Category: Life & Lessons

We are the Israelites!

By Ife J. Ibitayo

There once was a nation that dominated the world financially, militarily, and culturally. It was the heart of trade, the brain of technology, and the soul of deep spirituality. But within a couple decades, a revolt split the country in two. A few years later, it was conquered by another military juggernaut. Then a few short generations after that, it ceased to exist as a country at all. Who was this nation, you ask?

This nation was ancient Israel, an upstart people that overcame geopolitical turmoil to dominate the Ancient Near East for nearly a century.

The Purpose of Israel

From the time God led the Israelites out of Egypt, He had a specific calling for them. He commanded them, “‘If you obey me fully, then out of all the nations you will be My treasured possession. And although the whole earth is mine, you will be for Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation’” (Exodus 19:5-6). God called His people to be His representatives here on earth. And by obeying His commands, they would both be blessed and be a blessing.

The Problem with Israel

But from the moment Israel stepped foot into the Promised Land, they were hellbent on turning their backs on God. From the sun and stars above (Acts 7:42) to the rocks and trees below (2 Kings 17:10), the Israelites worshiped everything in the universe except its Creator. And as they slid into idolatry, their morality unraveled.

Speaking on their great wickedness, the prophet Amos lamented on behalf of God, “They sell the innocent for silver, and the needy for a pair of sandals. They trample on the heads of the poor as on the dust of the ground and deny justice to the oppressed. Father and son use the same girl and so profane My holy name” (Amos 2:6-7).

Through their depravity, the ancient Israelites rejected their calling. Instead of being a blessing to the nations, they were a curse—a people so corrupt even the most depraved of nations could learn from their wicked ways.

The Purpose of the Church

Which brings us to the modern-day church. We are the Israelites! As the Apostle Peter said, “we are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9)! Through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, God extended His family to include not only those biologically descended from Abraham but also those who share in his same faith (Galatians 3:6).

And Jesus Christ commissioned us with a purpose: “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19-20). And chief among these commandments is loving God and loving others (Matthew 22:36-40).

 From inventing hospitals to founding universities, the church has powerfully catalyzed positive social change for thousands of years.

The Problem with the Church

But the church’s history is also a checkered tale filled with tremendous stumbles and egregious moral lapses. Under the guise of spreading Christendom “to the heathen”, Britain and the rest of Europe rapaciously plundered Africa, America, and much of the rest of the known world. Looking a little closer to home, the church in America played an active role in prolonging slavery and segregation rather than ending them. And the rise of evangelical purity culture in the past couple decades has succeeded not in ending premarital sex but traumatizing a whole generation of young women. Just as ancient Israel ultimately failed to live up to the standard God set for it, so have we as the church today.

Conclusion

We can be all too easily tempted to delineate the line between the good and the evil as those inside the church versus those outside of it. But as the late Soviet dissident Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn once said, “the line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either– but right through every human heart.”

Many Christians would be shocked to learn that the most moral person they know may not be their church’s head pastor but their irreligious boss. Or that their drinking, smoking, cursing coworker is a better husband than their clean-cut small group leader. Or that their gossipy neighbor is more righteous than they are.

But that’s the irony of grace. It’s not the reward we earn for being good people but the gift we humbly accept for being bad.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.”

(Ephesians 2:8)

Divine Promises and Hellish Realities

By Ife J. Ibitayo

“‘Go from your country, your people, and your father’s household to the land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation…I will make your name great…and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you’” (Genes 12:1-4). God made Abraham this promise when he was 75 years old. If I were an old man with no offspring and no land, I think I would have taken God up on His offer too. In a few years, I’d be dead, and by then I’d birth a nation, enter the Biblical Hall of Fame, and bless the world. But God failed to tell Abraham he’d wait twenty-five years for his son to be born (Genesis 21:5) and be homeless for the rest of his life (Hebrews 11:9). If only that had been included in the disclaimer before Abraham signed the rest of his life away.

And this wasn’t a one-off oversight either. God didn’t clue Joseph into the years of hardship that awaited him before his brothers finally bowed before him. God neglected to tell Moses that by abandoning his regal palace in Egypt, he’d wind up wandering in the wilderness for 40 years, twice! And David did not simply topple Goliath and ascend the throne. Two long decades in caves, backwater towns, and a foreign country awaited the shepherd boy before he finally claimed what was rightly his.

Viewing all these cases together, a disturbing pattern emerges of divine promises tempered by hellish realities. Could there be any reason for this painful dichotomy?

Divine Promises

Just like any good parent, God is intimately familiar with His children. He knows what makes us tick, what inspires us, and what worries us. If God told us (like He did Paul), “I will show him how much he must suffer for My name’s sake,” (Acts 9:16), He wouldn’t have to waste His breath showing any of us the exit.

Church planter Tom Bennardo describes God’s selective revelation like this: “The mental image God bestows graciously draws us into privileged participation in a journey we won’t regret when it’s done, but one that we might not have been willing to enter if we had known the entire plan in advance.” Marriage, children, college, and a host of other critical life choices brim with promise. Yet they’re simultaneously filled with tears. Tremendous highs and incredible lows are tandem twins in this life. But because of a psychological phenomenon known as loss aversion, we take losses much harder than we appreciate gains. This is one key reason why God is willing to show us the glory ahead of time, but He lets the difficulties surprise us.

Hellish Realities

Further, no matter how we choose to live our life, pain is all but guaranteed. We are resident aliens in a fallen world. So broken bones and shattered dreams shouldn’t surprise us here on planet earth. Yet they do! And as they accumulate, discouragement will rear its ugly head like the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. That is why God gives us promises.

“When God made His promise to Abraham, He wanted to make the unchanging nature of His purpose very clear so that we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged” (Hebrews 6:13, 17, 18). Promises give us something to hold on to as we wait. Every “also ran”, romantic breakup, and failed business venture is not the end of the line, but a link on the unbroken chain to the vision God has so firmly implanted on our hearts.

Conclusion

Christian Comedian Yvonne Orji wrote a book titled Bamboozled by Jesus: How God Tricked Me into the Life of My Dreams. And I agree with the tongue in cheek sentiment of her pithy work. Like a master of legerdemain, sometimes it feels like God shows us one thing but slips us something else. But every good and perfect gift comes from God (James 1:17). And this includes both the vision we see and the present we receive from His hand.

“’You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.’”

(Matthew 7:9-11)

The Oil of Pride and the Water of Grace

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Last month, I alluded to a significant financial setback on my journey to launching a business. What if I told you since then God has graciously met my need but my pride nearly aborted the whole process?

Pride is Me-Based

America was built on the myth of self-made men and women. We’ve been conditioned to believe, “With unrelenting intensity and a can-do attitude, the best and brightest can move every mountain all on their own.” I’ve all too often fallen into this trap. But all too often bad timing, bad luck, and my bad habits remind me that I can’t always be the solution to my problems.

Grace is God-Based

In his best-selling book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell argues that the truly exceptional “appear at first blush to lie outside ordinary experience…[but their success] is grounded in a web of advantages and inheritances, some deserved, some not.” In other words, our success will always be contingent on forces beyond our control. Even the Bible affirms this truth: “The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle…And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time” (Ecclesiastes 9:11).

The atheist accept this as randomness, and the spiritual call it destiny. But the believer knows this phenomenon as grace, for even “every roll of the dice is determined by the LORD” (Proverbs 16:33). Grace points to a force beyond our own two hands that ultimately determines the outcomes in our lives. It lifts the weight of responsibility off our shoulders and places it squarely on the LORD’s. This means it also shifts the weight of glory from our crown to His.

Conclusion

Pride and grace are like oil and water; they don’t mix. For God Himself says He “opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6).

The oil of pride is complex. Crude oil is a mixture of hydrocarbons which has no easily written chemical formula. Similarly, pride requires all sorts of explanations to justify its existence.

But the water of grace is simple. Water has only two components: hydrogen and oxygen. Similarly, grace requires only two responses: gratitude and humility. And these two responses can be summed up in two words: Thank you.

“A man’s pride will bring him low, but a humble spirit will obtain honor.”

(Proverbs 29:23)

Article Frequency Transition

By Ife J. Ibitayo

With all of the projects I’ve undertaken recently including creating a graphic novel, finishing my second science fiction novel, and launching a company, I’ve decided to transition my blog from a weekly post to a monthly post.

Having written a post a weekly for nearly three years almost without fail, I didn’t find this decision easy to make. I still have so much I’d like to share as this journey unfolds, but I’m hoping this transition will help pave the way for some exciting announcements in the future.

Thank you all for following along, and see you again later this month!

Setbacks to Glory

By Ife J. Ibitayo

You know that feeling when you’ve been working toward something for months? You’ve been trusting, fasting, praying for it to come through. But that hopeful interview turns into a hopeless disappointment. You “shot your shot,” and you missed.

I’ve nearly drowned in that feeling this past week, a toxic blend of disappointment, bewilderment, and a dash of self-pity. If “all things truly work out for the good of those who love God” (Romans 8:28), what good can be found in yet another setback?

Perseverance

First, it develops perseverance. Two years ago, I shared a little bit about my writing journey. Striving to become a professional writer has been one of the greatest challenges of my life. Much to my father’s chagrin, the only documents I have framed on my wall are not from any of my graduations but from my first publications. But that is because of the power of perseverance. When year after year you receive rejection after rejection, you can either grow bitter or get better.

The Word says, “Let us not grow weary of well doing, for in due season we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9). From Oprah Winfrey to Winston Churchill to Michael Jordan, many of the giants of this past century did not cruise through life on easy mode. But rather, their hard work, determination, and “never-give-up” attitudes led to the acclaim they’ve now rightly earned.

Humility

Secondly, it inculcates humility. Joseph in the Bible has one of the greatest “riches to rags back to riches again” stories of all time. He began his life as a pampered trust fund baby who dreamed that he’d someday rule over the rest of his family. And he had to make sure they all knew it too!

But that “wise” decision led to thirteen years of slavery and imprisonment. The end of Joseph’s time in prison was punctuated by another dream. And because of it, he was led into the royal halls of the preeminent empire of his time to speak to the most powerful figure in the world. And when Pharaoh, king of Egypt, asked Joseph to interpret the strange dream he had, Joseph’s first words were, “‘I cannot. But God will give Pharaoh the answer he desires’” (Genesis 41:16).

Setbacks are often the only force powerful enough to remind us of our limitations. In American culture, we are taught from day one that we are special. Our straight A’s, scholarships, raises, and promotions all attest to our singular genius.

But when we are passed over, delayed, or rejected, we’re forced to look within and take stock of our weaknesses. And we’re reminded of the grace of God that has carried us thus far.

Conclusion

When naming this article, I realized that some might misunderstand “Setbacks to Glory” as obstacles that impede our journey to greatness. But it’s quite the opposite. Setbacks are rungs on the ladder of distinction. By callousing our fingers and deflating our egos, setbacks accelerate us toward success. The question is: Will we let them set us off course from our God-given vision or set us up for the triumph to come?

“We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that sufferings produce perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

(Romans 5:3-4)

Reasons I’m Grateful for My Mom’s Life

Ife J. Ibitayo

If you asked me to fly to a new country to shelve my Ph. D. for a couple decades to raise three rambunctious boys, I would have laughed in your face.  The depth of that sacrifice, the height of that love mystifies me. And yet that is exactly what my mom did. This year, I was moved to write the 57 58 Reasons I’m Grateful for My Mom’s Life. And I wanted to highlight a few key items from that list.

She Showed Up for Every Big Moment

I attended a boarding school for the last two years of high school. I spent several weeks explaining to my parents why there was no need for them to come up for my graduation. But that morning, as I was preparing to walk the stage alone, I received a random call from my mom. She was asking for directions, and I was frustratedly trying to figure out why she needed them right now until she revealed the whole family had just arrived in town. That day was one of the happiest moments of my life, and my friends relayed how loudly I paraded my family around my old stomping grounds.

She Rises Early Every Morning

Ever since I was young, my mom would disappear for hours on end early in the morning. If I couldn’t find her, I’d tiptoe into her study and see her praying, reading her Bible, or praising God. Day in and day out, she prioritized God’s presence. And because of her example, I began to prioritize God’s presence too.

She Supports My Dreams

No matter the dream or passion I’ve had on my heart, my mom has always supported it. I was a bench player on the junior varsity basketball team in my small high school. When the entire team consists of seven players, that is definitely saying something! And yet, my mom would pick me up day after day, week after week from our late basketball practices. I never did become the next Jordan, but I did learn the value of commitment. My mom wouldn’t stop putting in the effort to support me as long as I dedicated myself to improving my craft.

She Forgives My Mistakes

One particular winter during college, I committed the cardinal sin of misdating my mom’s birthday. I called her up and excitedly wished her a special day. I could hear the pain in her voice as she thanked me and said it was actually two days from now.

Forgotten birthdays, neglected dishes, and broken washing machines can tally up to a mighty mountain of resentment, but my mom has forgiven me for every little mistake and every big one too.

So I say happy birthday, Mom, and thank you for everything!

“Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: ‘There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!'”

(Proverbs 31:29)

Blank Space

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I spent last Saturday in Los Angeles’ remarkable Koreatown with a dozen of my friends. From salivating over tender bulgogi to munching on a toasted fish waffle, I and my stomach will cherish that sunny afternoon. But the highlight of that weekend was definitely karaoke.

The crooning of Ed Sheeran and the hoarse howling of Bruno Mars transported me back to my teenage years faster than the DeLorean. And our song choices seemed especially apt for the Valentine’s Month, alternating between sappy serenades and heartbreak belters.

But one song in particular from that tangled love sequence arrested my attention: Blank Space by Taylor Swift. If you don’t remember attempting to tune out that chart-topping pop song, here are some of the lyrics to “refresh” your memory:

So it’s gonna be forever,

Or it’s gonna go down in flames.

 It’ll leave you breathless, mm

Or with a nasty scar.

Got a long list of ex-lovers.

They’ll tell you I’m insane,

But I’ve got a blank space, baby,

And I’ll write your name.

Besides forcing me to seriously question the moral fabric of the music industry, this song made me reflect on the extreme nature of many of our relationships. They’re either sweet, or they’re bitter. “I love her,” or “I hate her.” Whether it’s marriage, business partnerships, or friendships, “it’s gonna be forever, or it’s gonna go down in flames.”

No Space

But this is not the way God treats us. Of all the beings in the universe with ample reason to hold a grudge, God tops the list. He created a good world, filled it with good things, and gave it us, originally good people. Yet we shortly thereafter broke every single one of His rules, and we’ve engaged in hostile revolt ever since.

We are the backstabbing friend. We are the cheating wife. We are Brutus, Benedict, and Judas rolled into one. And yet, in the book of Hebrews, God says, “I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more” (Hebrews 8:12).

A pastor once said God is like a judge trying a murderer. But when the man is convicted for his crime, the judge steps down from his bench, takes off his robe, and insists he take the man’s place. The book of Isaiah summarizes this tremendous exchange: “But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:6).

White Space

And so, by drawing from this deep well filled with the precious blood of Christ, God demands we forgive. God asks us to forgive each other “seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22) because He forgave us a million times. He pleads for us to lay down our hurt, anger, and pride at the foot of the cross. He says, “‘I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions,” (Isaiah 43:25) leaving our blackened hearts as white as snow. And in that blank space, He wants to write His name.

“For His unfailing love toward those who fear Him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.”

(Psalm 103:11-12)

Letters for a Marine Recruit

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Thirteen weeks of the most grueling combat training man has ever concocted. Three mortifying months without Wi-Fi or Chick-Fil-A for comfort. That is what my friend signed up for when he shipped out to marine basic training last month. Shortly after he left, I received a Facebook message from his wife asking if I’d write him. As I penned my thoughts down on a sheet of paper, I reflected on the value of my scribbles. Why is such a simple act of connection so important for those enduring grueling circumstances?

I Have Not Forgotten You

First, when we connect with those in pain, we let them know, “I have not forgotten you.” Hebrews 13:3 says, “Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.” When one is isolated from others for a good reason (like military training) or a bad one (like incarceration), loneliness is bound to follow. But when we take the time to connect with such people, we affirm that their lives matter. They are not forgotten on the outside, and there are people who are still rooting for them there.

I Identify with You

Secondly, when we connect with those who are suffering, we let them know, “I identify with you.” Sympathy is surprisingly costly. When my life is going peacefully, I don’t want to struggle with those who are battling. But that is what it means to be family. Speaking of the church of Christ as one body, Apostle Paul said, “If one member suffers, all the members suffer together” (1 Corinthians 12:26). We must be willing to enter “boot camp” with them in a sense, shouldering their burdens and sharing in their highs and their lows.

I Love You

Lastly, when we connect with those who are laboring, we let them know, “I love you.” Love is not squishy sentimentality. It is a costly willingness to sacrifice on another’s behalf for their good. As Apostle James said, “If one of you says to your brother or sister without food and clothing, ‘Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is that” (James 5:16)? Similarly, if we say we love our friends and family members, but that does not translate into the willingness to visit them, call them, or even mail them, we may need to reconsider our definition of love.

Conclusion

As I mailed my letter out earlier this week, I didn’t know how my friend would receive it. Would it make his day? Would he even be able to read my messy handwriting? I didn’t know. But I do know I’ll keep on writing him until he returns home safely.

“I thank God, whom I serve with a clear conscience as did my forefathers, as I constantly remember you night and day in my prayers.”
(2 Timothy 1:3)

Make Time

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Last week a good friend of mine dropped by my apartment on his way to the airport. I hadn’t seen him in years, and the joy of reconnecting, even just for a few minutes, flooded my heart with joy. But I almost didn’t make time to see him. I’d gone to bed late and woken up early, and my day was already jampacked with a laundry list of activities—including literal laundry. Did it really make sense to carve out precious time to see him? Couldn’t we just catch up over the phone? That mindset has dominated my thought process this new year. 2023 will be the year I launch my company, finish my novel, and ace my MBA classes. So what if a couple minor things slip like friendship and laughter?

Make Time for Friendship

But the Word says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor” (Ecclesiastes 4:9). Common business school wisdom teaches you that “it’s lonely at the top.” If you want to reach the top of your company, the summit of your industry, or the pinnacle of your personal success ladder, you’ll have to sacrifice people along the way. But if we leave in our a wake a graveyard of malnourished relationships, we’ll come to appreciate just how hollow “victory” can really feel.

Make Time for Enjoyment

Many people I know believe that enjoyment is a luxury that must be deferred. They’ll work hard now as an overworked cog in the corporate machine then play hard as an early retiree. But the Bible contains a parable that speaks directly to this sentiment: “There is one alone, without companion: He has neither son nor brother. Yet there is no end to all his labors, nor is his eye satisfied with riches. But he never asks, ‘For whom do I toil and deprive myself of good?’ This also is vanity and a grave misfortune” (Ecclesiastes 4:8).

My life has a way of filling itself up. Bouncing from one cycle of business to another can be all to easy in our fast-paced, work-glorifying culture. If we don’t take time to enjoy now before the “days of trouble come” (Ecclesiastes 12:1), we may let the sweetest seasons of our life pass us by.

Conclusion

Years come and resolutions go. We may not accomplish all we set out to in this shiny new year of 2023. But if we make time for our loved ones and share a couple laughs along the way, we may have just stumbled upon what we should have resolved to do anyway.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

(Ecclesiastes 3:1)

The Business of a Dream

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Each year in America, we reserve a day in January to commemorate the life and sacrifice of Martin Luther King Jr. The gifted orator and civil rights activist’s most famous work may be his “I Have a Dream” speech. In that sixteen minute address, King powerfully challenged a multitude of bigoted adults and confidently prophesied over his little children about a glorious future he wanted them to inherit.

The Past of a Dream

A framed photograph of King raising his hand to 200,000 dreamers on that sweltering summer day rests above my mantle. It reminds me of that historic moment every time I enter my apartment. Yet therein lies the problem. The 1950s and ‘60s were not home to the Civil Rights Moment but the Civil Rights Movement. King’s dream was not realized by a moment in time but a lifetime of sacrifice and struggle.

King Solomon once said, “A dream comes with much business and painful effort” (Ecclesiastes 5:3 AMPC). Before MLK met with Lyndon B. Johnson, accepted the Nobel Peace Prize, and was named “Man of the Year” by Time Magazine, he was arrested, stabbed, and bombed. Years of academic and clerical study preceded his legendary letters and sonorous speeches. King’s blood, sweat, and tears formed the sunbaked road that we now trudge upon as African Americans in an integrated nation.

The Future of a Dream

So, as we look to the pursuit of justice here today, we too must remember that dreams are founded on movements, not moments. A single day in January is not enough to honor this man who’s life was cut off before he reached middle age. Black history month in February is not enough to reconcile centuries of systematically erased heritage. We must be about justice every month–every day–if we seek to actualize the vision that Martin Luther King Jr. thundered forth from our nation’s capital sixty years ago. And there is no organization in this country more responsible for spearheading this charge than the church.

The Dreaming Church

Speaking about the American church of the 1900s, Martin Luther King Jr. delivered a bone-chilling condemnation that rings eerily true today. He spoke of his “disappointment with the Christian church that appears to be more white than Christian.” And in his “Letter from Birmingham Jail”, he wrote, “In the midst of a mighty struggle to rid our nation of racial and economic injustice, I have heard so many ministers say, ‘Those are social issues which the gospel has nothing to do with,’ and I have watched so many churches commit themselves to a completely otherworldly religion which made a strange distinction between bodies and souls, the sacred and the secular.” The threat that the church “will lose its authentic ring, forfeit the loyalty of millions, and be dismissed as an irrelevant social club with no meaning for the [current] century” has become a tragic reality for many today.

Conclusion

And so the church of Christ stands at a critical juncture. Will it settle for moments, or will it strive for movements?  Will it continue to descend into the realm of irrelevance, or will it rise to the challenge of justice? Will it remain asleep to the dream of Martin Luther King Jr., or will it wake up to its calling for this generation? Because if we want to fulfill this dream, we have a lot of business to do.

“Pursue justice, and justice alone, so that you may live, and you may possess the land that the LORD your God is giving you.”

(Deuteronomy 16:20)

https://open.spotify.com/track/0vo4Ls8OV3D85CvkXiJKlO?si=0e17afa185d04102