By Ife J. Ibitayo
Less than three months have passed since I moved to Los Angeles. But I’m already feeling the pressure creep onto my shoulder like the long, blackened fingernails from the worst horror movie you’ve ever seen. “You should lead this.” “You must join that.” “Everyone else is doing it.” Every “yes” I utter fills my future with obligations I never wanted to commit to. And every “no” engulfs me in the all too familiar fear of missing out. Is being damned if you do and damned if you don’t the only two options for the fledgling college student? Is there any way to overcome the pressure?
The Conflict
Firstly, societal pressure arises from the conflict between our own desires and those of others for us. To face this pressure head on, we must determine where the conflict is coming from: comfort vs. discomfort, fear vs. faith, or good vs. evil.
A lot of pressure comes simply from being pushed outside of our comfort zone. Joining a new club or flying to a new country are not inherently evil. But they may require us to stretch ourselves. We have to trust others’ words rather than our gut sense that pickleball or a pickle sandwich are really bad ideas.
Or our fear may arise from deep-seated wisdom within us. For instance, if we don’t want to go to a club where we may run into our ex, we may not be “overthinking it.” And wanting to leave early before we drink too much may be the best decision we can make. Knowing why we feel so conflicted is critical for us to decide whether to give in to the pressure or resist it with all our might.
The Advisers
Secondly, we have to choose not only what we’re pressured into doing but who we let pressure us in the first place. Truly no man is an island, and we are often our own worst advisers. The book of Proverbs is filled with advice about seeking advice (Proverbs 11:14, Proverbs 12:15, Proverbs 15:22, etc.) because we need other people’s inputs in our lives. But we must know our advisers have our best interests at heart before we allow them to influence our choices.
The Foundation
Lastly, we must have a solid foundation if we want to effectively resist societal pressure. Jesus said, “Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock” (Matthew 27:24-25).
Everyone will face pressure in this life. But if we don’t have our own sense of identity and purpose, we’re bound to be carried along by the whims of others. We must have a north star, a focal point we orient our lives around, if we don’t want to be swept away by the current of this fast-moving world.
“Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety.”
(Proverbs 29:25)