By Ife J. Ibitayo
I believe there is a third often overlooked aspect of prayer. Beyond changing things outside of us (Pt. 1) and changing things inside of us (Pt. 2), prayer ushers into the presence of God. It can be easy to reduce God to a divine slot machine. If we toggle enough levers and press enough buttons, our will will be done on earth as we expect it will be in heaven. Or we can relegate Him to a glorified mentor or life coach. But God wants deeper relationship than that: He wants to be our Friend, our Father, and our Husband.
Our Friend
We as humans possess a deep, profound need for friendship. That is why God said to Adam, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). But just like our predecessor, as soon as our horizontal need for friendship is fulfilled, we often neglect our analogous vertical need for friendship (Genesis 3). A true friend is someone with whom you connect for the sake of connection. In other words, the relationship itself is the end you are seeking when you spend time with that other person.
Many evenings I find myself coming to God with a long list of topics I want to run through: the state of our nation, difficulties in my family, looming deadlines at work, and many more. But I often sense that He doesn’t need me to repeat those prayers to Him again–He already knows my concerns before I pray them anyway (Matthew 6:8). Rather, He just wants to sit with me. He wants me to focus on being with Him rather than getting from Him.
Our Father
Secondly, God wants us to relate to Him as our heavenly Father rather than our overbearing boss. I’ve been reading the book of Romans recently, and I’m struck by the distinction between wages and grace. Romans 4:4-5 says, “When people work, their wages are not a gift, but something they have earned. But people are counted as righteous, not because of their work, but because of their faith in God who forgives sinners.” Similarly, an employee is hired based on their potential to add value to a company, and their continued employment is dependent on their performance. But a son is a son because they are a son. On my best days and on my worst, I am still God’s baby boy.
I often find myself tempted to perform when I come to God in prayer. I want to say the right words and quote the right verses and sing the right songs. But God does not care. When I enter His presence, He sets aside His gavel of judgment and spreads wide His royal robes, so I can hop in His lap. And He happily welcomes me when I’m pure and pious or when I’m dirty and broken.
Our Husband
Lastly, God wants to be our Husband. I think this is an oft neglected aspect of our relationship with God, deemed too intimate for many and too uncomfortable for men. But God’s marriage to us is a powerful analogy for His deep and abiding love for us. In Isaiah 54:5, God says, “‘Your Maker is your Husband,’” which intimately reminds us that God not only made us, He also chose us specifically as the objects of His affections. And He will continue to woo us with a forever love (Jeremiah 31:3).
When I enter God’s presence, He delights in me more than any doe-eyed newlywed. When I go on a date with God, all my bad jokes are funny and my quirky remarks are insightful. God desires to spend time with me far more than I with Him because He is such a good Husband!
Conclusion
When I pray, I enter into the presence of my best Friend, my loving Father, and my doting Husband. Through prayer I find my identity as a beloved son and bride. And so I love prayer, and through prayer I embrace how much God loves me.
“One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.”
(Psalm 27:4)