social media Archives - Being Me, Myself.

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Tobi had promised me it’d be easy. Log on to Instagram. Spend a few hours scrolling through posts until you find a handful of illustrators you like. Fire off some DMs. And when one finally responds, you have yourself a comic book artist. But the reality was not nearly as seamless as he made it sound.

The hours crawled by as I tried every hashtag I could muster to find the right artist to partner with. #christiancomicbookartist #christianillustration #historicalgraphicnovels #helpme

If it wasn’t one problem, it would be another. They wouldn’t possess the right style. Or they wouldn’t accept commissions. Or they had experience with every medium under the sun except comic books. And if ever the stars aligned so that all of these previous boxes were actually checked off, they’d ghost me like the Phantom of the Opera.

Instagram Comic Artist Scrolling Session — A typical afternoon Instagram scrolling session.
Source: Instagram; Credit: Ife J. Ibitayo

The Coup de Grace for Instagram

I remember one particularly discouraging interaction I had with a fellow I’ll call Matthew. On one of my seemingly endless Instagram scrolling sessions, I stumbled across his artwork, and I instantly felt a connection. He’d drawn a scene of David transitioning from meager shepherd boy to powerful warrior king. It was vibrant and colorful comic book style with clear Christian undertones. Then I clicked on to his Instagram page and found an up-to-date website with contact information. And when I filled out the form, he responded within twenty-four hours.

I felt like I had just won the lottery! We set up a phone call and bonded over a shared vision. Then I sent him a non-disclosure agreement and payment terms, excited to embark on a new journey together in 2023. But he vanished like smoke. Weeks passed, and my emails remained unanswered. It was like calling out into the void. I was back to square one.

Conclusion

Entering the new year empty handed, I knew I’d have to change tactics. Social media wasn’t the answer for me, but I was praying something else would be.

While attending LA Comic Con the previous month, I’d spent a few minutes chatting with an amazing independent comic book creator. He was a writer, like me, without an ounce of drawing capability in his body. And he practically gushed over his experience forming a team of artists to work with using an online freelance marketplace called Upwork. So I decided that that would be my next pit stop.

My first, but definitely not my last, trip to LA Comic Con.

By Ife J. Ibitayo

After years of awkward conversations surrounding the question, “What’s your Instagram handle?” I finally setup my own account: @ifethestoryteller. I consider myself an old soul in the worst of senses. I’ve cracked Dad jokes since I was a teenager. My father is the one who’s always pushed me to adopt new technology (Apple should start paying him a commission). And I don’t understand social media. When I asked my friends, “How do you Instagram?” they struggled to reply. It was like asking them how to ride a bike or when an old man at Chick-fil-A asked me how text messages work. Apparently, millennials hold this truth to be self-evident: “All men are created equal and are endowed with the unalienable right to share every detail of their lives with the world.”

To Share or Not To Share

This past weekend, I finally finished putting together my apartment. I hung my last painting and unpacked my last box. And I strongly considered posting some pictures of my place on my Instagram account. But I hesitated. With just a few seconds of consideration, I realized how much others could learn about me from those couple pictures. From the quality of his furniture to the painting he hangs above his mantle, you can learn a lot about a man from his living room. And I wasn’t quite ready to share that with anyone who stumbled on my Instagram account. This raised a couple important questions for me, “Why do we share?” and “who should we share with?”

The Benefits of Sharing on Social Media

To share is human. The primary reason God transformed man into mankind is because “it’s not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). We need others to relate with, engage with, and do life with. Even the staunchest introvert in the world needs friendship. So steps in social media.

Facebook’s mission statement is “to give people the power to share and make the world more open and connected.” And in many ways, it’s achieved its mission. I have cousins I haven’t seen in person in years, but I know about their marriages, new jobs, and firstborn children. Social media has provided countless touchstones for me to keep up with the going-ons of people I care about (and others I frankly don’t)!

The Limitations of Sharing on Social Media

But at the same time, I’ve found social media to be like a mirage. It gives the impression of knowing others and the facsimile of being known, but only on the terms others dictate and only through the filter I apply.

If my mother only knows as much about me as JonDoe3 who follows me on Instagram, we have a problem. There is so much I don’t share online. In me “there are multitudes”, warring contradictions I siphon out of my neatly labeled posts and reels.

There are certain feelings that can only be shared in person and only with a select few people. All too often, that group can shrink to none. Trust takes time to build. It also takes proximity. There is healing that comments and likes can never give me. That is why I can only be so committed to my Instagram feed. For me to know others and truly be known by them requires coffee breaks, dinners, and weekend getaways. It requires a level of commitment that social media will never demand yet offers a level of reward that social media can’t provide.

Conclusion

So every time I post, I have to ask myself, “Is sharing caring?” If the world doesn’t care about my latest failure, do I have friends that do? And is Instagram the best way to let them know? As I finish this post, I think it’s time for me to shut down my laptop and pick up my cellphone.

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

(Hebrews 10:24-25)