By Ife J. Ibitayo
Late last week I received an early birthday present from my parents. Reading their kind note interrupted my whirling dervish of a life. It was like someone tapped me on the shoulder in the middle of my juggling routine. The ball of quitting my job, the ball of securing my new apartment, the ball of shipping my car, the ball of moving out of my apartment, and many others came crashing to the ground as I remembered: “Oh, yeah, my birthday is next Monday, isn’t it?”
Goodbye Engineering
I’ve been struggling to unravel the complex web of emotions tangled up in my heart. Last Friday, I handed in my badge, laptop, and all the other things I’d accumulated over the last three years working at Aurora Flight Sciences. As I sat in the lobby waiting for my Uber to arrive, I felt like a spinning gear that’d been violently disconnected from the rest of the train. I was still revved up in my mind, but I was accomplishing nothing. That day I realized that I am no longer an engineer, and I may never be one again.
Goodbye Friends
I also shared many, many, many meals with loved ones in the area. Each meal was a bittersweet mix of joy and sorrow. As I sat on my air mattress hours before my friends and I went out to celebrate one last time, I wondered how quickly they will move on without me. Will I be able to do the same? Will I carry them in my heart, or will our love and laughs be covered by the sands of time? I carried this emotional baggage with me as I flew home to celebrate the 4th of July with my family.
Conclusion
A rough paraphrase of Matthew 11:28 (based on the Greek) is, “Come to me all you who are worn out and loaded down, and I will give you a much-needed break.” Whenever I find myself wallowing in my thoughts—critical of the past and pensive about the future, I know I need a break. I need to go to the movies, stop counting calories, and hit the snooze button a couple extra times. I need to put down my unfinished pile of work and pick up my unfinished pile of video games. I need to stop running and start resting. That’s why Jesus says I must take “His yoke upon me and learn from Him” (Matthew 11:29). I can’t take up His yoke unless I let go of my own.
So last week I finally gave myself permission to rev down, unwind, and relax. I played the games, watched the shows, and shopped the stores. As is true for all of us, life goes on, new challenges await, and the journey isn’t over. So this birthday, I don’t just whisper a tearful goodbye but also a hopeful, hesitant hello.
“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plan and a time to uproot.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-2)