Tag: remembrance

Death, Taxes, and Setbacks

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Benjamin Franklin famously claimed there are only two certainties in life—death and taxes. But I’d like to posit one more: setbacks. And put simply, setbacks suck. They suck the joy out of our day, the wind out of our sails, and the life out of our bodies. When our company lays us off or our girlfriend suggests we “take a break” or our long-awaited callback never comes, we can be driven to despair. With tears streaming down our faces, we may ask, “God, where are you?”

Death

My most recent setback made me think of the story of Lazarus. This man was one of Jesus’ closest friends when He walked here on this earth. But when his sisters, Mary and Martha, told Him “the one whom He loved was sick” (John 11:3), He waited, He lingered, and He delayed. By the time He arrived on the scene, the man was already dead.

Martha confronted Jesus and cried, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.” In response, Jesus said, “Your brother will rise again.” And Martha replied, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day” (John 11:21-24). In other words, “Eventually, You will make this right.”

God tells us that He is in control. He was at the beginning, and He knows the ending. And Romans 8:28 says that “all things work together for the good of those who love Him.” But often it can be all too tempting to hedge this promise with the word “eventually”.

Taxes

It’s kind of like when the IRS takes too much money out of our paycheck so they make it up to us in our tax return the following year. Similarly, some of us might believe God has written us an eternal IOU–to be paid after we die. Maybe after this life, in the sum balance of things, we will appreciate this point of pain. But at this moment, it feels like God has forgotten that we’re still among the living.

But Jesus challenged Martha to enter into an even deeper level of faith by telling her “I am the resurrection and the life” (John 11:25). Then He asked her to roll away the stone where Lazarus’s body was laid. In other words, He was asking her to have faith not just for the ending somewhere out there but also for the middle right here and now.

Life Beyond Setbacks

God is a God of detail. The Old Testament is full of chapter upon chapter detailing the minutia of God’s dwelling places here on earth, the garments of His earthly priests, and the hundreds of ceremonial laws God had in place for the Jewish people. And this detail extends to us. When Jesus said that “even the very hairs of our heads are all numbered,” (Matthew 10:30), He was not pointing out an OCD fixation of the godhead. He was demonstrating that God cares about the details even we tend to overlook.

The same applies to God’s plans for our lives. God told the prophet Jeremiah, “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). God knew about that bombed interview, accounted for that failed exam, and prepared for that missed flight long before we even existed. Our moments of misfortune cannot negate the unfailing promises God has in store for us, or else He’d cease to be God.

Remind, Rely, and Rejoice

So, what do we do in the midst of setbacks? We remind, rely, and rejoice.

First, we remind ourselves of God’s faithfulness in the past because we will forget. Our brains have a well-known tendency to deeply imprint negative experiences and neglect positive ones called negativity bias. Therefore, we must actively work to call to mind those moments in the past when God came through for us.

Secondly, we must rely on God to guide us past our setbacks. One of my favorite verses in all of Scripture comes from the book of 1 Kings. In the middle of a war between the Israelites and a fierce rival of theirs at that time called the Arameans, God said, “Because the Arameans think the Lord is a god of the hills and not of the valleys, I will deliver all this great army into your hand” (1 Kings 20:28). Sometimes we fall into this same fallacy. We claim God’s provision in our triumphs but we neglect His grace in our setbacks. God is with us both on the hills and in the valleys.

And lastly, but possibly most important of all, we must rejoice during our difficulties. The gospel singer Marvin Sapp has a song called “Praise Him in Advance” that begins with these words:

I’ve had my share of ups and downs,

Times when there was no one around,

God came and spoke these words to me,

Praise will confuse the enemy.

It confuses the enemy because most of us tend to base our happiness on our present circumstances. If times are good, we praise God, but when they’re bad, we doubt Him. But thanksgiving has the power to turn our focus from our problems and our pain to God’s power and God’s plan.

Conclusion

Setbacks may be inevitable but so is the Lord’s provision. The Word says, “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand” (Psalm 37:23-24). Our heavenly Father gives us permission to admit we may not be quite perfect yet. We can confidently trip our way through life because He’s holding us up. He’s been holding our hand from the day we were born, and He will continue to do so until the day we die.

“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
(Deuteronomy 31:8)

Letters for a Marine Recruit

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Thirteen weeks of the most grueling combat training man has ever concocted. Three mortifying months without Wi-Fi or Chick-Fil-A for comfort. That is what my friend signed up for when he shipped out to marine basic training last month. Shortly after he left, I received a Facebook message from his wife asking if I’d write him. As I penned my thoughts down on a sheet of paper, I reflected on the value of my scribbles. Why is such a simple act of connection so important for those enduring grueling circumstances?

I Have Not Forgotten You

First, when we connect with those in pain, we let them know, “I have not forgotten you.” Hebrews 13:3 says, “Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.” When one is isolated from others for a good reason (like military training) or a bad one (like incarceration), loneliness is bound to follow. But when we take the time to connect with such people, we affirm that their lives matter. They are not forgotten on the outside, and there are people who are still rooting for them there.

I Identify with You

Secondly, when we connect with those who are suffering, we let them know, “I identify with you.” Sympathy is surprisingly costly. When my life is going peacefully, I don’t want to struggle with those who are battling. But that is what it means to be family. Speaking of the church of Christ as one body, Apostle Paul said, “If one member suffers, all the members suffer together” (1 Corinthians 12:26). We must be willing to enter “boot camp” with them in a sense, shouldering their burdens and sharing in their highs and their lows.

I Love You

Lastly, when we connect with those who are laboring, we let them know, “I love you.” Love is not squishy sentimentality. It is a costly willingness to sacrifice on another’s behalf for their good. As Apostle James said, “If one of you says to your brother or sister without food and clothing, ‘Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is that” (James 5:16)? Similarly, if we say we love our friends and family members, but that does not translate into the willingness to visit them, call them, or even mail them, we may need to reconsider our definition of love.

Conclusion

As I mailed my letter out earlier this week, I didn’t know how my friend would receive it. Would it make his day? Would he even be able to read my messy handwriting? I didn’t know. But I do know I’ll keep on writing him until he returns home safely.

“I thank God, whom I serve with a clear conscience as did my forefathers, as I constantly remember you night and day in my prayers.”
(2 Timothy 1:3)

I Thank God for the Memories (I Thank God For… Pt. 3)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For Part 1, “I Thank God for Gratitude”, click here. For Part 2, “I Thank God for His Promises,” click here.

Psalm 103:2 begins with, “Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits.” As I reflect on this psalm as we near the end of this year, its words resonate in the depths of my inner man. Many people called 2020 “the year that took our breath away,” but for me that was 2022. Some of the highest highs and lowest lows I’ve experienced in a long time occurred during this past year.

Lowest Lows

“Who heals all your diseases” (Psalm 103:3). There are few things in life as terrifying as a false positive. When I was told at a routine checkup in May that I “might have had a heart attack,” only the word of God sustained me through that stressful week. Just as God preserved King Hezekiah on his deathbed (Isaiah 38:1-5), God’s word held me together as I spiraled under the hold of a terrifying diagnosis.

“Who redeems your life from destruction” (Psalm 103:4a). Well, there might be one thing more terrifying than a false positive: an SUV u-turning out of traffic and barreling toward you on the sidewalk. My feet were glued to the ground as my brain struggled to process what my eyes were seeing. But a voice in the back of my head cried, “Move!” and I leapt out of the way right before the vehicle flattened a yield sign and crashed into a tree. For weeks, anxiety swirled within me as I walked around my neighborhood. But the God who’s protected me for all my years before promised to continue protecting me now. And I knew I could trust in Him.

Highest Highs

“Who crowns you with love and compassion” (Psalm 103:5a). In the midst of the many difficult moments this past year, I found God trustworthy. Even when I was stressing over small things, God proved loving and compassionate. One day, I found out that the mover I had selected to transport my stuff across the country was untrustworthy. But after several hours of scouring the internet, I had no alternative plan. So I went for a walk to pray, and I saw the moving truck for a company I had never heard of. When I researched them, they turned out to be a perfect fit, and they transported my belongings seamlessly.

“Who satisfies your desires with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s” (Psalm 103:5b). Since moving to Los Angeles, I’ve been blown away by God’s tremendous hand of blessing upon my life. Wonderful people have entered my journey at every step. I have classmates to celebrate with, believers to fellowship alongside, and a family to call home even when I’m a thousand miles from Houston. I never expected the food, fun, and laughs that I’ve found in this new city. And each new day I find myself waking up wondering if I’m still dreaming.

Conclusion

Memories are pictures etched in the photo album of our minds that we can flip back to in the years to come. I’m sure they will grey and grow fuzzy with time, but I’m positive that I will soon turn back to 2022 and thank God for the memories.

“I remember the days of old. I ponder all your great works and think about what you have done.”

(1 Chronicles 16:12)