Tag: progress

In Pursuit of Decency

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Last week, I played my first pickup game of five-on-five basketball in three years! I made a third of our team’s points on roughly 50% field goal percentage with a handful of assists to boot. But I was also a defensive sieve and poor rebounder. So overall my performance was decent. But my path to decency was a long one.

Back in high school, I remember one day when I was shooting free throws through everything except the hoop. The assistant head coach walked up to me and said, “You can quit right now and come back for track season.” But I didn’t quit that day; I kept on clanking.

Now the value of practice doesn’t just apply to hobbies like basketball; it applies to everything in life. 1 Timothy 4:11 says, “Physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” So, if there is anything that we should want to train in, it should be loving God and loving others better. We all recognize this truth deep inside our bones. We want to be a more thoughtful friend or a more sympathetic spouse, but we don’t know where to start.

Start Small

But starting itself is often the most important task to reaching our destination. The Chinese Proverb “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” isn’t just a pithy statement, it is an undeniable fact. A fraying marriage won’t be mended over night. But one of the first patches can be saying “I love you” before you go to bed each evening. Your teenager won’t magically open up to you if you take five extra minutes to listen to them when you pick them up from school. But you’ll be astounded at what amazing bounds can arise from such seemingly small baby steps.

Don’t Give Up

But in a similar vein, if you don’t see the progress you’re hoping for yet, don’t give up. Because we live in an instant culture, we often want instant results. But one day (or even a month) of good practice often won’t be enough to reverse the course of years of bad habits That is why the apostle James mentioned how the farmer has to wait for both the autumn and the spring rain before the land yields its harvest (James 5:7). Similarly, we have to wait for God to water the seed we’ve planted and give it time to germinate before we receive the harvest we’re hoping for in our lives.

Conclusion

Lastly, forgive yourself when you misstep. We all know the saying, “No one’s perfect.” Yet sometimes we live as if we expect ourselves to be! If you continue to step forward, week by week, month by month, year by year, I’m positive that you too will achieve decency in the areas of life you’re pursuing. And with the help of God, you might just reach excellence.

“All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.”

(1 Corinthians 9:25)

Where I Am

By Ife J. Ibitayo

When I approached my laptop to start this article, I had no idea what I’d write about. I spent some time scrolling back through the articles I’ve written over the past several months, and I was surprised to see just how many of them were written in the spur of the moment. For some writers, this may be fairly normal, but it isn’t for me.

Where I Came From

When I first started this blog a little over two years ago, I was struggling with crippling anxiety. The only thing that calmed my fears was clarity. Knowing what tomorrow held was the answer to my fears today.

That terrible fear of the unknown seeped into every inch of my life: what work I’d finish on the job tomorrow, where I’d be going this coming weekend, and even what article I’d be writing next week. If any space in my life became even slightly murky, panic would surge up like a roaring wave and threaten to drown my peace of mind.

Where I Was Going

But slowly something began to change. Week after week, month after month, fresh idea or no idea, I’d approach this computer screen, and I was forced to trust that God had a plan and a purpose for my fingers that morning. And every day I’d walk away with something I could stamp my seal of approval on. My writings will never be engraved in the annals of man as the greatest blog posts in history. But they have been an authentic and raw exploration of the traumas of my past, my struggles in the present, and my fears for the future.

I still remember when God first laid this blog on my heart. A month had passed since we’d received the decree that “thou shalt work from home indefinitely.” I had more time on my hands than I’d had in years. I spent many hours thinking through my pain, frustration, and grief, and I knew that the only path forward was to write my thoughts down. But then I felt led to publish my diary before the eyes of the world, to place my private musings where everyone else could read them. And I was petrified. But God ministered to my heart that the healing He was devising for me was not just for me. There would be many hurting people who’d read my words and receive the same grace I needed.

Where I Am

Through this blog I’ve learned so much about my own brokenness: my insecurity, my need for affirmation, my predisposition to please people. But I’ve also seen the faithful hand of my heavenly Father through the years. I survived undergrad and grad school, my first job and my first pandemic, true love and genuine heartbreak. I enjoy life at a deeper level now than I could while trapped in the labyrinth of my unprocessed emotions. And I know a key part of that has been untangling my thoughts before all of you who’ve read my words over the years.

When next week comes, I again might have no idea what I’m going to write about. I might not know what work holds for me tomorrow or what God has planned for my future. But I’ve come to trust—just a little better—that God is penning a story that I can’t wait to read in my life and surely in yours as well.

“Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink, He will still be with you to teach you. You will see your teacher with your own eyes. Your own ears will hear Him. Right behind you a voice will say, ‘This is the way you should go,’ whether to the right or to the left.”

(Isaiah 30:20-21)

5th Time’s the Charm (My Embarrassing Life Pt. 1)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Passing the driving test is a right of passage for many people across the world. In the United States, over half of test takers pass on their first try. I was not one of those people.

On my first attempt, I backed my dad’s Toyota Highlander into a parallel parking pole. My next time up, my early fumbles so frustrated my tester that after a couple right turns, she asked me to pull over. On my third try, I finally managed to exit the DMV, but I frightened my tester so much that she asked me to turn around. My fourth try, I made it through the entire course and received a 69 on my test, one point shy of the cutoff limit.

Be Vulnerable

After my first couple of tries, I was pretty confident that my failures were mere bumps on the road, but after my third attempt, I wasn’t so certain anymore.

The following Wednesday, I told a prayer partner about my dilemma and asked him to intercede with God on my behalf. He snickered as he prayed for me, and I did not pass my driving test the next time I took it, but this moment of vulnerability was an important turning point for me.

In our Photoshop-ed world of social media, we’ve been seduced by the illusion of the #perfectlife. We are so bombarded by posts and tweets of everyone else’s promotions, happy married lives, and angelic children that we can forget they are just as broken as we are. The apostle James said, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results” (James 5:16 NLT).

The first step forward for must of us will be a step down. We must be willing to climb off our pedestals of whitewashed impeccability to make real breakthroughs in this life.

Appreciate Progress

I never once celebrated after failing my driving test. Of course, that is perfectly natural. Most normal people don’t celebrate mediocrity; we lament it. But I never stopped to realize how promising the trend in my driving life was. On my first try, I failed in one minute. On my last try, I failed by one point. Even if I hadn’t arrived, I should have at least seen that I was getting closer to my destination.

Zechariah 4:10 (NLT) says, “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.” We should always strive for the gold in everything we do in life, but we should still thank God for the Honorable Mentions.

Don’t Give Up

I was distraught after my fourth driving test failure. I had given the test my best shot, and I was done putting myself through this ordeal: Clearing my schedule, waking up early, and subjecting myself to the scrutiny of a testy stranger. But if I had given up then, I would never had been able to drive myself to work, church, or my cousin’s baby dedication.

On my fifth try, a white-haired gentleman accompanied me. I nervously drove through the course, powered the car down, and waited for him to tally up my score. When he finished, he turned to me and said wearily, “You passed.” In fact, I received a 90!

Conclusion

I would never repeat that experience again, but that frustrating season served a critical function in my life. It cured me of a bit of my sense of entitlement. It taught me the importance of opening up to others. And I uniquely appreciate the privilege of driving down the interstate at 60 miles an hour.

“You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.”

(Hebrews 10:36 NIV)