life Archives - Being Me, Myself.

Life in the Light of Death

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Unfortunately, I’ve lived long enough to have my share fair of brushes with death. One particularly vivid near-death experience happened the day after I was accepted into graduate school. I went for a walk in my neighborhood. I suddenly heard a crack! of metal crashing past metal, and I turned around just in time to see a SUV barreling toward me. I leaped out of the way at the last second. The car flew past me, flattened a yield sign, then crashed into a tree. In a daze, I registered, I could have died.

Death is Lurking

In the Bible, Jesus tells a parable about a wealthy business owner. His business was so successful that his greatest difficulty in life was figuring out how to store all his earnings (Luke 12:16-19). But God suddenly appeared to the man and said, “‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself’” (Luke 12:20)?

This is a haunting question. Most of us live as if we have an eternity left here on this earth, but death is always lurking in the background, a specter that could sneak up on us at any moment. When it does what will become of everything we worked so hard to earn?

Life is Short

We all know that our trophies, accolades, promotions, and investments will perish as soon as we hit the dirt, yet we pursue them anyway because we live with the illusion of time. “I can see my grandparents next month.” “We can go on date night next weekend.” “I can tuck my kids in tomorrow.” While we rack up the Benjamins today. But tomorrow won’t always come. Life will be far shorter than most of us anticipate.

Death Encourages Life

So what then? If life is short, is it meaningless? Does death nullify the point of our existence? No, it’s quite the opposite. The Bible exhorts us: “Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a cheerful heart, for God has already approved your works: Let your garments always be white, and never spare the oil for your head. Enjoy life with your beloved wife all the days of the fleeting life that God has given you under the sun…for this is your portion in life and in your labor under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 9:7-9). Ironically, death does not erase life but encourages us to make the most of it.

“Behold, what I have seen to be good and fitting is to eat and drink and find enjoyment in all the toil with which one toils under the sun the few days of his life that God has given him, for this is his lot.”

(Ecclesiastes 5:18)

The Religion of the Wet Towel

Ife J. Ibitayo

“I recommend having fun because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life.” Where is this quote from? Good Morning America? A famous actor like Ryan Reynolds or Adam Sandler? You might be surprised to learn that this is a verse in the Bible.

Which begs the question, why is this so surprising? How was Christianity rebranded as the Religion of the Wet Towel? When did the faith that is supposed to bring “abundant life” become such a killjoy?

The Origin of the Wet Towel

It didn’t start with Jesus. In the book of Luke, Jesus described the words of His naysayers in this way: “The Son of Man feasts and drinks and you say, ‘He’s a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners’” (Luke 7:34). Jesus spent so much time partying and enjoying Himself that the religious establishment thought He should have less fun, not more. Time and time again, Jesus railed against the stodgy buzzkills of His day because they deprived people of the joy God had called for them to obtain. Yet, over the course of time, Jesus’ church has come to be known for the opposite. In its pursuit of holiness, many in the church have lost happiness along the way.

The Consequences of the Wet Towel

Too often, Christianity is portrayed as a religion of “don’ts.” Don’t curse, don’t drink, don’t sleep around. No more partying, gambling, or fun for you. Then, there’s all the stuff you need to do instead like giving up 10% of your hard-earned income. Do all the right things and don’t do all the wrong things, then you will be accepted into God’s family.

I was once part of a Christian organization that embodied this rigid, rule-based system. If we weren’t serving, we were evangelizing. If we weren’t evangelizing, we were studying the Bible. If we weren’t studying the Bible, we were hanging out together—by force. And if I ever missed a church event, woe to me for having chosen the movies over Jesus. I nearly suffered a nervous breakdown trying to do everything right at all times in every way, and I definitely was not having much fun. But Christianity was never supposed to be this way.

The book of Colossians says, “’Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!’ Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility, and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence” (Colossians 2:21-23). This means the true Christian faith is not about restriction but freedom, relationship rather than regulation. Otherwise, Christianity simply becomes another ladder we climb up to prove yet again that we’re worthy.

The Alternative to the Wet Towel

Our society tries to present us with a false dichotomy: be holy and miserable or happy and sinful. But the way of Christ is both happy and holy. It involves self-sacrifice, but it also entails appreciating the bounty God has blessed us with, living at a different pace than the hamster wheel of our culture, and enjoying time with our friends and family. If we’re not experiencing both, that isn’t Christianity.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. [Jesus] came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

John 10:10

The Love, Loss, and Life of Christmas (What Christmas Gifts Mean to Me Pt. 3)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For “A Gift Worth Waiting For”, click here. For “A Salty Lightbulb”, click here.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). It was tempting to end this article here. For this verse obviously speaks for itself. We’ve all heard it; we all know it; we all get it. Just like the famed holiday itself, a bit of the Christmas magic may have worn off this beautiful passage. But when I stumbled across this verse this week, I was struck anew by its power.

Love

“For God so loved the word…” When defining agape—the word translated in this verse as “love”—Wikipedia couldn’t have described it any better: “a deep and profound sacrificial love that transcends and persists regardless of circumstance.” The core of Christmas is the heart of a Father. When God wrapped up His son in flesh and delivered Him down the chimney of time, He expressed the fullness of His love for us. In Exodus, He shouted, “I love you so much that I will rescue you.” In the temple, He declared, “I love you so much that I will be with you.” In Jesus, He whispered, “I love you so much that I will become you.”

Loss

“…that He gave His one and only Son…” I recently read Mary Beth Chapman’s–Steven Curtis Chapman’s wife–Choosing to See about the death of their kindergarten age daughter. Therein, I saw the visceral destruction that the death of a child wreaks on a family. No parent will willingly part with their child. They will part with their wealth, health, and even their own life before seeing their dear son or daughter suffer. But the Father willingly gave up His Son for us.

As regifting becomes more socially acceptable, we’re growing ever more accustomed to giving gifts that cost us nothing. But the Father is not like us. As the Creator of the universe, He could give us the world quite literally, and it still would have cost Him nothing. But instead, He gave the only thing—the only One—that He could not replace with a snap of His fingers.

Life

“…that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Jesus was born so that we would never die (John 11:25-26). His painful entry into a stinking stable in a fallen world was far more than a stocking stuffer. It changed everything.

And so, as we celebrate Christmas tomorrow, we must look upon this holiday with fresh eyes. Christmas is more than a holiday; it is a “holy day” where we should pause and consider the wonder of the love, the loss, and the life of our risen savior: Jesus Christ.

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”
(Isaiah 9:6)

Remembered Sin or Resurrected Faith (Life After Death Pt. 1)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Death is the last villain–the final boss–in the story of our lives. Death is guaranteed for all of us, but second life is not. Resurrection is as rare as unicorns, so whenever God rescues someone from the dead, He is clearly trying to send us a message.

Remembered Sin

During the middle of a famine, Elijah—the greatest prophet of the Old Testament—was sent to live with a widow. Her son died soon after he arrived. She railed against Elijah, “‘O man of God, what have you done to me? Have you come here to point out my sins and kill my son’” (1 Kings 17:18 NLT)?

God has baked into our bones the knowledge of our own sinfulness. And when tragedy strikes, we often believe that we’re receiving our just deserts. Maybe your parents divorced and you think that if you had only been a better daughter, they might have stayed together. Maybe you have a friend who committed suicide and you wonder if you would have been able to save them if only you had cared enough to call. Maybe you’re sifting through the ruins of your own troubled life and you can’t stop seeing all the little bombs you set—the TNT of immaturity and the C-4 of pride.

This widow knew the darkness of her own heart and believed her day of reckoning had come.

Resurrected Faith

But God had a better word for her. Elijah whisked off the corpse and cried out to the LORD. The prayer of God’s righteous saints has great power while its working (James 5:16): to heal, to restore, and yes, even to raise the dead. Elijah cried out to God, and God reached down to him and restored the life of the boy he was praying over (1 Kings 17:19-22).

When Elijah returned the revived son to his mother, he said, ‘Look, your son is alive!’ Then the woman said to Elijah, ‘Now I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the Lord from your mouth is the truth’” (1 Kings 17:24). The point of the death of the widow’s son was not to emphasize her sinfulness but to strengthen her faith.

Forgotten Miracle

Yet the widow’s son had been on the verge of death once before. A few Bible verses earlier, this same widow had been preparing the last supper for her family. Using the last of the flour in her house, they were going to eat and die (1 Kings 17:12).
But then Elijah showed up on her doorstep and gave her a word from God: “‘“There will always be flour and olive oil left in your containers until the time when the Lord sends rain and the crows grow again”’” (1 Kings 17:14 NLT)!

They were living off this very miracle when the widow’s son fell ill. God’s word had already proven true while the widow’s son was still alive, yet it took his death for her to be fully convinced.

Conclusion

We will be tempted to forget God’s faithfulness from yesterday if tragedy strikes close to home tomorrow. But don’t let the miraculous grow mundane in your life. Don’t let fear override faith. Remember that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8), and every word He speaks is true.

“Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise His holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things He does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!”

(Psalm 103:1-5 NLT)

A Dying Baby, a Dead Baby, and a Living Hope (Tragedies of Hope Pt. 2)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For Part 1 on missing the presence of God, click here.

King David is probably best known for slaying giants. But decades after defeating Goliath, He committed a string of unbelievable sins. He saw a beautiful woman named Bathsheba bathing on her roof, slept with her, impregnated her, murdered her husband, and took her as his wife (2 Samuel 11:1-27)! He successfully shushed his conscious until he was confronted by a prophet named Nathan. David then repented of his sins, but Nathan delivered to him the tragic news: The baby boy born to him by Bathsheba would die. Shortly after Nathan left, the child fell sick (2 Samuel 12:1-15).

A Dying Baby

David immediately “begged God to spare the child.” He “went without food and lay all night on the bare ground” (2 Samuel 12:16 NLT). Despite being the very one who brought this grief upon him, David knew God was the only one who could relieve it. So he turned to Him and Him alone.

This unflagging faith was the story of David’s life. Two decades later, after committing another great sin, he said, “‘I am in great distress. Let us fall into the hand of the LORD, for His mercy is great'” (2 Samuel 24:14 NIV). He humbly and habitually committed himself into the hands of God.

A Dead Baby

But a week later, the little one still perished. When the elders of Israel confessed this catastrophe to him, David responded unusually. He “got up from the ground…went into the house of the LORD and worshiped.” (2 Samuel 12:20 NIV).

The Hebrew word translated “worship” here is shachah: Meaning to bow down or to submit. Ironically, we often only submit to God when He aligns His will with our own: When He blesses us with a promotion or a new car or a fiancé. But genuine submission, true worship, is to live for God even when He takes away the thing we can’t live without.

A Living Hope

When questioned as to why David acted the way he did, he said, “‘While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, “Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.” But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me'” (2 Samuel 12:22-23 NIV). The key phrase in this verse is “I shall go to him”. David believed in a hereafter where he’d be reunited with his dead son, and that living hope gave him the strength to move forward. He never gave up on the LORD’s promises.

Conclusion

After losing their first child, David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and they tried again. They had another son, and this special baby boy was named Solomon (2 Samuel 12:24), the famous wise man who ascended his father’s throne and extended the Israelite empire.

Even if God let’s the precious love of our life die, we can choose to keep on believing in Him. He was our Heavenly Father, the Almighty Creator, and our Risen Savior. And He always will be.

“Since He did not spare even His own Son but gave Him up for us all, won’t He also give us everything else?”

(Romans 8:32 NLT)

“‘Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?'”

(Job 2:10 NLT)