Tag: identity

The Pressure

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Less than three months have passed since I moved to Los Angeles. But I’m already feeling the pressure creep onto my shoulder like the long, blackened fingernails from the worst horror movie you’ve ever seen. “You should lead this.” “You must join that.” “Everyone else is doing it.” Every “yes” I utter fills my future with obligations I never wanted to commit to. And every “no” engulfs me in the all too familiar fear of missing out. Is being damned if you do and damned if you don’t the only two options for the fledgling college student? Is there any way to overcome the pressure?

The Conflict

Firstly, societal pressure arises from the conflict between our own desires and those of others for us. To face this pressure head on, we must determine where the conflict is coming from: comfort vs. discomfort, fear vs. faith, or good vs. evil.

A lot of pressure comes simply from being pushed outside of our comfort zone. Joining a new club or flying to a new country are not inherently evil. But they may require us to stretch ourselves. We have to trust others’ words rather than our gut sense that pickleball or a pickle sandwich are really bad ideas.

Or our fear may arise from deep-seated wisdom within us. For instance, if we don’t want to go to a club where we may run into our ex, we may not be “overthinking it.” And wanting to leave early before we drink too much may be the best decision we can make. Knowing why we feel so conflicted is critical for us to decide whether to give in to the pressure or resist it with all our might.

The Advisers

Secondly, we have to choose not only what we’re pressured into doing but who we let pressure us in the first place. Truly no man is an island, and we are often our own worst advisers. The book of Proverbs is filled with advice about seeking advice (Proverbs 11:14, Proverbs 12:15, Proverbs 15:22, etc.) because we need other people’s inputs in our lives. But we must know our advisers have our best interests at heart before we allow them to influence our choices.

The Foundation

Lastly, we must have a solid foundation if we want to effectively resist societal pressure. Jesus said, “Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock” (Matthew 27:24-25).

Everyone will face pressure in this life. But if we don’t have our own sense of identity and purpose, we’re bound to be carried along by the whims of others. We must have a north star, a focal point we orient our lives around, if we don’t want to be swept away by the current of this fast-moving world.

“Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety.”

(Proverbs 29:25)

The Better Testimony (Returning from Exile Pt. 2)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For Part 1, “Exile Mentality”, click here.

I’m still a young man, yet I’m already haunted by some of my past mistakes. I was a horrible roommate back in college. I’ve had so many snafus with my little brother that it’s a wonder he still (sort of) likes me. And I’ve failed as a leader so many times that I’ve lost count. But while I was mulling over my mistakes, a little-known story from the Bible came to my mind.

Terrible Testimony

After the Israelites returned from exile, a prophet named Zechariah began to receive visions from God. In one of these, he saw Joshua, their high priest, standing before the LORD. He was covered with feces, and Satan stood right beside him, prosecuting him in God’s courtroom (Zechariah 3:1).

Just like Satan, our haters cut us down with hurtful words. A father glowers at his son and mutters, “You really are useless.” A coach snipes at one of her bench players, “You’re always going to be sitting there, so why don’t you just quit?” And that’s just the voices without. The voices within tell us far nastier things. Every voice we hear seams to have a worse message than the last.

Transformative Testimony

But there is one voice that has a far better testimony. God verbally backhanded Satan, declaring, “The Lord rebuke you, Satan! Indeed, the Lord who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you” (Zechariah 3:2)! God silences all the voices that speak against us because He speaks for us. As Apostle Paul said, “If God is for us, who can be against us” (Romans 8:31)! If God, the righteous Judge of all creation, doesn’t condemn us even Satan himself can’t!

Secondly, God doesn’t just silence our enemies, He speaks kind words of encouragement over us. Note that God is the “Lord who has chosen Jerusalem.” Just like God chose Jerusalem as His holy city, He’s chosen us too. We are His adopted children (1 John 3:1) and His beloved bride (Revelation 19:7-8). We are His prized possession and the apple of His eye.

And there’s still more. God doesn’t just change what we’re called, He transforms who we are. God told the heavenly beings standing by the excrement-covered high priest, “Take away his filthy garments and clothe him in pure vestments (Zechariah 3:4).” He trades our rags for riches. He grabs us off the bench and thrusts us into the game. He changes our story.

Conclusion

But in spite of our new identity in Christ, we are free to return to our filthy rags. We’re like dogs licking up their own vomit when we torment ourselves with memories of our past mistakes. Just as God cast our sins and mistakes as far away from us as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12), we must fling away the labels that others put on us. We must remember, daily, who God’s called us to be. We must encourage ourselves with the better word God speaks over us: “my friend, my child, my beloved.”

“The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.”

(Romans 8:15-16)