Tag: humility

The Oil of Pride and the Water of Grace

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Last month, I alluded to a significant financial setback on my journey to launching a business. What if I told you since then God has graciously met my need but my pride nearly aborted the whole process?

Pride is Me-Based

America was built on the myth of self-made men and women. We’ve been conditioned to believe, “With unrelenting intensity and a can-do attitude, the best and brightest can move every mountain all on their own.” I’ve all too often fallen into this trap. But all too often bad timing, bad luck, and my bad habits remind me that I can’t always be the solution to my problems.

Grace is God-Based

In his best-selling book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell argues that the truly exceptional “appear at first blush to lie outside ordinary experience…[but their success] is grounded in a web of advantages and inheritances, some deserved, some not.” In other words, our success will always be contingent on forces beyond our control. Even the Bible affirms this truth: “The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle…And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time” (Ecclesiastes 9:11).

The atheist accept this as randomness, and the spiritual call it destiny. But the believer knows this phenomenon as grace, for even “every roll of the dice is determined by the LORD” (Proverbs 16:33). Grace points to a force beyond our own two hands that ultimately determines the outcomes in our lives. It lifts the weight of responsibility off our shoulders and places it squarely on the LORD’s. This means it also shifts the weight of glory from our crown to His.

Conclusion

Pride and grace are like oil and water; they don’t mix. For God Himself says He “opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6).

The oil of pride is complex. Crude oil is a mixture of hydrocarbons which has no easily written chemical formula. Similarly, pride requires all sorts of explanations to justify its existence.

But the water of grace is simple. Water has only two components: hydrogen and oxygen. Similarly, grace requires only two responses: gratitude and humility. And these two responses can be summed up in two words: Thank you.

“A man’s pride will bring him low, but a humble spirit will obtain honor.”

(Proverbs 29:23)

Setbacks to Glory

By Ife J. Ibitayo

You know that feeling when you’ve been working toward something for months? You’ve been trusting, fasting, praying for it to come through. But that hopeful interview turns into a hopeless disappointment. You “shot your shot,” and you missed.

I’ve nearly drowned in that feeling this past week, a toxic blend of disappointment, bewilderment, and a dash of self-pity. If “all things truly work out for the good of those who love God” (Romans 8:28), what good can be found in yet another setback?

Perseverance

First, it develops perseverance. Two years ago, I shared a little bit about my writing journey. Striving to become a professional writer has been one of the greatest challenges of my life. Much to my father’s chagrin, the only documents I have framed on my wall are not from any of my graduations but from my first publications. But that is because of the power of perseverance. When year after year you receive rejection after rejection, you can either grow bitter or get better.

The Word says, “Let us not grow weary of well doing, for in due season we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9). From Oprah Winfrey to Winston Churchill to Michael Jordan, many of the giants of this past century did not cruise through life on easy mode. But rather, their hard work, determination, and “never-give-up” attitudes led to the acclaim they’ve now rightly earned.

Humility

Secondly, it inculcates humility. Joseph in the Bible has one of the greatest “riches to rags back to riches again” stories of all time. He began his life as a pampered trust fund baby who dreamed that he’d someday rule over the rest of his family. And he had to make sure they all knew it too!

But that “wise” decision led to thirteen years of slavery and imprisonment. The end of Joseph’s time in prison was punctuated by another dream. And because of it, he was led into the royal halls of the preeminent empire of his time to speak to the most powerful figure in the world. And when Pharaoh, king of Egypt, asked Joseph to interpret the strange dream he had, Joseph’s first words were, “‘I cannot. But God will give Pharaoh the answer he desires’” (Genesis 41:16).

Setbacks are often the only force powerful enough to remind us of our limitations. In American culture, we are taught from day one that we are special. Our straight A’s, scholarships, raises, and promotions all attest to our singular genius.

But when we are passed over, delayed, or rejected, we’re forced to look within and take stock of our weaknesses. And we’re reminded of the grace of God that has carried us thus far.

Conclusion

When naming this article, I realized that some might misunderstand “Setbacks to Glory” as obstacles that impede our journey to greatness. But it’s quite the opposite. Setbacks are rungs on the ladder of distinction. By callousing our fingers and deflating our egos, setbacks accelerate us toward success. The question is: Will we let them set us off course from our God-given vision or set us up for the triumph to come?

“We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that sufferings produce perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

(Romans 5:3-4)

Inbounding the Buzzer Beater

By Ife J. Ibitayo

It was the last game of the season. We were down by one point, and there were only a few seconds left on the clock. The referee gave me the go-ahead, and I inbounded the ball to Jorge, our up-and-coming shooting guard. As the dying moments of the game ticked away, he sprinted down the court, drove to his right, and tossed a wild shot in the general direction of the basketball hoop. It rattled around the rim and miraculously dropped in! The buzzer sounded, and we won the last game of my short and not so illustrious basketball career.

I still vividly remember the excitement of that moment. Our team attempted to carry Jorge on their back but nearly dropped him. And I beamed at my father who had made a surprise appearance to watch me play.

On the drive home, my dad complimented me by saying, “The way you play reminds me of Dennis Rodman,” the rainbow-haired power forward who won three rings with Michael Jordan. “You didn’t score much, but you proved yourself so useful they kept you on the floor for the final minutes of the game.” I didn’t know whether to be deeply offended or greatly encouraged!

The Basketball Game of Life

Since then, I’ve lived through many quarters of the basketball game of life. I’ve spent several long hours sitting on the sidelines. I’ve been begging week after week for the Coach to put me in. Now must be the opportune season. Now must be my time to shine. And sure enough, He’s heeded my request.

In a few months, I’ll be jet-setting across the country and beginning the greatest adventure of my life. I’m standing on the sidelines excitedly waiting for the next break in the action to leap onto the court. But slowly something has begun to click in my head.

In Zechariah 4:6, God says, “‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit.’” In the book of Psalms, God says, “No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength…But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear Him” (Psalm 33:16, 18). Joseph affirmed that it was God who spoke through Him (Genesis 41:16), David that it was God who fought through Him (1 Samuel 17:47), and even Jesus that it was God who worked through Him (John 5:20).

Conclusion

I’m not Michael Jordan or even Scottie Pippen. I am still very much Dennis Rodman. I’m Robin to God’s Batman. I am the sidekick, not the hero, the wingman, not the ace. I get to step onto the court, but I’m still on the sidelines, watching the great Superstar perform dazzling miracles and stunning turnarounds. And like John the Baptist, I’m learning how to accept that, “He must increase, and I must decrease” (John 3:30). Because the audience isn’t here for me. And as the ball rainbows through the air, I will remember that I had the express honor of inbounding that sick buzzer beater.

“For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.”

(Psalm 84:11)

Putting First Things Second (How the Mighty Fall Pt. 2)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For Part 1, “Mighty Presumption, click here.

Greatness comes from putting first things first. If you want to be a great basketball player, you have to master the core principles of the game—taking care of the ball, shooting high quality shots, and the like—and never lose sight of them. If you want to be a great engineer, you have to maintain a strong knowledge of geometry, algebra, and calculus. No amount of sweettalking will save you when your poorly designed bridge crumples. This same principle applies to great leadership.

In the book of 1 Samuel, the LORD commissions King Saul for his last God-given assignment, destroying the wicked Amalekites and razing everything they owned. Saul and his men did wipe out the Amalekites, but they “spared Agag, the king of the Amalekites, and spared the best of the sheep and cattle, the fat calves and lambs—everything that was good. These they were unwilling to destroy completely, but everything that was despised and weak they totally destroyed” (1 Samuel 15:9). The prophet Samuel was again called on to rebuke the king, and their conversation revealed the several ways King Saul failed as a leader.

Putting Humility Second

Samuel begins his chastisement by saying, “‘Although you once considered yourself unimportant’” (1 Samuel 15:17). There once was a time when King Saul was simply Saul. He was a mere farmer who worked the ground (1 Samuel 11:5). He was so afraid of leadership that he hid among a pile of baggage when his reign was announced (1 Samuel 10:20-22)! But power corrupted his view of himself. When Saul ascended the throne, he no longer saw himself as Saul the man, but Saul the king. And kings do whatever they please.

Jesus Himself affirmed that the heart of good leadership is not pleasing yourself but serving others. “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave” (Matthew 20:26-27). No one with a proud heart will bend their backs to serve others.

Putting Purpose Second

Secondly, Saul lost sight of the reason God had given him this mission in the first place. When Samuel called him out for disobeying the voice of the LORD, Saul rebutted, “But I did obey the Lord…I completely destroyed the Amalekites and brought back Agag their king. The soldiers took sheep and cattle from the plunder, the best of what was devoted to God, in order to sacrifice them to the Lord your God at Gilgal.” Keep in mind that when an animal was sacrificed to the Lord during that time, the one who offered the sacrifice would then consume part of the offering themselves.

So easily, when success comes, we too can lose sight of our original vision. We can start a hospital to help, a nonprofit to serve, or a church to love. But when funds start pouring in, we can be tempted to help others and help ourselves, serve others and serve ourselves, love others yet love ourselves more. An organization without vision is like a lamp without oil, in mortal danger of being snuffed out (Revelation 2:4-5).  

Putting God Second

In desperation, Saul made one final plea. He cried, “‘I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice” (1 Samuel 15:24). Saul’s last excuse was that he was pressured into his actions by his followers.

When a leader becomes subject to the desires of their followers, they are no longer a leader. Leaders lead by definition. They point their followers to someone or something greater than themselves: a cause, an ideal, or a moral principle. In this case, King Saul and his subjects’ obedience to God would have demonstrated that they were the LORD’s people, driven not by material gain but spiritual truth. They would have fulfilled the greatest commandment: “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength’” (Mark 12:30). Instead, by giving into the masses, King Saul demonstrated that he loved the approval of others even more.

Conclusion

Greatness requires humility, purpose, and obedience to a higher calling. When we lost sight of any one of these, we won’t only lead ourselves astray, we’ll mislead all those who follow us. But when we maintain all of these in spite of success, riches, and fame, then we’ll truly be great leaders.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

(Matthew 16:33)

Whose Glory Is It Anyway?

By Ife J. Ibitayo

A little over a year ago, God led me to start this blog. I baptized the process in prayer, reached out to friends and family, and even posted flyers around my neighborhood. I had naively hoped that even if it didn’t ride the rocket to stardom that I’d at least be able to generate some level of interest. But now it’s been over a year, and my rocket has yet to take off.

Whose Glory?

As I mentioned in my article on fame, my drug of choice has always been glory. Michael Jordan, Barak Obama, and Ife Ibitayo should all be mentioned in the same breath. Interestingly enough, fame is something that God wants too.

There are eighty-eight different passages in the Bible that speak of God doing something in order that people may “know that I am the LORD” (Exodus 7:5, 1 Kings 20:13, and Isaiah 49:23 to name a few). But since we’re both seeking glory, who does it properly belong to?

His Glory?

In the book of Isaiah, God says, “‘I am the Lord! That is my name! I will not share my glory with anyone else, or the praise due me with idols’” (Isaiah 42:8). So clearly God thinks He deserves all the praise and the honor and the majesty. Considering that He is the Creator of the universe, the Sustainer of all life, and the Savior of all mankind, that is probably a reasonable demand. But then why do we so desire glory for ourselves?

My Glory?

The root of our glory seeking is pride. It began with Satan in heaven in ages past. He said, “I will ascend to the heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the north. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High” (Isaiah 14:13-14).

Satan’s folly lay in attempting to set himself above God, and the same pride lies in our own hearts. We may not speak such blatantly boastful words, but we too think that we deserve praise and admiration. By the sweat of our brows and the work of our hands, we’ve fought for what we have today.

Chastising the Corinthians who were being ensnared by the same evil, Paul said, “What do you have that you did not receive” (1 Corinthians 4:7)? Our intelligence, our physique, and more were shaped by forces largely outside our control. We didn’t pave the path to where we are today but found it by stumbling across the yellow brick road of grace and mercy.

Our Glory

Yet the amazing thing about God’s glory is that it actually leaves room for our own as well. Before He was taken up to heaven, Jesus told the Father, “I’ve given them the glory that you gave me” (John 17:22). Jesus emphasized that there is glory that we can and should seek. But it is not derived from our own awesomeness but from the LORD’s. As we seek to glorify God on this earth, we may not receive the recognition we wish we did. But the LORD recognizes us, and He will glorify us at the proper time.

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time.”

(1 Peter 5:6)

Love is Kind (Love Is… Part 2)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For Part 1, Love is Patient, click here.

I still remember the day I found out that I was going to have a little brother. I jubilated for days while the rest of my family groaned (after having two sons, they were really hoping for a daughter). I counted the days till I’d have a mini-me to teach the glorious wonders of basketball, video games, and the Word. Then he was born.

I quickly found out that having a younger sibling was far less about instructing him to come up to my level and far more about coming down to his. I forced goofy grins as I hefted his chubby little body into the air for the hundredth time. I bit my tongue as we watched reruns of Peppa Pig when I’d much rather be enjoying a new season of The Simpsons. In short, I learned the sacrificial, giving nature of love.

Love Is

1 Corinthians 13:4 says, “Love is kind.” The Greek word translated “kind” is “chrésteuomai”, meaning “to be full of service to others”. Love is far more than a feeling of goodwill toward another. It is an inward emotion that leads to outward action. That is why Jesus said, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13 NLT).

Just as faith without works is dead (James 2:17), so is love without kindness. Apostle James said, “Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, ‘Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well’—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do” (James 2:15-16 NLT)? Love is more than flowery sentiment and good vibrations (1 John 3:18). It’s sacrificing one’s time, energy, and money for the good of another.

Love Isn’t

Kindness encompasses what we refrain from doing as well. “Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged” (1 Corinthians 13:5 NLT).

Firstly, love doesn’t demand its own way. It permits the other to choose—the restaurant, the movie, the vacation getaway—even when its well within one’s right to unilaterally make the decision. In doing so, we humbly value others over ourselves (Philippians 2:3).

 Secondly, love isn’t irritable. As we discussed last week, love is patient (1 Corinthians 13:4). It puts up with the sticky hands and screaming voices, the carpet stains and broken dishes, the gaming at 3 AM and the napping at 3 PM.

Lastly, love isn’t vindictive. Just as God flung our sins as far away from us as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12), so we must forgive one another’s faults. No longer should we see them as Lying Laurie or Lazy Lucas. We must see them with the eyes of Christ—as new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Conclusion

 After hearing about how much love demands, it could be easy to try replace it with a cheap substitute. But just as any true Coke lover knows that aspartame is a poor replacement for sugar, real love can never be exchanged. We must love because we’re made in the image of the God of love (Genesis 1:27). And love is kind.

“We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.”

(1 John 4:16)