Tag: Home

Abide in Me

By Ife J. Ibitayo

A couple weeks ago, I heard a powerful message about “Abiding in the Presence” of God. Before His death on the cross, Jesus commanded His disciples, “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me” (John 15:4). In essence, Jesus said there is one thing you must do in order to live a fruitful life: Abide in Him. Hearing that simple charge, I was pumped. If I can check off the “Abide in Jesus” box each day, I’ll be good to go. But then I realized, I have no idea what “abiding in Christ” really means.

So resorting to the same measures as any other proselyte, I dug into Thayer’s Greek Lexicon. And I discovered the manifold richness captured in this puzzling world.

Abiding is Lodging

First, to abide means “to lodge somewhere, to tarry as a guest.” I.e. abiding means to make a place home. As a child that moved as often as an All American military brat, I struggled to call any place home. My home was never a particular house or neighborhood. Rather, it was the faith I carried with me and used to orient myself wherever I lived. So my first order of business every time I move is to find a church to get plugged into. It provides an old sense of familiarity in a bewildering new environment.

Abiding is Remaining

Secondly, to abide means “to remain as one thing and not become something different.” Coming to LA, there are so many things I want to do and so many me’s I want to be. I’m a student, an author, an entrepreneur, a wannabe socialite and many other labels that I’m trying on for size like fall sweaters. And I often find myself frustrated as I attempt to disentangle my overscheduled, conflict-ridden calendar. But God says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let Me transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know My will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (Romans 12:2). Just because I’m in Rome doesn’t mean I have to do as the Romans do. My residency is still in Christ no matter what city I move to.

Abiding is Enduring

Lastly, to abide means “to endure through time.” I’ve only been in this new city a couple months, yet I’ve already found myself wondering if I should throw in the towel. I already have so much to do and so little energy left to finish it all. But that is why Jesus went on to say, “Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:6).

Just as my Apple Watch is useless unless it retains its Bluetooth connection with my iPhone, I am useless unless I retain my spiritual connection with Jesus. We have little capacity because we were never meant to be reservoirs. God is the source. Rather, we’re meant to be conduits, and a conduit can only remain useful if it stays connected to its source.

Abiding is Obeying

Jesus said, “Abide in my love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love” (John 15:9-10). The outworking of the super spiritual word “abide” is culminated in the very practical word “obey.” When we love God and love others, we walk in closest communion with Him. And from those seeds of obedience will surely grow the fruit of faithfulness.

Freedom (Unreliable Idols Pt. 3)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

This the third article in a series on unreliable idols. For Part 1 on Fame, click here. For Part 2 on Fortune, click here.

Freedom is the bedrock of the United States. From the Declaration of Independence to the Bill of Rights to the Emancipation Proclamation, citizens of the United States have experienced tremendous freedoms, both collective and individual.

As an American nomad, I’ve especially grown accustomed to the free life. I bed down in a location for a few years, accomplish what I’ve come to do, and move on to the next. In the past ten years, I’ve moved five times, and I’ve maintained my freedom: I have no girl back home, no children to return to, no strings attached.

Idol of Freedom

According to dictionary.com, freedom is “exemption from external control”, the ability to do what you want to do when you want to do it. Freedom is a blessing, one that many stuck-at-home mothers are understandably craving right now. But the moment freedom becomes tantamount, it become an idol.

When your own personal freedoms become more important than anyone else’s (eg watching what you want on TV even when it’s inappropriate for your children, eating what you want even when your spouse is concerned about your weight, or working when you want even if it’s inconvenient for your coworkers), you have made your personal good your god and become a slave to your desires.

True Freedom

Living a life dedicated to yourself ultimately leads to death. It will poison your friendships, your marriage, and, ironically, your personal well-being. But living for others leads to life in these same areas (Romans 6:20-22).

I wasn’t completely truthful when I said I have no strings attached. I have family I visit, friends I call, and a community I serve. These connections do drain my resources and restrict the way I live my life, but they give so much more than they take. I would be adrift without them.

Conclusion

A morning spent sleeping in, an afternoon wasted lazing around the house, or an evening devoted to a good movie is not innately sinful. A disproportionate amount of people today are genuinely in need of these things. But we must also remember to play with our children, romance our spouses, and love our neighbors.

Galatians 5:13 says, “For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.” Freedom is found in service to others specifically because it frees us from the “tyranny of me”. Selflessness expands our circle of care beyond ourselves and provides us the joy and satisfaction we are truly looking for.

“Jesus said to the people who believed in Him, ‘You are truly My disciples if you remain faithful to My teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

(John 8:31-32 NLT)

Home

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I consider myself a bit of an American nomad. Before I turned eighteen, I had already lived in four different states and half a dozen different cities. Every move brought something fresh and exciting: Frigid winters in Michigan, sweltering heat in Florida, luscious vistas in California, and wilting shrubs in Texas. New friends and adventures awaited me every year of my childhood, yet I still feel like there was something missing from it.

The most troubling small talk question anyone can ask me is: “Where are you from?” I will immediately begin to hem and haw, trying to decide how much detail to go into when describing my backstory. In many ways I don’t feel like I’m “from” anywhere. Once I give that sputtering nonanswer, many people rephrase the question as: “Where is home for you?” This question is not hard to answer for many people. They may consider their home their hometown or their homeland or wherever their family lives at the moment, but I want to understand what “home” truly is.

What is Home?

I think a definition that might begin to capture some of the essence of homeness is that home is a “welcome familiarity”. Familiarity is the key aspect of this definition that most people will recognize. What makes a people “homey”, for instance, is that they speak your language or bear your skin color or share your interests. However, familiarity alone is not enough. Martin Luther King Jr. lived in the United States his whole life, but he never felt at home here. He fought to change the status quo of racism, the familiar, because it was utterly unwelcome to him. This is why I define home as both familiar and welcome. It is both what one is used to and what one longs for.

The Way Home

Everyone desires a home. This desire is the reason why two-thirds of college students experience homesickness [CIRP: https://www.heri.ucla.edu/infographics/2012-YFCY-Infographic.pdf], even though teenagers will be the first to tell you they want to get away from home as soon as possible. Home provides a sense of constancy in the face of a fluidly changing world. With a fluctuating stock market, a volatile job market, and frustratingly empty supermarkets, a home provides a safe space you can return to and know what to expect.

If you are like me, you may be currently “homeless”. You may have left any sense of home you’ve had behind and be wondering if you’ll ever find it again. According to the Bible, we’re not the only ones who’ve wrestled with homelessness.

The author of the book of Hebrews, speaking of the heroes of the Christian faith, said they “acknowledged that they were foreigners and strangers on the earth” (Hebrews 11:13b, NIV). If home can only be found here on earth, then these brave women and men are worthy of our pity (1 Corinthians 15:19). But the author goes on to speak of a “better country”, a heavenly homeland for all who put their faith in Jesus Christ. This heavenly homeland is familiar—like a family reunion (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18); it is welcome—like a rollicking party (Luke 15:23-25); and it is permanent (Daniel 7:18).

Conclusion

If you find a home here on earth, lay hold of it. Cherish it. Share it with others. But if you don’t, take comfort in the fact that one day you will finally, eternally be home.

“There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.”

John 14:2-3 (NLT)