Tag: foundation

The Pressure

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Less than three months have passed since I moved to Los Angeles. But I’m already feeling the pressure creep onto my shoulder like the long, blackened fingernails from the worst horror movie you’ve ever seen. “You should lead this.” “You must join that.” “Everyone else is doing it.” Every “yes” I utter fills my future with obligations I never wanted to commit to. And every “no” engulfs me in the all too familiar fear of missing out. Is being damned if you do and damned if you don’t the only two options for the fledgling college student? Is there any way to overcome the pressure?

The Conflict

Firstly, societal pressure arises from the conflict between our own desires and those of others for us. To face this pressure head on, we must determine where the conflict is coming from: comfort vs. discomfort, fear vs. faith, or good vs. evil.

A lot of pressure comes simply from being pushed outside of our comfort zone. Joining a new club or flying to a new country are not inherently evil. But they may require us to stretch ourselves. We have to trust others’ words rather than our gut sense that pickleball or a pickle sandwich are really bad ideas.

Or our fear may arise from deep-seated wisdom within us. For instance, if we don’t want to go to a club where we may run into our ex, we may not be “overthinking it.” And wanting to leave early before we drink too much may be the best decision we can make. Knowing why we feel so conflicted is critical for us to decide whether to give in to the pressure or resist it with all our might.

The Advisers

Secondly, we have to choose not only what we’re pressured into doing but who we let pressure us in the first place. Truly no man is an island, and we are often our own worst advisers. The book of Proverbs is filled with advice about seeking advice (Proverbs 11:14, Proverbs 12:15, Proverbs 15:22, etc.) because we need other people’s inputs in our lives. But we must know our advisers have our best interests at heart before we allow them to influence our choices.

The Foundation

Lastly, we must have a solid foundation if we want to effectively resist societal pressure. Jesus said, “Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock” (Matthew 27:24-25).

Everyone will face pressure in this life. But if we don’t have our own sense of identity and purpose, we’re bound to be carried along by the whims of others. We must have a north star, a focal point we orient our lives around, if we don’t want to be swept away by the current of this fast-moving world.

“Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety.”

(Proverbs 29:25)

A Foundation of Rejoicing and Regret (Broken Hallelujah Pt. 1)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

The Babylonians exiled the Israelites for seventy years (Jeremiah 29:10). When they returned to Jerusalem, they were welcomed by a devastated temple and a ravaged city. A grand legacy built over the course of centuries had been reduced to rubble. As they sat among the ashes, the LORD commanded the Israelites to rebuild.

Two years after the Israelites’ return, they began restoring the temple, the symbol of the LORD’s presence among them and the pride of their country. The book of Ezra says, “With praise and thanksgiving they sang to the Lord: ‘He is good; His love toward Israel endures forever.’ And all the people gave a great shout of praise to the Lord, because the foundation of the house of the Lord was laid. But many of the older priests and Levites and family heads, who had seen the former temple, wept aloud when they saw the foundation of this temple being laid, while many others shouted for joy. No one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping, because the people made so much noise.” (Ezra 3:11-13a NIV).

Thanksgiving

As we enter into the month of November, we have much to give thanks for. With every new election comes renewed hope of a fresh start. 2021 is fast approaching with the promise of vaccines that will heal our land and restore our economy. And the holiday season promises a welcome reprieve from the monotony of the past six months.

Weeping

But just as the older priests remembered the former glory of Solomon’s temple, so we too remember all that’s been lost. We remember the joys of community, collective celebration, and above all the precious lives that were snuffed out by this pandemic. So as we clothe ourselves with a garment of praise, we also shoulder a boulder of grief.

Conclusion

These two truths must remain in tension, joy for what’s to come and pain over what’s been lost. Many of us have a tendency to drift to one extreme or the other. Some are drinking themselves to despair on memories of yesteryear. Others are whitewashing this year with platitudes and denial. But Apostle Paul said to “be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15 NLT). As we near the end of 2020 and turn over a new leaf with 2021, we must learn to embrace the bittersweet. We must belt out laughter from our bellies with tears of grief streaming down our faces. We must cherish the joy without neglecting the sorrow. For only from that razor-thin vantage point will we have the eyes to rebuild properly.

“I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.”

(Lamentations 3:19-23 NIV)