Tag: fear

The Distance Between Our Foundation and Our Cornerstone

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Even when my parents were struggling to make ends meet, my mother still insisted on sending me to a Christian private school. She hoped to instill in me a love for Christ through consistent messaging at home, at church, and at school. Now my faith is deeply personal, and those early, formative years planted the seeds for it.

However, I didn’t embrace my faith as my own until middle school. When I was transplanted from a private school to a charter school, my new classmates challenged my faith. They forced me to do some serious introspection and answer, “What is the foundation of my faith?” Without that jolt, I’m not certain when, even up till now, I would have answered that question.

A similar shift is occurring throughout the United States. For centuries, the USA was known as a Christian nation. We used to be “one nation under God.” Now we’re many nations under many gods all sharing the same flag. Numerous Christian values that formed the atmosphere we breathed have been uprooted, and we suddenly find ourselves surrounded by strangers.

It’s a bit like senior year of high school. We were on top of the world, but now we’ve “graduated” and find ourselves at the bottom again. The many bastions of society that we took for granted in earlier years have been overturned. Mothers’ right to choose has silenced unborn babies’ right to live. Fluid gender identity has transplanted fixed biology.  And many Christians are furious. In rage, they’ve leapt onto their social media accounts and stormed the ballot boxes to reinstate the sacred principles they believe form the bedrock of Christianity.

Our Cornerstone

But that was not the focus of Christ, our true cornerstone. At the start of His ministry, Jesus described His purpose here on earth as “preaching good news to the poor, proclaiming freedom to captives and sight to the blind, setting free the bound, and declaring the favorable year of the Lord” (Luke 4:18-19). To put it another way, Jesus’ mission was not to transform the government but to transform the governed. He was focused not on policy change but heart change. He spent far less time with the governmental and religious elite of His day and far more time with the destitute and downtrodden.

Now Jesus was angry too. But He directed His anger at the conmen who’d taken up shop inside His holy temple (Matthew 21:12-13). He had no patience for those who saw the gospel as a means of gain rather than great treasure in and of itself (1 Timothy 6:5-6). But toward the lost—the prostitutes, the tax collectors, and foreigners, Christ’s primary response was compassion (Matthew 21:14) and friendship (Matthew 11:19).

Conclusion

Anger is justified. There is quite a bit to be angry about from this past year: the lives this virus has cut off, the dreams this pandemic has shut down, and much more. America is changing significantly in many uncomfortable and frustrating ways. But we should let that anger drive us to love others more, not less. We should use our hands to vote, but then we should use our fingers to help.

1 John 4:18 says, “perfect love drives out fear.” It has the power to drive fear out of the hearts of immigrants who’ve moved into our neighborhoods and just maybe out of our own as well.

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

(James 1:27)

Peace in the Midst of Trouble (In the Midst of Pt. 1)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

It’d be an understatement to say that my life has been troubled as of late. I’ve been choking down a toxic soup of emotional anguish and looming deadlines day by day. Less than a year ago, I was struggling with symptoms that resembled Generalized Anxiety Disorder. So great was the weight of my daily anxiety that my blood pressure skyrocketed (see my article “Big Problems, Bigger God”). As worries hovered about my mind like looming thunderclouds, the story of Jesus sailing across the Sea of Galilee with His disciples came to my mind.

Losing Peace

Jesus gathered His ragtag group of friends and told them, “Let’s cross to the other side of this lake” (Mark 4:35). But soon after they got underway, a great storm arose, sending massive breakers into their puny boat. In fear, the disciples rushed to the stern of the boat and roused their sleeping master. They cried to the bleary-eyed Jesus, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” (Mark 4:38)

The disciples were fearful because they based their internal peace on external circumstances. While the sea was calm, they were at peace. When the sea grew tumultuous, so did their souls.

We too are tempted to anchor our peace on what our eyes can see: dollar signs in our bank account, 5’s on our performance reviews, or A’s on our children’s report cards. But just like the water in the great deep, forces beyond our control can transform any one of these wellsprings of peace into a source of anxiety.

Giving Peace

Jesus responded to the mighty windstorm with a mighty rebuke. He yelled to the wind and waves, “Peace! Be still” The wind stopped howling, and a great calm fell upon the sea (Mark 4:39).

Now, this peace didn’t spring up from nowhere. It was already present in Jesus’ soul. This peace is why He was able to rest through this great unrest. And this peace was so powerful that—by the power of the Holy Spirit—He was able to transform His external reality to match His internal truth.

I marvel at Jesus’ peace through the most trying of circumstances. He maintained His peace in the face of intense persecution, abandonment by His loved ones, and even His death on the cross. His otherworldly serenity tempts me to despair because I know I can’t muster up peace like His.

 But that’s why Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you (John 14:27).” Because He knows that we can’t produce peace on our own, He graciously decided to give it to us.

Receiving Peace

At the end of His story about shushing the wind and waves, Jesus asked His disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith” (Mark 4:40)? He mentions faith because faith is the conduit of grace. We must transfer the faith we place in money, people, and our own capabilities onto the person of Jesus Christ in order to receive His peace.

Conclusion

We place our faith in Jesus Christ because He has the power to keep His promises. Jesus promised His disciples that they’d reach the other side in Mark 4:35, and this is the same promise He offers to each of us. No matter how large the sea, no matter how mighty the waves, Jesus promises that we’ll reach the other side of our sea of trouble.

“‘I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.’”

(John 16:33)

Heartbreak Hero

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Last week, I had my heart ripped out. Actually, it was a more protracted operation: a piece here, a shard there until it felt like there was nothing left.

When romantic relationships fail, pain follows. It’s the ever-present companion of every heartbreak hero. It threatens to wrap itself around our eyeballs and frame our uncertain future from now on.

There are no easy remedies to mend a broken heart, but there are several things that can make it worse.

Regret

The first is overwhelming regret. When my relationship dissolved, I found myself plagued by the question: “What could I have done better?” Our thoughts will condemn and second guess every decision we made: tulips rather than roses, choosing the action flick over the romantic comedy, or suggesting they meet our parents after the third date.

The Bible affirms that our hearts have a tendency to alternate between condemning and excusing us (Romans 2:15). But that’s no way to live! 1 John 3:20 says that “if our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything.” Rather than reliving every past mistake, we must learn from them, and pray that God gives us the strength not to repeat them in our next relationship.

Anger

There is good reason for the saying, “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” Just as love can bring out the best in us, it can also bring out the worst. I never realized how petty, vindictive, and easily frustrated I was until I fell in love. And when love is lost, all these death blossoms flourish into full bloom.

Anger is a cancer that can pervade every aspect of our lives. It can rob us of physical health, emotional stability, and spiritual peace. And it only has one antidote: forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift we must receive from the Spirit because it is completely unnatural for us.

Jesus said “I’m the vine. You are the branches. Apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). We don’t have it in ourselves to let go of every ghosted text, every missed phone call, every dollar and hour we spent in pursuit of our lover’s heart. But when we forgive, we not only let our past flame go, we let ourselves go as well. We release ourselves from the shackles of hatred and bitterness. We’ll carry those chains into every future relationship if we don’t uncuff ourselves today.

Fear

Lastly, breakups can leave us with two fears about our future: 1. How will I ever find another like her/him? 2. How can I ever let myself be vulnerable again?

Satan will tempt us to believe that that special person we lost was our last shot at a happily every after. But God says, “I know the plans I have for you, to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). God is the ultimate matchmaker for each and every one of us. His process may not be pain free, and it may not run on our schedule. But it is good.

 Secondly, vulnerability is the fruit of a healthy heart. Just as we only use a cast on a broken arm, we only wall up our hearts when they’re still wounded. This healing, once again, only comes from God. God says He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). That promise extends even to our shattered, aching heart fragments.

Conclusion

I call us heartbreak heroes because the Author always watches over His protagonists. We may not know how to move forward with blood still dripping out of our chests. And the healing process will take time. But the story really will be a good one, even if we wish we could skip to the next chapter.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

(Romans 8:38-39)

Stilling the Tsunami of Anxiety

By Ife J. Ibitayo

To see the original post on beamanjourney.com, click here.

It begins with the thoughts. What if they don’t like me? What if I’m not good enough? What if it’s cancer? And pretty soon I find myself flailing in a tsunami of doubt. When I was asked by my friend Pastor Stephen Law to write an article about overcoming anxiety, I laughed. It was like asking someone who’s barely learned how to tread water to teach others how to swim. But God is gracious, and He has taught me a few things about stilling this raging storm.

The Life Preserver of Prayer

Philippians 4:6 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.” Most worriers worry passively. It’s so natural that it’s like breathing and blinking to them. That is why God asks us to actively give our worries to Him through prayer.

I hated my tendency to see the thousand ways every situation could go wrong until I read a book called Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson. He wrote, “If you worry about everything, you’ll have a much higher likelihood of praying without ceasing if you simply learn to turn your worries into prayers. The Holy Spirit can redeem your anxious thoughts by using them as prayer triggers. Think of worry as a prayer alarm. Every time it goes off, you put it to prayer.” Once I discovered this gift, I realized that anxious worriers make some of the best prayer warriors. Through prayer God allows us to transform our mental suffering into spiritual blessing!

The Water Wings of the Word

Secondly, I learned that knowledge of the word of God is the best weapon to fend off the flaming darts of doubt. The Bible is more effective than more facts and data because anxiety often doesn’t stem from lack of information. I know that less than 1% of Americans suffer from glaucoma, yet I feared I might be going blind.  When layoffs swept through my company, I feared I might be let go even though they were still actively hiring in my group division. My problem was not with my head but with my heart.

When my head said I might lose my job, my heart should have said, “Look at the birds in the sky: They do not sow, or reap, or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds then. Aren’t you more valuable than they are?” (Matthew 6:26). When the threat of sickness pounded at my door, from glaucoma to an irregular heartbeat to high blood pressure—all of which I visited doctors about in the past year—I should have told myself, “By His wounds I am healed” (Isaiah 53:5). For every fearful question, God has a hopeful answer if we internalize His Word.

The Support of Other Swimmers

Lastly, anxiety thrives in a vacuum. When we speak fearful things to ourselves and answer them by ourselves, our worries will grow with time. We must expose our fears to others if we want to experience healing.

Galatians 6:2 says, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” This is not just a command to help other people carry their loads but also to allow others to shoulder ours. The level of need differs for all of us. We may need the listening ear of a trusted friend on occasion, or we may need regular, professional help depending on the severity of our anxiety. We may also slide along this spectrum depending on the season we’re going through. The key is recognizing this need and humbly admitting to someone else that we’re not alright.

Conclusion

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “We have nothing to fear except fear itself.” I used to roll my eyes at this worn-out phrase, but FDR makes a good point. He went on to define fear as “nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”

Fear really is the great enemy. It stole my joy for years and crippled my decision making. Anxiety kept me from the abundant life that God had for me, and it could be doing the same to you. Don’t let anxiety steal another minute of your happiness. Turn to God, speak to others, and start swimming down the stream of healing.

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” (Matthew 6:31-33).

Swimming Tips

  1. Start your day with a worry list. Write your worries on a sheet of paper, then title the list “God help me with…” and pray about them.
  2. Find a new verse each month that speaks to your specific anxieties and memorize it. Deuteronomy 31:6, 1 Peter 5:7, and Psalm 56:11 are all great verses to start with.
  3. Agree with someone you trust to talk regularly (daily, weekly, or monthly) about your fears and worries.