Tag: father

My Extraordinary Ordinary Father

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Dedicated to my father—I am so grateful to be your son.

Every Saturday morning growing up, I was awoken by the sound of a basketball caroming off a hoop. It was the sound of my dad practicing his special double-handed overhead shot.  Most of the time I’d hop out of bed and run downstairs to join him. But sometimes I’d roll over, dig my head into my pillowcase, and try to go back to sleep. But regardless of how I responded, I knew that every Saturday morning my father would be shooting hoops in our driveway.

It wasn’t until I was older that I found out my dad wasn’t training for the NBA combine. He didn’t like basketball and knew that he’d never be good at it. But he would go out there every weekend hoping to connecting with my older brother and me.

Extraordinary

My father is extraordinary. He started his life in his America in his thirties with a wife and a baby boy. Despite his college degree from Nigeria, he worked a menial job for years as he earned an American graduate degree.

 My parents slept on a mattress on the floor in a one-bedroom apartment. They lived paycheck to paycheck and depended on WIC to make ends meet. They endured hundreds of stressful days and countless sleepless nights until they finally broke through. And we arrived in the suburbs with a two-story house, a swimming pool, and a basketball hoop.

Ordinary

But I don’t appreciate my dad just because of one extraordinary act of his. As Rome wasn’t built in one day, neither was our loving family. As I mentioned earlier, every week we’d play basketball together. Every week we’d go to church together. And every week we’d share a meal together.

These ordinary, seemingly mundane events formed the sturdy foundation of my childhood. I knew my father loved me because he was always there for me. And even when he traveled for weeks on end, I knew that when he returned, we’d pick right back up where we’d left off.

Conclusion

Proverbs 19:14 says, “Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the LORD can give an understanding wife.” But an understanding father is also a gift from God. God gave me a father who’s left me with much more than houses or wealth: He’s given me love, and all the wealth in the world can’t compare with that.

“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.”

Proverbs 13:22a

Wrestling with God (The Jacob Within Pt. 3)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

This is the last entry in a trilogy of articles on the wrestlings of Jacob. For part 1 on “Wrestling with Esau”, click here. For part 2 on “Wrestling with Laban”, click here.

Over the past few weeks, we’ve seen Jacob’s bouts with his brother Esau and his Uncle Laban. But the story Jacob might be most well known for is his wrestling match with God Himself. Jacob’s struggles with God were the most important encounters of his life.

The Promise to Jacob

Jacob’s first recorded clash with God was on his journey to Haran, where he hoped to escape from his furious brother Esau. On the trip there, he had a dream where God spoke to him. God said, “‘ Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth…I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you'” (Genesis 28:14-15 NIV). The significance of God’s words here cannot be overstated. He promised Jacob blessing, protection, and comfort regardless of what Jacob did.

The Vow of Jacob

However, Jacob responded to God’s promise with this vow: “‘If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father’s household, then the Lord will be my God and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God’s house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth'” (Genesis 28:20-22 NIV). A modern rendering of Jacob’s vow might read, “If God is good to me, then I will call myself a Christian, attend church, and tithe faithfully.” With this one statement, Jacob transformed God’s promise of a relationship with him into a job for Him.

Many might wonder why Jacob vowed to pay for what God had promised him for free, but we have been hardwired to act the same way. Living in our modern world of big business and consumer goods, we’ve learned that nothing is free. No one anywhere will give you what you desire without demanding something in return.

The Breaking Point of Jacob

This debased philosophy worked for Jacob up until he faced real adversity. When his older brother was marching in to meet him with four hundred troops, Jacob cried out to God, “‘Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me…But you have said, “I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted”‘” (Genesis 32:11-12 NIV). In his moment of helplessness, Jacob didn’t recall the vow he’d made to God but the promise God had made to him. He knew the only thing that stood between his life and death was God being true to His word.

But the old self never goes down without a fight. The LORD spent the night literally wrestling Jacob into submission. As morning dawned, the angel of the LORD wrenched Jacob’s leg out of its socket and demanded that Jacob release Him. But Jacob cried he would not release Him until God blessed him (Genesis 32:24-26).

This cry sounds like an assertion of the old Jacob, the Jacob that would use every means necessary to get his own way. But the prophet Hosea, speaking of this encounter, said, “He wrestled with the angel and won. He wept and pleaded for a blessing from Him” (Hosea 12:4).

Jacob’s cry was not an arrogant demand but a desperate plea. Here is a man who had finally come to the end of himself.  By admitting defeat, Jacob won the Lord’s blessing (Genesis 32:28).

Conclusion

Many of us are still wrestling with God, trying to force Him to cry “uncle” in an epic battle of cosmic proportions. But we have no hope of overpowering an omnipotent God, and we can never cut Him a sweet enough deal. God does not want to be our manager; He wants to be our Father. The only way we can do that is by accepting His promises, no strings attached.

“He called a little child to Him and placed the child among them. And He said, ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.'”

(Matthew 18:3-4 NIV)