Tag: family

I Thank God for Family (I Thank God For… Pt. 4)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For Part 1: “I Thank God for Gratitude”. For Part 2: “I Thank God for His Promises”. And for Part 3: “I Thank God for the Memories”.

Family is a complicated word. When we think of gratitude, the furthest people from many of our minds is our family. Even in my own life, some of my deepest wounds have come from my parents and siblings. But family is special to God because that is who He is.

An Old Family

When God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make him a helper [counterpart] suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18), He created the second family in all of existence. God was never alone. Since eternity past, He’s always been Father, Son, and Spirit—the Trinity. And that is why Jesus spends His time on earth calling God His Heavenly Father.

The Father loves the Son (John 5:20), and the Son pleases the Father (John 8:29). Their relationship with one another—along with the Holy Spirit, is unparalleled, and this is the type of relationship God calls us to enter into with our earthly family.

A New Family

For many reasons, our earthly family may not be our blood relatives. Due to trauma or other unfortunate life circumstances, we may not have spent Thanksgiving with anyone who shares our last name. But the beautiful thing about the Christian concept of family is how expansive it is.

Through Christ’s death on the cross, He inaugurated a new type of family, one not bound by the blood of our ancestors but the blood of our risen Savior. In the book of Galatians, Apostle Paul says, “In Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith…There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:26, 28). So Christ connects us believers in a way that transcends gender, ethnicity, and even ancestry. And through Him we are forever family.

Conclusion

In the past decade, Friendsgivings have been on the rise. One of the most intimate family moments of the year has begun to be shared with close friends. While some lament the dissolvement of family traditions, I believe this phenomenon may be a good thing. The root is connection, whether by blood or by faith, and as we transition into the Christmas season, we can be grateful we have our tribe to celebrate with.

“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brethren to dwell together in unity!”
(Psalm 133:1)

I Thank God for the Memories (I Thank God For… Pt. 3)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For Part 1, “I Thank God for Gratitude”, click here. For Part 2, “I Thank God for His Promises,” click here.

Psalm 103:2 begins with, “Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits.” As I reflect on this psalm as we near the end of this year, its words resonate in the depths of my inner man. Many people called 2020 “the year that took our breath away,” but for me that was 2022. Some of the highest highs and lowest lows I’ve experienced in a long time occurred during this past year.

Lowest Lows

“Who heals all your diseases” (Psalm 103:3). There are few things in life as terrifying as a false positive. When I was told at a routine checkup in May that I “might have had a heart attack,” only the word of God sustained me through that stressful week. Just as God preserved King Hezekiah on his deathbed (Isaiah 38:1-5), God’s word held me together as I spiraled under the hold of a terrifying diagnosis.

“Who redeems your life from destruction” (Psalm 103:4a). Well, there might be one thing more terrifying than a false positive: an SUV u-turning out of traffic and barreling toward you on the sidewalk. My feet were glued to the ground as my brain struggled to process what my eyes were seeing. But a voice in the back of my head cried, “Move!” and I leapt out of the way right before the vehicle flattened a yield sign and crashed into a tree. For weeks, anxiety swirled within me as I walked around my neighborhood. But the God who’s protected me for all my years before promised to continue protecting me now. And I knew I could trust in Him.

Highest Highs

“Who crowns you with love and compassion” (Psalm 103:5a). In the midst of the many difficult moments this past year, I found God trustworthy. Even when I was stressing over small things, God proved loving and compassionate. One day, I found out that the mover I had selected to transport my stuff across the country was untrustworthy. But after several hours of scouring the internet, I had no alternative plan. So I went for a walk to pray, and I saw the moving truck for a company I had never heard of. When I researched them, they turned out to be a perfect fit, and they transported my belongings seamlessly.

“Who satisfies your desires with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s” (Psalm 103:5b). Since moving to Los Angeles, I’ve been blown away by God’s tremendous hand of blessing upon my life. Wonderful people have entered my journey at every step. I have classmates to celebrate with, believers to fellowship alongside, and a family to call home even when I’m a thousand miles from Houston. I never expected the food, fun, and laughs that I’ve found in this new city. And each new day I find myself waking up wondering if I’m still dreaming.

Conclusion

Memories are pictures etched in the photo album of our minds that we can flip back to in the years to come. I’m sure they will grey and grow fuzzy with time, but I’m positive that I will soon turn back to 2022 and thank God for the memories.

“I remember the days of old. I ponder all your great works and think about what you have done.”

(1 Chronicles 16:12)

Humanity Was Made for Community

By Ife J. Ibitayo

This pandemic has been a harsh teacher for us all. I’ve seen just how fragile my normal life can be: Parties, holidays, and vacations can be disrupted in an instant. Dreams can been delayed for months and even years. And relationships can dissolve overnight.

There are so many people who I considered friends before the pandemic who aren’t my friends anymore. I haven’t pushed them away; I just haven’t pulled them close. And the tidal waves of time and space have caused us to drift apart. But just like fish were made for the sea and birds for the sky, humanity was made for community. But why do people need people? Why is community not a luxury but a necessity?

Community is Necessary for Conviction

Firstly, community is necessary for conviction. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “And let us consider one another in order to provoke love and good works, not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching.” I love the author’s word choice of “paroxysmon”, here translated “provoke.” That Greek word means, “A provocation which literally cuts someone so they ‘must’ respond.” Love and good works are not my natural go-tos. Pizza and Netflix are more like it. But when I hear about my small group helping someone move or serving at a food pantry or setting up for a church event, I am “provoked” into action.

 Conversely, selfishness and evil deeds flourish in isolation. Proverbs 18:1 says, “A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; he rages against all wise judgment.” I know that whenever I used to look at pornography, I didn’t go to the nearest library or visit my closest friend and open up my laptop. Rather, I entered my apartment, made sure no one else was home, turned off the lights, and only then typed in that address. But the Apostle John said, “If we walk in the light, as [God] is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin” (1 John 1:7). “Walking in the light” necessarily entails being open and honest about our sins with friends we trust.

Community Is Necessary for Healing

Which leads me to my second point, community is necessary for healing. There is something special about the gathering of believers that brings the power of Jesus near. Jesus Himself said, “Where two or more are gathered together in My name, there I am with them (Matthew 18:20).” Only the power of Jesus can heal broken bones, mends broken hearts, and reunites broken families. And that power is only fully realized in community.

Even Jesus Himself relied on community to bring about the full measure of His miracle working power. After Jesus raised His close friend Lazarus from the dead, “The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, ‘Unbind him, and let him go’” (John 11:44). After having raised this man from the dead, surely Jesus Himself could have unwrapped some meager linen strips. But even He believed that there was an essential aspect to having His community join in restoring Lazarus to full health. And this truth applies to us all. Even if God singlehandedly begins a great work in our lives, there is still a role our community will also play in freeing us from our former bondage.

Community is Necessary for Mission

Lastly, community is necessary for our mission here on this earth. Some of Jesus’ last words to His disciples before He died on the cross were, “‘A new command I give you: Love one another…By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34,35). It’s hard to love Jesus’ brothers and sisters without being around them. But when we make that effort, forming meaningful friendships with others, people’s hearts will be softened to the gospel message. Our greatest witness to the truth of Christianity is the quality of our deepest relationships. And the greatest gift we can give ourselves this new year is the blessing of community.

“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”

(Psalm 133:1)

Home

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I consider myself a bit of an American nomad. Before I turned eighteen, I had already lived in four different states and half a dozen different cities. Every move brought something fresh and exciting: Frigid winters in Michigan, sweltering heat in Florida, luscious vistas in California, and wilting shrubs in Texas. New friends and adventures awaited me every year of my childhood, yet I still feel like there was something missing from it.

The most troubling small talk question anyone can ask me is: “Where are you from?” I will immediately begin to hem and haw, trying to decide how much detail to go into when describing my backstory. In many ways I don’t feel like I’m “from” anywhere. Once I give that sputtering nonanswer, many people rephrase the question as: “Where is home for you?” This question is not hard to answer for many people. They may consider their home their hometown or their homeland or wherever their family lives at the moment, but I want to understand what “home” truly is.

What is Home?

I think a definition that might begin to capture some of the essence of homeness is that home is a “welcome familiarity”. Familiarity is the key aspect of this definition that most people will recognize. What makes a people “homey”, for instance, is that they speak your language or bear your skin color or share your interests. However, familiarity alone is not enough. Martin Luther King Jr. lived in the United States his whole life, but he never felt at home here. He fought to change the status quo of racism, the familiar, because it was utterly unwelcome to him. This is why I define home as both familiar and welcome. It is both what one is used to and what one longs for.

The Way Home

Everyone desires a home. This desire is the reason why two-thirds of college students experience homesickness [CIRP: https://www.heri.ucla.edu/infographics/2012-YFCY-Infographic.pdf], even though teenagers will be the first to tell you they want to get away from home as soon as possible. Home provides a sense of constancy in the face of a fluidly changing world. With a fluctuating stock market, a volatile job market, and frustratingly empty supermarkets, a home provides a safe space you can return to and know what to expect.

If you are like me, you may be currently “homeless”. You may have left any sense of home you’ve had behind and be wondering if you’ll ever find it again. According to the Bible, we’re not the only ones who’ve wrestled with homelessness.

The author of the book of Hebrews, speaking of the heroes of the Christian faith, said they “acknowledged that they were foreigners and strangers on the earth” (Hebrews 11:13b, NIV). If home can only be found here on earth, then these brave women and men are worthy of our pity (1 Corinthians 15:19). But the author goes on to speak of a “better country”, a heavenly homeland for all who put their faith in Jesus Christ. This heavenly homeland is familiar—like a family reunion (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18); it is welcome—like a rollicking party (Luke 15:23-25); and it is permanent (Daniel 7:18).

Conclusion

If you find a home here on earth, lay hold of it. Cherish it. Share it with others. But if you don’t, take comfort in the fact that one day you will finally, eternally be home.

“There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.”

John 14:2-3 (NLT)