Tag: covid

Wandering Eyes (My Embarrassing Life Pt. 3)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For Part 1 on my embarrassing driving misfortune click here. For Part 2 on my embarrassing jogging woes click here.

I like to visit my parents over the holidays. On one such visit, I trotted downstairs to talk to them. As I was hustling back upstairs, my eyes were drawn to a movie playing on the TV. My hand froze over the remote, and my mind locked on the seductive scene that unfolded in front of me.

 “Change the channel!” my dad yelled.

“But what about the others…” I blustered. Then I realized I was the only one watching.

Background

It shouldn’t be surprising that I was so easily sucked in. Temptation is everywhere in our sexually-charged culture. This threat is especially acute during this pandemic. Billions of people across the world have a sudden abundance of free time, and they are spending that time at home, alone.

With naughty entertainment just a click away, the gravitational pull of pornography may feel inescapable. But God freed me from its chains a few years ago, and I know He can do the same for you.

Humble Recognition

The first step in Alcoholics Anonymous twelve step program is, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol.” As long as I believed I had control over my addiction to pornography, it had control over me. I had to recognize my need for a “higher power” before I was truly able to start rooting this sin out of my life (1 Peter 5:6).

A few key signs of addiction are: 1. Are you ever unable to keep sex off your mind? Does your mind keep on circling round and round such thoughts until you finally give in? 2. Do you ever blow off responsibilities or cut yourself off from loved ones to fulfill sexual urges? 3. Do you hide or downplay your sexual activity? If you express any of this kind of behavior, you are likely addicted to sex.

Honest Confession

Jesus Christ said, “‘Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed'” (John 3:20). For years, my greatest fear was that someone would discover that I, a professing Christian and servant at my church, was addicted to pornography. Satan wielded this fear to lock me into a prison of solitary confinement.

My first real breakthrough happened after I confessed my addiction to someone I trusted. Addiction is rarely conquered alone. Find someone you trust and respect to confide in.

Heroic Action

I had to take three actions to fully break from looking at pornography. First, I installed an accountability software on my devices called Covenant Eyes. It reported any questionable web activity of mine to my accountability partner. Second, I locked myself out of the app store on all of my devices. I had my accountability partner control the passcode and went to them whenever I wanted to install a new app. Third, I blocked Facebook, Youtube, and any other website that had been a source of temptation for me in the past.

These actions may seem extreme, but my addiction was so acute I would exploit any avenue for sin I could find. I had to starve the demon for years to recover enough self-control to relax some of my self-imposed constraints. And even till today I keep some of them.

Conclusion

Just as sexual addiction is developed by a string of wrong choices, sexual freedom is achieved by consistent right ones. The battle may not be over in a month, a year, or even a decade, but it is worth fighting for. I want to end this article with the most significant verse in my personal battle with pornography. I repeated it to myself every time I failed, and it strengthened me to keep on fighting until I found victory:

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

(1 John 1:9 ESV)

Out of the Depths (Unreliable Idols Pt. 4)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

This the fourth and final article in a series on unreliable idols. For Part 1 on Fame, click here. Part 2 on Fortune, click here. Part 3 on Freedom, click here.

There once lived a man named Jonah. He was a well-known prophet of God who preached to royalty (2 Kings 14:23-25) and was even spoken of by Jesus Himself (Matthew 12:40-12:41, Matthew 16:4). But he too struggled with an idol in his heart: his homeland of Israel. 

The LORD called him to preach a message of judgment and repentance to Assyria, the empire that was oppressing their nation, but Jonah fled by boat in the opposite direction (Jonah 1:1-3). When the judgment of God caught up with him in the form of a mighty storm, he tried to commit suicide by having himself flung into the sea (Jonah 1:4-15). But God sent a large fish to swallow him (Jonah 1:17). At his lowest, engulfed by the consequences of his idolatry, he uttered a prayer to God that I found deeply moving.

Speak to God

Jonah begins his prayer, “In my distress I called to the LORD, and he answered me. From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help, and you listened to my cry.” (Jonah 2:1 NIV).

From his watery grave, Jonah cries out to God. He recognizes that even in this deep pit, God can still hear him, and from there God can still rescue him.

Speak to Yourself

In Jonah 2:3, Jonah speaks of the torment he’s in. He says, “You hurled me into the depths, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me; all your waves and breakers swept over me.” He doesn’t pretend everything’s alright; he admits his anguish. But he doesn’t stop there.

He says he told himself, “‘”I have been banished from your sight; yet I will look again toward your holy temple”‘” (Jonah 2:4 NIV). Jonah encourages himself with what he knows to be true. He knew daybreak would follow his long night. He knew he would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living even while clutched by the jaws of death. Etched into the fabric of his heart was the knowledge that the God he served was faithful, even when he wasn’t (2 Timothy 2:13).

Speak to Your Idols

Lastly, Jonah says, “‘Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love. But I with the voice of thanksgiving will sacrifice to you; what I have vowed I will pay. Salvation belongs to the LORD'” (Jonah 2:8-9 NIV)! Jonah finally saw his idols for what they truly were: Vain, useless, and utterly unreliable. They could not satisfy him, save him, or fulfill his heart’s desires the way God could.

We too must come to a place where we can speak this truth about our own idols. Fame, fortune, freedom, or anything else in this entire world cannot fill the God-shaped hole in our hearts.

Conclusion

After this prayer, God spoke to the large fish that had swallowed Jonah, and it vomited him onto dry ground (Jonah 2:10). God then recommissioned Jonah to fulfill the mission He’d given him in the first place, the one he’d vowed to fulfill while in the belly of the deep (Jonah 3:1-2).

This commission can be the hardest part of the journey. When we’re at our lowest, we may cry out to God, recognize our idols, and even vow to be the parent, spouse, or employee we’d once set out to be. But once God sets us back on the shore, following through with that decision is a daily test. We must continue setting one foot in front of the other, leaving our idols behind and straining to grasp the God in front of us.

He is waiting for us with open arms.

“O Israel, stay away from idols! I am the one who answers your prayers and cares for you. I am like a tree that is always green; all your fruit comes from me.”

(Hosea 14:8 NLT)

Fortune (Unreliable Idols Pt. 2)

This the second article in a series on unreliable idols. For Part 1 on Fame, click here.

Money may be the most misunderstood idol worshiped today. Many of the patriarchs of the Bible—Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, Solomon, and others—were both rich and righteous. The problem with money is not desiring it but greed, which is loving it more than anything else.

Idol of Fortune

In the book of 1 Timothy, Apostle Paul tells his son in the faith to “instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy” (1 Timothy 6:17 NASB). This verse addresses two common drivers behind money accrual: Provision and pleasure.

Money as Provision

No one accumulates wealth simply for the sake of having money. Money has very little actual value (a $100 bill costs ten cents to print). Money is valuable because of what it represents, and for many that is security.

I have a friend who grew up watching his parents discuss the mounting bills they had to pay many nights. One of his primary reasons for obtaining an engineering degree was never having to worry like his parents constantly did.

The problem with that mindset is that money, just like every other idol, is unreliable. One needs to look no further than this financial crisis to understand how a mountain of cash can transform into a valley of debt overnight.

Money as Pleasure

Many of us agree with the popular adage, “Money can’t buy you happiness,” yet we don’t live it out. We believe that obtaining that car, house, or vacation will fulfill us.

King Solomon, the richest man on the face of the planet during his lifetime (1 Kings 10:23), put that theory to the test. Here is a small subset of the things he used his money to buy: luxurious homes, legions of servants, exclusive live entertainment, and the most beautiful women in the world (Ecclesiastes 2:4-8). Yet he said, “When I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind” (Ecclesiastes 2:11a ESV).

Solomon recognized that there was a yearning in his heart that material possessions couldn’t satisfy. There was something more than the natural, something supernatural, that his heart desired.

God of Provision and Pleasure

Jesus said the Father knows our needs and will always meet them—if only we keep our priorities straight (Matthew 6:22-23). More than that, He promises to provide us ample resources to enjoy life.

As 1 Timothy 6:17 says, God richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. This promise may not guarantee us a six-figure salary or an island in the Caribbean, but it does secure us what our hearts truly desire: the presence of God Himself. For in God’s presence there is “fullness of joy” and “pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).

Conclusion

If life has robbed you of your resources, know that you don’t have to hold out until you’re financially stable to experience security. You don’t have to hang on until you’re rich to be deeply satisfied. Our heavenly Father is offering you both blessings today if you are willing to exchange your idol for Him.

“I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.”

(Psalm 16:8-9 ESV)

Fame (Unreliable Idols Pt.1)

Tragedy is the hot butter knife of life. It slices through lies and delusions, stopping just short of the heart. The content of those vessels, the idols we build our lives around, will be the topic of my next few articles. They are inspired by the book Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller.

Idol Definition

An idol is anything we rank first in our lives that is not God. It can range from material blessings to cherished relationships or grand ideals. At first blush, building your life around any one of these concepts may not seem like a bad idea. After the boom of Existentialism following World War II, that philosophy became the creed of the land: You live for what you want to live for, and I’ll live for what I want to live for. But this lifestyle will always lead to tragic consequences.

The Idol of Fame

I have always felt the need to be “somebody”. I’m a middle child, and I remember a period of my childhood when my older brother was nearing high school graduation and my younger brother was struggling with elementary school. I felt invisible. I had my own struggles and challenges but no one to share them with. I believe I secretly desire to become so important that that can never happen again.

Many other sources can fuel a desire to be known. Being perpetually passed over for promotions, living in the shadow of a family member, or a supersized ego can all stoke a need to become well-known.

The God of Fame

In the book of Galatians, the Apostle Paul says the believer is “known” by God (Galatians 4:9). The tremendous power of this statement is often overlooked. Consider how impactful it would be for an aspiring basketball player to be mentored by Lebron James. Their relationship with The King would likely give them security in their skill as a basketball player, no matter what anyone else thinks about them. In like manner, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords knows us.

God’s relationship with us surpasses head knowledge, even mentorship. The Apostle John goes so far as to say that God loves us as “His children” (1 John 3:1). We should rest securely knowing that our number one fan is God Himself!

Conclusion

In the book of Ecclesiastes, King Solomon speaks of a poor, wise man who delivers his besieged city from a great king. But this man is soon forgotten (Ecclesiastes 9:14-15). Like this man, no matter how impactful we are, we will all eventually be forgotten in this world.

However, we will be remembered in the world hereafter, and we will know the audience that has been watching us all this time, just as He knows us.

“Dear friends, we are already God’s children, but He has not yet shown us what we will be like when Christ appears. But we do know that we will be like Him, for we will see him as He really is.”
(1 John 3:2 NLT)

Noah & COVID-19

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I recently reread the story of Noah, and the remarkable parallels between his situation and ours amazed me. I’ve learned three useful lessons from Noah’s response to his challenging circumstances.

Background

Noah lived in a time of great wickedness on the earth. Humanity had grown so corrupt that God decided to wipe out every living creature (Genesis 6:5-7)! However, God chose to save Noah, his family and a pair of every living creature (Genesis 6:18-19). He commanded Noah to build an ark for this purpose, and shortly after he completed it, the Lord sent a flood on the earth.

Watch Willingly

Just like us, Noah and his family were also trapped in a closed environment for an extended period of time. According to the Biblical account, their isolation lasted over a year (Genesis 7:11, Genesis 8:14)! Noah’s first recorded response to this crisis was to measure how his situation was progressing. He repeatedly sent out birds to gauge how quickly the flood was subsiding from the earth (Genesis 8:6-12).

It can be tempting to bury our heads in the sand and insulate ourselves until this pandemic blows over. But someday we will return to work, our kids will return to school, and many aspects of life will return to normal. If we have no idea when that will occur, we will not be able to restart effectively.

Wait Patiently

On the first day of the year following the flood, Noah removed the roof of the ark and saw that the surface of the ground was dry (Genesis 8:13). I expected him to immediately open wide the floodgates and spill out of the ark, family in tow. But he waited two more months before he finally left (Genesis 8:14).

Our economy is crashing, our savings are tanking, and our plans are crumpling in our grasps. We may be tempted to disregard government regulations during this stressful time. But just as disastrous as Noah leaving the ark when only the top of the ground was dry would have been, so too will be the consequences of breaking social distancing guidelines before health professionals advise us to.

Worship Readily

Lastly, Noah built an altar and worshiped God as soon as he left the ark (Genesis 8:20). This may sound counterintuitive. Why worship a God who allowed such a calamity to happen in the first place?

Having a job during this season of rampant unemployment, possessing savings to stave off need, or receiving a stimulus check from the government are all good gifts from God (James 1:17). Though we may not know why He allowed this tragedy in the first place, His provision up until today is certainly worthy of praise.

Conclusion

At the very end of this story, God tells Noah, “I have set My rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life” (Genesis 9:13-15 NIV).

Every time storm clouds gather overhead, we know the clouds will eventually part. The sun will shine down on us again, and a rainbow will streak the sky. Just as God sees us through every literal storm, He will also see us through this figurative one.

“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God.”

(Psalm 42: 11 ESV)

Petty Problems

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I was supposed to fly home next weekend for my little brother’s thirteenth birthday party. This celebration would have been my first chance in over a month to escape my empty apartment and party with people I love, but COVID-19 canceled that. I found myself blinking back tears because a canceled flight isn’t something to cry about. We live in a world groaning under the weight of unemployment, sickness, and death. What is one canceled flight compared to all that?

Problem Definition

A petty problem is a problem that is relatively insignificant in comparison to others, like a child dropping their ice cream cone or missing the game of the century on live TV. It’s a problem that appears very small to others but looms large in one’s own mind.

I grew up in a loving, middle-class family, excelled academically from the cradle to college, and have never even broken a bone in my body. These facts echo in the back of my mind as I struggle to explain why I suffer such sorrow and anguish of heart. I often wonder if my problems even matter.

Problem Relativity

The issue with considering certain problems petty and others important is that there is no absolute standard for what an important problem is. The weight of a problem varies depending on a variety of factors including stage in life, personality, and circumstances.

A Biblical proverb says, “The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy” (Proverbs 14:10 ESV).  The burden of one’s problem is truly a heart matter. What can be devastating for one person—being defeated in a competition, getting fired from one’s job, or recovering from a physical ailment—can be easily managed by another and vice-versa.

A Listening Ear

However, we live in a saturated world. Tragedy is paraded through our news feeds every morning, and unique economic and social pressures threaten to kill the kindness in even the most tender of hearts. It might be a bit difficult to find someone to listen to your sob story about your beloved barbershop being closed down.

But God loves us so much He has counted every hair on our heads (Matthew 10:30).  If God pays attention to issues too petty for most of us to even care about ourselves, it follows that He considers any that have the power to weigh our hearts down.

Conclusion

The book of Psalms says, “the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18 ESV). He is here to listen if we need to cry over the loss of a loved one or the canceling of a Netflix subscription. For our big God, no problem is too small.

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.”

(1 Peter 5:7 NLT)

Loneliness

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I had envisioned graduate school would be a much needed fresh start after my exhausting senior year of undergrad. I’d take informative classes, conduct exciting research, and form lasting friendships. But the reality was far less glamorous than I had imagined.

I found myself slaving away at a project that was six months behind schedule. I also formed connections a lot slower than I thought I would. During my first year of graduate school, I felt crushingly alone.

The Source of Loneliness

 I think that all loneliness stems from a sense of distance. The distance can be physical, such as geographical separation or different waking hours, or it can be emotional. A season when you feel harried and harassed while everyone else seems carefree and relaxed, for instance, can be a source of loneliness.

The opposite of loneliness is togetherness, a feeling of “affectionate closeness” [thesaurus.com]. Initiating connection, checking up on an old friend or grabbing lunch with an acquaintance, cultivates togetherness, but this principle might ring a bit hollow during the middle of a pandemic. Are we doomed to suffer alone because our government mandates we stay apart?

The Solution to Loneliness

From the beginning of the New Testament, the author of the book of Matthew speaks of Jesus as “Emmanuel”, meaning “God with us” (Matthew 1:23). I envy the disciples who walked the earth with Jesus Christ. They saw, heard, and touched God in the flesh. It’s hard to imagine they doubted that God was really with them!

But right before Jesus left the earth, he spoke of sending his disciples a helper “who would be with them forever” (John 14:16 ESV). This helper is the Holy Spirit, and God gives Him to all believers (Galatians 4:6).

Alone Together

The modern church does not emphasize the Holy Spirit as it once used to, leaving the concept unfamiliar or even creepy to many people. But He is the ultimate manifestation of God with us today. God was not satisfied with looking down on us from above or even walking beside us here on earth. He decided that His chief residence after the resurrection would be within each of us. This means that no matter what we’re going through or where we are, He is still with us.

The one thing that kept me going through my lonely first year of graduate school was the closeness of God. As I spent days turning wrenches and nights crying out to my heavenly Father, I experienced the tangible presence of the Holy Spirit within me. He was an ever-present friend in the absence of community, and during this pandemic, as I find myself alone once more, He is still with me.

Conclusion

If you are struggling with loneliness during this season, know that the Holy Spirit “can be the friend that sticks closer to you than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24 ESV). Maybe social distancing was just the space God needed to draw near to you.

“And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

 Romans 5:5 ESV