Tag: complaining

Biking Up the Hills of Life

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I lived in Austin, Texas for three years. I never owned a car. Biking was my favorite mode of locomotion, and I remember many Saturday afternoons where I cursed myself as I returned from Half Price Books with a backpack weighed down by novels. The city is built on hilly terrain, and those knee-straining, sweat-inducing heartbreakers taught me many valuable life lessons.

Position Warps Perspective

Firstly, position warps perspective. Asaph the Psalmist once said, “When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before You” (Psalm 73:21-22). That was certainly true for me as I labored up those merciless mountains. Two thousand feet felt more like two thousand miles. As joggers galloped past me, I would lament, “This hill never ends.” But no hill in the world extends forever.

Oxford defines a valley as “a low area of land between hills or mountains.” This may seem pretty obvious, but all too often, we struggle out of valleys without remembering that a mountaintop awaits us if we keep on climbing.

Hills Build Endurance

Secondly, hills build endurance. My perfect city would have biking lanes you can drive a bus through, speed limits of thirty or lower (even on highways), and roads flatter than the horizon. Flat streets are my biking Red Bull: They give me wings. I fly down them, cranking up the gears as I zoom through green lights. But running (which shares many commonalities with biking) coach Laura Fountain said, “Running up hills builds strength and power in your legs, which, as well as helping you bound up hills like a mountain goat, will transfer into faster speeds on flats too.”

This principle is not just true in exercise but in life as well. The Apostle James said, “Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing” (James 1:2-4). If we never train ourselves to endure challenging circumstances now, we’ll remain unprepared for them when they arise in the future. And they will come, steep mountains that no loved one can carry us over and no one can be paid to scale for us.

Descents Grant Rest

Lastly, descents grant rest. If you are riding a bike without a gear system, you’ll quickly realize that pedaling while traveling downhill is a wasted venture. You should just rest your legs and let gravity do the work. This same truth also applies to life. When we spend our vacations catching up on work or off days running errands, we are trying to furiously pedal downhill. The sage King Solomon once said, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). There is a time to work and a time to rest, a time to strive and a time to recline. We bike the race of life the best when we learn how to distinguish which is which.

Conclusion

Since I’ve moved out of Austin, I’ve lived in many cities and owned many bikes. Much to my consternation, I’ve discovered that hills are everywhere! They’re found in sunny California and windy Indiana, in steaming Texas and storming Virginia. And no matter how long we live, the hills of life will keep on popping up. But if we learn how to approach them with right perspective, climb them with right endurance, and descend them with right repose, we may just live to bike another day.

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”

(James 1:12-14)

Happy Heart, Happy Life

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I read a proverb last week that said, “For the despondent, every day brings trouble; for the happy heart, life is a continual feast” (Proverbs 15:15). And I paused to soak in this truth.

Five years ago, I would have said that 60% of happiness is caused by circumstances, 30% genetics, and 10% or less by choice. And many people would agree with this sentiment. “I’m unhappy because I have an anal boss, a horrible wife, and terrible kids.” “I’m unhappy because I’m not married yet and I don’t have a six-figure salary yet and I haven’t retired yet.” We believe our emotions are tethered to our wind-blown circumstances.

But science has shown that only 10% of our happiness is tied to our circumstances. Of the remaining 90%, 50% is related to our genes, and the remaining 40% is up to our conscious choices.

There are many articles out there that list ways to feel happier. A quick Google search will reveal titles like “25 Ways to Feel Happier in the Next Five Minutes” and “4 Proven Ways You Can Feel Happier.” But we often don’t spend enough time diagnosing why we’re feeling sad in the first place.

A Complaining Heart

A major culprit is complaining. Complaining is more than the words we say or the thoughts we harbor. Grumbling is an attitude of the spirit that silently paints the way we view the world. When I allow my mind to focus on the negative aspects of my life, I will minimize the positive. Most of us can allow one single thing going wrong in our lives to negate all the things that are going well. We may have amazing work-life balance but not be making as much as our wealthy neighbors. We might have two children who are successful but one who is struggling to find their way. God’s grace is so emphatic that most things tend to be going well at most times, but we struggle to thank Him because not everything is going well all the time.

A Jealous Heart

The second major culprit is comparison. One of the most gripping stories in the New Testament takes place after Jesus’ resurrection. As He’s walking by the Sea of Galilee with His disciples, Jesus told Peter he would suffer a horrible death. Peter immediately pointed at another disciple and asked, “What about him?”

Jesus replied, “What does that have to do with you? You follow me” (John 21:18-22)!

God has a chosen lot for each of us: Poverty or riches, sickness or health, tragedy or glory. Forest Gump really was right to say, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’ll get.” But God fashioned us specially for the box we received. Even though we think that trading our box for another’s will make us happier, we don’t know if it will make us better. And, just maybe, forcing down a couple bittersweet squares is the only way our palate can be prepared to savor a Maltese truffle.

Conclusion

The title for this article was inspired by the popular saying: “Happy wife, happy life.” As the saying implies, good life circumstances can buoy our emotions. Getting married, winning the lottery, or having a baby can all temporarily increase our happiness. But if your heart holds onto sadness, your quality of life will plummet back down to earth eventually. However, if your heart stores up joy, come rain or sunshine, you really can have a happy life.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

(1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Food for Thought (40 Years of Muttering with Moses Pt. 6)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For Part 1 on “Hope or Hopelessness”, click here; Part 2, “Between an Army and a Watery Grave”, click here; Part 3, “Bitter Sweet”, click here; Part 4, “Worth the Wait”, click here. Lastly, for Part 5, “Spies and Lies”, click here.

The long days of the Israelites’ divinely-ordained road trip ate at them. After weeks of consuming manna for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, the people complained to Moses, “‘If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna’” (Numbers 11:4b-6)!

The Food They Used to Eat

Egypt clearly had its perks: homes to live in, luxuries to enjoy, and delicious food to munch on. But by maximizing the good, the Israelites neglected the horrific aspects of Egypt. Egypt had been the source of their suffering, oppression, and decades of slavery.

For all of us sequestered away in lockdown, we’ve lost access to some key joys of life. We miss hangout nights with our pals, glorious getaways to faraway locals, and coffee breaks with colleagues. But as we lament our current circumstances, we may be making the same mistake as the Israelites. When God plucked us out of Egypt and placed us in the wilderness, He may have rescued us from the bad influences we used to surround ourselves with or the expensive trips we financed with credit cards and Hail Mary prayers or the gossip we inhaled as we sipped our cappuccinos.

The Food They Were Eating

More than neglecting the bad God rescued the Israelites out of, the Israelites neglected the good the LORD provided for them in the wilderness. Manna was bread from heaven, a consistent source of sustenance in the middle of a barren wasteland. The LORD fed the Israelites faithfully day by day for the forty years they were unable to feed themselves (Exodus 16:35).

We also may be sniffing our noses at our God-given bread from heaven. We’re lucky to be able to spend our isolation alone together, with sophisticated communication technology to bring our far-flung loved ones one click away. We’re fortunate to have an advanced infrastructure that allows our children to receive a modicum of education from the safety of our homes. And we’re blessed that almost half of America was able to transition to working virtually at such short notice.

The Food They Would Eat

Lastly, the Israelites forgot where they were going. The Promised Land was a country flowing with milk and honey (Exodus 3:8, 3:17, 13:5…), a land of “wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates and olive oil” (Deuteronomy 8:8). It was a bread basket even deeper than Egypt (Deuteronomy 11:10-12).

The LORD God gives good gifts, and He adds no sorrow with them (Proverbs 10:22). Even though He may have taken us away from the luxuries of Egypt and is leading us through the waterless desert, He will deliver us into a better country. In this new homeland, we’ll be free to live and eat without the shackles of our past slavery.

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten– the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm — My great army that I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the LORD your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will My people be shamed.”
(Joel 2:25-26 NIV)