Wrestling with Laban (The Jacob Within Pt. 2)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For part 1, “Wrestling with Esau”, click here.

Jacob is by far the most treacherous, backstabbing person I encountered in the book of Genesis, until I read about his uncle Laban. Laban took the tools of the trade to a whole new level.

First, he agreed for Jacob to marry his younger daughter Rachel after serving him for seven years. But he swapped out Rachel for her older sister Leah on her wedding night. Then he forces Jacob to serve him for another seven years to marry Rachel (Genesis 29:15-30). After that, Laban agreed that Jacob would serve him for seven more years for the mottled members of his flocks. But the very day they make this deal, Laban set all the mottled members of his flock with his own sons and left the whole-colored ones with Jacob (Genesis 30:31-36). Seven years later, after Laban has changed the terms of their agreement ten times, Jacob finally confronts Laban about how he’s treated him for the past two decades.

 Like Jacob, many of us may be facing unfair circumstances at the moment: a cruel boss, ungrateful children, or an irritable spouse. The way Jacob responded to Laban’s mistreatment taught me a number of valuable lessons about handling similar adversity.

Integrity

To begin his hot-blooded litany of indignation, Jacob said, “‘For twenty years I have been with you, caring for your flocks. In all that time your sheep and goats never miscarried. In all those years I never used a single ram of yours for food. If any were attacked and killed by wild animals, I never showed you the carcass and asked you to reduce the count of your flock. No, I took the loss myself'” (Genesis 31:38-39a NLT)!

Bitter circumstances can strongly tempt us to cut corners. It can be easy to claim a handful of hours we didn’t work or embellish the effort we put into a project, but Jacob didn’t allow his frustration to pervert his integrity. He was honest about the mistakes he made and fulfilled the work he was called to do.

Dedication

Jacob continued, “‘I worked for you through the scorching heat of the day and through cold and sleepless nights'” (Genesis 31:40 NLT). Jacob worked so hard that he spent many sleepless nights vigilantly watching Laban’s flock. Going the extra mile for a good person is always good. But the measure of every man and woman is not how they serve those who treat them well, but those who treat them like yesterday’s garbage (Matthew 5:44-46).

Grace

Jacob wrapped up his harangue by saying, “‘If the God of my father had not been on my side…you would have sent me away empty-handed'” (Genesis 31:42a NLT). Jacob knew the reason for his success was not his hard work itself but the God who blessed his hard work. He understood that God was the ultimate leveler. Only He can consistently bring joy out of our pain and transform injustice into good fortune.

Conclusion

After this speech, Jacob and Laban made a peace treaty (Genesis 31:51-52). It’s astounding that Laban let’s Jacob go after his frustrated diatribe. But what I find even more amazing is that once he becomes rich and powerful, Jacob never returned to exact revenge on Laban. Years later, Jacob said that God was the one who answered his prayers when he was distressed and had been with him wherever he went (Genesis 35:3). He learned over time to let God be God, guiding him, providing for him, and vindicating him in His own time.

“Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly.”

(1 Peter 2:18-19 ESV)

Wrestling with Esau (The Jacob Within Pt. 1)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Jacob was the grandson of Abraham. He was Isaac’s second son, but God chose him above his older brother Esau, before he was even born, to carry on the lineage of his grandfather (Romans 9:10-13). Yet Jacob spent his entire life wrestling with his brother, his uncle, and even God Himself. Jacob’s epic wrestling match with his brother is where we will pick up today.

Background

Jacob and his brother Esau were twins, born minutes apart. But by virtue of being the firstborn, Esau inherited the familial birthright. The value of the birthright included headship over his siblings, an inheritance far larger than his brothers, and many other benefits. But from the day of his birth, grasping the heel of his older brother, Jacob sought to usurp Esau.

First, he exacted Esau’s birthright from him in exchange for a bowl of stew (Genesis 25:29-33). Then Jacob pretended to be his older brother and robbed Esau of Isaac’s deathbed blessing for him (Genesis 27:1-40)! These acts sent Esau into an insatiable rage that he only controlled by vowing to murder Jacob once their father passed away (Genesis 27:41).

Jacob was forced to flee to a far away country and stay with his uncle for twenty years. On his way back to his family and his homeland, he sent word to Esau that he was coming back, and Esau marched out to meet him with four hundred warriors galloping in his wake.

This story resonated with me during our present-day situation. We have two parties divided by deep wounds: one side filled with quaking terror, the other with burning anger. The only natural resolution seems to be violence, but I believe we can glean some knowledge about the right path to reconciliation from Jacob’s encounter with his older brother.

Appeasement

Jacob’s first response was to send his brother a bribe. He sent Esau “two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, thirty female camels with their young, forty cows and ten bulls, and twenty female donkeys and ten male donkeys. He put them in the care of his servants, each herd by itself, and said to his servants, ‘Go ahead of me, and keep some space between the herds'” (Genesis 32:14-16 NIV).

The gift that Jacob sent Esau was of immense value back then. It was like the twelve days of Christmas with the first present being a priceless, gold Rolex and it only getting better from there! But Esau didn’t send a messenger ahead to thank Jacob for this lavish gesture. As these presents arrived, he set them in tow behind him as his warriors galloped closer.

In parallel manner, neither trinkets nor tokenism can heal the damage of hundreds of years of slavery nor can it fix decades of police brutality. At worse, these gestures can inflame those they are trying to appease.

Damage Control

Next, Jacob divided all he had into two camps thinking, “‘If Esau comes and attacks one group, the group that is left may escape'” (Genesis 32:8 NIV).

This strategy may possess a shred of hope in an open space where one has room to flee. But where do you run when your locked in the same cell as your executioner? Black people, white people, and police officers are all Americans. We are bound by our shared heritage. Further, the riots and property damage that have already bubbled up show that mitigation can only go so far in quelling the furious masses.

Conclusion

At this point in the story, it seems like Jacob was just waiting to be slaughtered. Esau arrived the next morning with his army of warriors, and Jacob went out to meet him. He bowed before his brother seven times, not sure if he’d live to see the next hour, but Esau’s response is remarkable. He ran to his brother and hugged him (Genesis 33:4)! The Bible never explicitly says what transformed Esau’s boiling rage to gushing affection, but it is clear he needed to see his brother face-to-face.

If these past several weeks, these past several decades even, have revealed anything, it’s that the ugly beast of racism cannot be ignored, appeased, or contained. We must come to one another, face to face, and dialogue if we are to ever embrace brotherhood.

“’Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.'”

(Matthew 5:23-24 NIV)

Out of the Depths (Unreliable Idols Pt. 4)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

This the fourth and final article in a series on unreliable idols. For Part 1 on Fame, click here. Part 2 on Fortune, click here. Part 3 on Freedom, click here.

There once lived a man named Jonah. He was a well-known prophet of God who preached to royalty (2 Kings 14:23-25) and was even spoken of by Jesus Himself (Matthew 12:40-12:41, Matthew 16:4). But he too struggled with an idol in his heart: his homeland of Israel. 

The LORD called him to preach a message of judgment and repentance to Assyria, the empire that was oppressing their nation, but Jonah fled by boat in the opposite direction (Jonah 1:1-3). When the judgment of God caught up with him in the form of a mighty storm, he tried to commit suicide by having himself flung into the sea (Jonah 1:4-15). But God sent a large fish to swallow him (Jonah 1:17). At his lowest, engulfed by the consequences of his idolatry, he uttered a prayer to God that I found deeply moving.

Speak to God

Jonah begins his prayer, “In my distress I called to the LORD, and he answered me. From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help, and you listened to my cry.” (Jonah 2:1 NIV).

From his watery grave, Jonah cries out to God. He recognizes that even in this deep pit, God can still hear him, and from there God can still rescue him.

Speak to Yourself

In Jonah 2:3, Jonah speaks of the torment he’s in. He says, “You hurled me into the depths, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me; all your waves and breakers swept over me.” He doesn’t pretend everything’s alright; he admits his anguish. But he doesn’t stop there.

He says he told himself, “‘”I have been banished from your sight; yet I will look again toward your holy temple”‘” (Jonah 2:4 NIV). Jonah encourages himself with what he knows to be true. He knew daybreak would follow his long night. He knew he would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living even while clutched by the jaws of death. Etched into the fabric of his heart was the knowledge that the God he served was faithful, even when he wasn’t (2 Timothy 2:13).

Speak to Your Idols

Lastly, Jonah says, “‘Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love. But I with the voice of thanksgiving will sacrifice to you; what I have vowed I will pay. Salvation belongs to the LORD'” (Jonah 2:8-9 NIV)! Jonah finally saw his idols for what they truly were: Vain, useless, and utterly unreliable. They could not satisfy him, save him, or fulfill his heart’s desires the way God could.

We too must come to a place where we can speak this truth about our own idols. Fame, fortune, freedom, or anything else in this entire world cannot fill the God-shaped hole in our hearts.

Conclusion

After this prayer, God spoke to the large fish that had swallowed Jonah, and it vomited him onto dry ground (Jonah 2:10). God then recommissioned Jonah to fulfill the mission He’d given him in the first place, the one he’d vowed to fulfill while in the belly of the deep (Jonah 3:1-2).

This commission can be the hardest part of the journey. When we’re at our lowest, we may cry out to God, recognize our idols, and even vow to be the parent, spouse, or employee we’d once set out to be. But once God sets us back on the shore, following through with that decision is a daily test. We must continue setting one foot in front of the other, leaving our idols behind and straining to grasp the God in front of us.

He is waiting for us with open arms.

“O Israel, stay away from idols! I am the one who answers your prayers and cares for you. I am like a tree that is always green; all your fruit comes from me.”

(Hosea 14:8 NLT)

Freedom (Unreliable Idols Pt. 3)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

This the third article in a series on unreliable idols. For Part 1 on Fame, click here. For Part 2 on Fortune, click here.

Freedom is the bedrock of the United States. From the Declaration of Independence to the Bill of Rights to the Emancipation Proclamation, citizens of the United States have experienced tremendous freedoms, both collective and individual.

As an American nomad, I’ve especially grown accustomed to the free life. I bed down in a location for a few years, accomplish what I’ve come to do, and move on to the next. In the past ten years, I’ve moved five times, and I’ve maintained my freedom: I have no girl back home, no children to return to, no strings attached.

Idol of Freedom

According to dictionary.com, freedom is “exemption from external control”, the ability to do what you want to do when you want to do it. Freedom is a blessing, one that many stuck-at-home mothers are understandably craving right now. But the moment freedom becomes tantamount, it become an idol.

When your own personal freedoms become more important than anyone else’s (eg watching what you want on TV even when it’s inappropriate for your children, eating what you want even when your spouse is concerned about your weight, or working when you want even if it’s inconvenient for your coworkers), you have made your personal good your god and become a slave to your desires.

True Freedom

Living a life dedicated to yourself ultimately leads to death. It will poison your friendships, your marriage, and, ironically, your personal well-being. But living for others leads to life in these same areas (Romans 6:20-22).

I wasn’t completely truthful when I said I have no strings attached. I have family I visit, friends I call, and a community I serve. These connections do drain my resources and restrict the way I live my life, but they give so much more than they take. I would be adrift without them.

Conclusion

A morning spent sleeping in, an afternoon wasted lazing around the house, or an evening devoted to a good movie is not innately sinful. A disproportionate amount of people today are genuinely in need of these things. But we must also remember to play with our children, romance our spouses, and love our neighbors.

Galatians 5:13 says, “For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.” Freedom is found in service to others specifically because it frees us from the “tyranny of me”. Selflessness expands our circle of care beyond ourselves and provides us the joy and satisfaction we are truly looking for.

“Jesus said to the people who believed in Him, ‘You are truly My disciples if you remain faithful to My teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

(John 8:31-32 NLT)

Outrage

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I first witnessed the murder of Ahmaud Arbery in a Twitter post with the hashtag #imatotalpieceofshi—. This encounter revealed something deeply troubling in the American psyche, but I shoved the notion away. Like Muhammad Ali circling Joe Frazier in the ring, I knew this issue would rock me to my core if I allowed it get too close. But it can wait no longer. This tragedy demands a response.

Background on Ahmaud Arbery

Ahmaud Arbery was pursued and gunned down by two armed white men while he was out jogging. That murder occurred back in February. His killers walked free until national outcry forced the local authorities to respond three months later.

Outrage Definition

Outrage is the matching of an intense feeling of violent anger with an uncontrollable need to express it. Many have exploded at the racist extremism of these two gunmen. But far fewer have voiced indignation over the indifferent community that allowed them to go unpunished for so long.

The Outrage of the Cross

Another man was treated with contempt belying His worth when He walked this earth: Jesus Christ. The Son of God was reviled like a criminal (Matthew 27:38-44), abused like an animal (Isaiah 53:3-5), and buried like a mere mortal (Isaiah 53:9). During this bleak moment, a couple of His closest friends betrayed Him (Matthew 26:48-50) and denied Him (Mark 14:70-72). But the rest simply looked on as the grossest injustice in history was committed before their very eyes (Luke 23:44-49). The story of Jesus Christ demonstrates that apathy is not the exception but the natural state of our hearts.

From Outrage to Healing

The gospel of Jesus Christ is not a hijacking of or a mere addendum to the issue of racial reconciliation. It sits at its very core. The only way an apathetic people can experience conviction and an outraged community attain forgiveness is through a transfusion of the healing blood of Jesus.

Ephesians 2:16 says, “Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of His death on the cross, and our hostility toward each other was put to death.” The author was referring to first century Jews and Greeks, but how much more in need of reconciliation are twenty-first century blacks and whites?

Conclusion

Jesus Christ Himself is our peace. He transforms foreigners into neighbors and our foes into friends. So close is the unity of the faith that Jesus calls us His brothers and sisters (Matthew 12:49)! But even as Christians, we still see color.

Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream of “little black children holding hands with little white children” was not only deeply poetic but also richly biblical. The book of Revelation speaks of a day when a great multitude from every nation, tribe, and tongue will praise God together (Revelation 7:9). Diversity will no longer be a moat of division but a fount of inspiration, manifesting the multifaceted creativity of our Maker. That dream is brought ever closer when we extend our arms to our enemies and love them as our family.

“‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.'”

(Matthew 5:43-44 ESV)

Fortune (Unreliable Idols Pt. 2)

This the second article in a series on unreliable idols. For Part 1 on Fame, click here.

Money may be the most misunderstood idol worshiped today. Many of the patriarchs of the Bible—Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, Solomon, and others—were both rich and righteous. The problem with money is not desiring it but greed, which is loving it more than anything else.

Idol of Fortune

In the book of 1 Timothy, Apostle Paul tells his son in the faith to “instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy” (1 Timothy 6:17 NASB). This verse addresses two common drivers behind money accrual: Provision and pleasure.

Money as Provision

No one accumulates wealth simply for the sake of having money. Money has very little actual value (a $100 bill costs ten cents to print). Money is valuable because of what it represents, and for many that is security.

I have a friend who grew up watching his parents discuss the mounting bills they had to pay many nights. One of his primary reasons for obtaining an engineering degree was never having to worry like his parents constantly did.

The problem with that mindset is that money, just like every other idol, is unreliable. One needs to look no further than this financial crisis to understand how a mountain of cash can transform into a valley of debt overnight.

Money as Pleasure

Many of us agree with the popular adage, “Money can’t buy you happiness,” yet we don’t live it out. We believe that obtaining that car, house, or vacation will fulfill us.

King Solomon, the richest man on the face of the planet during his lifetime (1 Kings 10:23), put that theory to the test. Here is a small subset of the things he used his money to buy: luxurious homes, legions of servants, exclusive live entertainment, and the most beautiful women in the world (Ecclesiastes 2:4-8). Yet he said, “When I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind” (Ecclesiastes 2:11a ESV).

Solomon recognized that there was a yearning in his heart that material possessions couldn’t satisfy. There was something more than the natural, something supernatural, that his heart desired.

God of Provision and Pleasure

Jesus said the Father knows our needs and will always meet them—if only we keep our priorities straight (Matthew 6:22-23). More than that, He promises to provide us ample resources to enjoy life.

As 1 Timothy 6:17 says, God richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. This promise may not guarantee us a six-figure salary or an island in the Caribbean, but it does secure us what our hearts truly desire: the presence of God Himself. For in God’s presence there is “fullness of joy” and “pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).

Conclusion

If life has robbed you of your resources, know that you don’t have to hold out until you’re financially stable to experience security. You don’t have to hang on until you’re rich to be deeply satisfied. Our heavenly Father is offering you both blessings today if you are willing to exchange your idol for Him.

“I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.”

(Psalm 16:8-9 ESV)

Fame (Unreliable Idols Pt.1)

Tragedy is the hot butter knife of life. It slices through lies and delusions, stopping just short of the heart. The content of those vessels, the idols we build our lives around, will be the topic of my next few articles. They are inspired by the book Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller.

Idol Definition

An idol is anything we rank first in our lives that is not God. It can range from material blessings to cherished relationships or grand ideals. At first blush, building your life around any one of these concepts may not seem like a bad idea. After the boom of Existentialism following World War II, that philosophy became the creed of the land: You live for what you want to live for, and I’ll live for what I want to live for. But this lifestyle will always lead to tragic consequences.

The Idol of Fame

I have always felt the need to be “somebody”. I’m a middle child, and I remember a period of my childhood when my older brother was nearing high school graduation and my younger brother was struggling with elementary school. I felt invisible. I had my own struggles and challenges but no one to share them with. I believe I secretly desire to become so important that that can never happen again.

Many other sources can fuel a desire to be known. Being perpetually passed over for promotions, living in the shadow of a family member, or a supersized ego can all stoke a need to become well-known.

The God of Fame

In the book of Galatians, the Apostle Paul says the believer is “known” by God (Galatians 4:9). The tremendous power of this statement is often overlooked. Consider how impactful it would be for an aspiring basketball player to be mentored by Lebron James. Their relationship with The King would likely give them security in their skill as a basketball player, no matter what anyone else thinks about them. In like manner, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords knows us.

God’s relationship with us surpasses head knowledge, even mentorship. The Apostle John goes so far as to say that God loves us as “His children” (1 John 3:1). We should rest securely knowing that our number one fan is God Himself!

Conclusion

In the book of Ecclesiastes, King Solomon speaks of a poor, wise man who delivers his besieged city from a great king. But this man is soon forgotten (Ecclesiastes 9:14-15). Like this man, no matter how impactful we are, we will all eventually be forgotten in this world.

However, we will be remembered in the world hereafter, and we will know the audience that has been watching us all this time, just as He knows us.

“Dear friends, we are already God’s children, but He has not yet shown us what we will be like when Christ appears. But we do know that we will be like Him, for we will see him as He really is.”
(1 John 3:2 NLT)

Noah & COVID-19

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I recently reread the story of Noah, and the remarkable parallels between his situation and ours amazed me. I’ve learned three useful lessons from Noah’s response to his challenging circumstances.

Background

Noah lived in a time of great wickedness on the earth. Humanity had grown so corrupt that God decided to wipe out every living creature (Genesis 6:5-7)! However, God chose to save Noah, his family and a pair of every living creature (Genesis 6:18-19). He commanded Noah to build an ark for this purpose, and shortly after he completed it, the Lord sent a flood on the earth.

Watch Willingly

Just like us, Noah and his family were also trapped in a closed environment for an extended period of time. According to the Biblical account, their isolation lasted over a year (Genesis 7:11, Genesis 8:14)! Noah’s first recorded response to this crisis was to measure how his situation was progressing. He repeatedly sent out birds to gauge how quickly the flood was subsiding from the earth (Genesis 8:6-12).

It can be tempting to bury our heads in the sand and insulate ourselves until this pandemic blows over. But someday we will return to work, our kids will return to school, and many aspects of life will return to normal. If we have no idea when that will occur, we will not be able to restart effectively.

Wait Patiently

On the first day of the year following the flood, Noah removed the roof of the ark and saw that the surface of the ground was dry (Genesis 8:13). I expected him to immediately open wide the floodgates and spill out of the ark, family in tow. But he waited two more months before he finally left (Genesis 8:14).

Our economy is crashing, our savings are tanking, and our plans are crumpling in our grasps. We may be tempted to disregard government regulations during this stressful time. But just as disastrous as Noah leaving the ark when only the top of the ground was dry would have been, so too will be the consequences of breaking social distancing guidelines before health professionals advise us to.

Worship Readily

Lastly, Noah built an altar and worshiped God as soon as he left the ark (Genesis 8:20). This may sound counterintuitive. Why worship a God who allowed such a calamity to happen in the first place?

Having a job during this season of rampant unemployment, possessing savings to stave off need, or receiving a stimulus check from the government are all good gifts from God (James 1:17). Though we may not know why He allowed this tragedy in the first place, His provision up until today is certainly worthy of praise.

Conclusion

At the very end of this story, God tells Noah, “I have set My rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life” (Genesis 9:13-15 NIV).

Every time storm clouds gather overhead, we know the clouds will eventually part. The sun will shine down on us again, and a rainbow will streak the sky. Just as God sees us through every literal storm, He will also see us through this figurative one.

“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God.”

(Psalm 42: 11 ESV)

Petty Problems

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I was supposed to fly home next weekend for my little brother’s thirteenth birthday party. This celebration would have been my first chance in over a month to escape my empty apartment and party with people I love, but COVID-19 canceled that. I found myself blinking back tears because a canceled flight isn’t something to cry about. We live in a world groaning under the weight of unemployment, sickness, and death. What is one canceled flight compared to all that?

Problem Definition

A petty problem is a problem that is relatively insignificant in comparison to others, like a child dropping their ice cream cone or missing the game of the century on live TV. It’s a problem that appears very small to others but looms large in one’s own mind.

I grew up in a loving, middle-class family, excelled academically from the cradle to college, and have never even broken a bone in my body. These facts echo in the back of my mind as I struggle to explain why I suffer such sorrow and anguish of heart. I often wonder if my problems even matter.

Problem Relativity

The issue with considering certain problems petty and others important is that there is no absolute standard for what an important problem is. The weight of a problem varies depending on a variety of factors including stage in life, personality, and circumstances.

A Biblical proverb says, “The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy” (Proverbs 14:10 ESV).  The burden of one’s problem is truly a heart matter. What can be devastating for one person—being defeated in a competition, getting fired from one’s job, or recovering from a physical ailment—can be easily managed by another and vice-versa.

A Listening Ear

However, we live in a saturated world. Tragedy is paraded through our news feeds every morning, and unique economic and social pressures threaten to kill the kindness in even the most tender of hearts. It might be a bit difficult to find someone to listen to your sob story about your beloved barbershop being closed down.

But God loves us so much He has counted every hair on our heads (Matthew 10:30).  If God pays attention to issues too petty for most of us to even care about ourselves, it follows that He considers any that have the power to weigh our hearts down.

Conclusion

The book of Psalms says, “the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18 ESV). He is here to listen if we need to cry over the loss of a loved one or the canceling of a Netflix subscription. For our big God, no problem is too small.

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.”

(1 Peter 5:7 NLT)

Loneliness

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I had envisioned graduate school would be a much needed fresh start after my exhausting senior year of undergrad. I’d take informative classes, conduct exciting research, and form lasting friendships. But the reality was far less glamorous than I had imagined.

I found myself slaving away at a project that was six months behind schedule. I also formed connections a lot slower than I thought I would. During my first year of graduate school, I felt crushingly alone.

The Source of Loneliness

 I think that all loneliness stems from a sense of distance. The distance can be physical, such as geographical separation or different waking hours, or it can be emotional. A season when you feel harried and harassed while everyone else seems carefree and relaxed, for instance, can be a source of loneliness.

The opposite of loneliness is togetherness, a feeling of “affectionate closeness” [thesaurus.com]. Initiating connection, checking up on an old friend or grabbing lunch with an acquaintance, cultivates togetherness, but this principle might ring a bit hollow during the middle of a pandemic. Are we doomed to suffer alone because our government mandates we stay apart?

The Solution to Loneliness

From the beginning of the New Testament, the author of the book of Matthew speaks of Jesus as “Emmanuel”, meaning “God with us” (Matthew 1:23). I envy the disciples who walked the earth with Jesus Christ. They saw, heard, and touched God in the flesh. It’s hard to imagine they doubted that God was really with them!

But right before Jesus left the earth, he spoke of sending his disciples a helper “who would be with them forever” (John 14:16 ESV). This helper is the Holy Spirit, and God gives Him to all believers (Galatians 4:6).

Alone Together

The modern church does not emphasize the Holy Spirit as it once used to, leaving the concept unfamiliar or even creepy to many people. But He is the ultimate manifestation of God with us today. God was not satisfied with looking down on us from above or even walking beside us here on earth. He decided that His chief residence after the resurrection would be within each of us. This means that no matter what we’re going through or where we are, He is still with us.

The one thing that kept me going through my lonely first year of graduate school was the closeness of God. As I spent days turning wrenches and nights crying out to my heavenly Father, I experienced the tangible presence of the Holy Spirit within me. He was an ever-present friend in the absence of community, and during this pandemic, as I find myself alone once more, He is still with me.

Conclusion

If you are struggling with loneliness during this season, know that the Holy Spirit “can be the friend that sticks closer to you than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24 ESV). Maybe social distancing was just the space God needed to draw near to you.

“And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

 Romans 5:5 ESV