I Lost My Voice to Find My Worship

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Two years ago, I lost my singing voice. I remember the exact moment it happened. I was at a praise and worship service on a Wednesday night. My throat had already felt scratchy, but I had a job to do. I had to belt out the latest praise song louder than the on stage worship leaders. If I couldn’t hear me, clearly God couldn’t either. So I strained my voice a notch higher and something split in the back of my throat. For two years, I haven’t been able to sing for any extended amount of time without experiencing pain.

The Father is looking for worshipers who’ll worship Him in Spirit and in truth (John 4:23). Once I lost my voice, I became intent on finding out what God was really looking for.

In Truth

I’ve always loved praise and worship, ever since I was little. It doesn’t matter if it’s acoustic guitar and keyboard or clapping hands and talking drum; you’ll find me with my eyes closed, my mouth open, and my arms raised. But somewhere along the way, I found myself listening to my own voice a little too closely: Am I singing too softly or too loudly? Should I shift an octave higher or remain where I am? Is this note meant to be held or let go? I even started asking my family how they thought my singing was, as if I was the focus of praise and worship not God.

When we focus on what other people think of us, we can lose sight of our most important audience: God. I certainly did. And it wasn’t until I lost my voice that I realized I’d already lost the connection worship was supposed to be establishing in the first place.

In Spirit

Secondly, we’re supposed to worship God in Spirit. The word says “it is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all” (John 6:63). That truth applies to all of life, especially worship. When we physically worship God at our best–with clear voices, fresh chords, and perfect rhythm–that doesn’t impress Him.

It can be easy to forget that heaven is already filled with the greatest singers that’ll ever live: the angels themselves and perfected saints. Far higher quality worship continually rings out in heaven than can ever be achieved here on this earth. What serenades Him are worshipers who tap into His Spirit to give Him praise deeper than a thousand songs (Romans 8:26).

Conclusion

In losing my voice, I found a hidden blessing. My voice is the same rough, scratchy keening it’s always been. But my perspective on worship has been refreshed, and my hope is yours has been as well.

“Oh, sing to the LORD a new song! Sing to the LORD, all the earth.”

(Psalm 96:1 NKJV)

Watch God (Life After Death Pt. 3)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For Part 1, “Remembered Sin or Resurrected Faith”, click here. For Part 2, “Unexpected Gift, Unexpected Grief”, click here.

Jesus had many disciples, but He had very few friends. A man named Lazarus and his two sisters–Mary and Martha–were among these precious few. When Lazarus fell ill, his sisters sent this message to the famed miracle worker, “‘Lord, Your dear friend is very sick’” (John 11:3). Jesus should have taken off as soon as He heard. But He waited instead. And by the time He arrived in Lazarus’ hometown, His dear friend was already dead (John 11:17).

Watch, God?

If you’re anything like me, you may have noticed that this is a fairly common pattern for God. We saw the writing on the wall and begged Him to step in a long time ago: To rescue our flagging finances, our failing marriage, or our wayward children. But He didn’t show.

The prophet Elijah once mocked some false prophets who were crying out to Baal by saying, “‘You’ll have to shout louder, for surely he is a god! Perhaps he is daydreaming or relieving himself or away on a trip or asleep’” (1 Kings 18:27). But sometimes I feel like that’s my God. And that’s how Mary and Martha felt when Jesus finally arrived. They cried to Jesus, “‘If you had been here, my brother would not have died’” (John 11:21, 32).

Watch God

We’re distraught when God shows up later than we want Him to because we think He’s too late to do anything at all. When we’ve declared bankruptcy, when our spouse files for divorce, when our son or daughter overdoses, we throw in the towel. We recognize that He’s the great physician who can heal broken bones, but we forget that He’s almighty God who resurrects corpses.

Even before Lazarus was laid in the tomb, Jesus said, “‘This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it’” (John 11:4). God’s glory is not a trivial matter. Only people who worship a glorious God have glorious faith.

They pour out their life savings to wash Jesus’ feet (John 13:1-8). Tortured, imprisoned, and sawn in two, they refuse to deny the faith (Hebrews 11:35-37). They accept sleepless night and starving days just to preach the gospel (2 Corinthians 11:27). They shout with Daniel’s three friends, “Our God is able to save us from the fiery furnace, but even if He does not, we will not submit” (Daniel 3:17-18). Such faith is not built on a small God working small miracles but a great God working great wonders.

Conclusion

When Jesus came to Lazarus’ tomb, He said, “‘Take away the stone.’” But she replied, “‘Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible’” (John 11:39). Martha had already swung the white flag of defeat. There was no point in unearthing the putrid, rotting corpse. But Jesus replied, “‘Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?’” (John 11:40). The question Jesus asked Martha, He asks you today: “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?”

Do you have enough faith to roll away the stone and watch God?

“The eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.”

(2 Chronicles 16:9a NKJV)

Unexpected Gift, Unexpected Grief (Life After Death Pt. 2)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Elisha was the servant of the prophet Elijah, who was spoken of in Life After Death Pt. 1. The LORD gave him a double portion of Elijah’s powerful spirit (2 Kings 2:9-12). He exemplified this magnified ministry by multiplying bread (2 Kings 4:42-44), cleansing lepers (2 Kings 5:1-14), and even raising the dead (2 Kings 4:18-37).

Unexpected Gift

As all resurrections do, this one began with a birth. There was a wealthy woman living in the land of Shunem who noticed that Elisha passed through their village regularly. She invited the man of God into her home. Then she created a small upper room for him to stay in whenever he passed through. Blessed by her hospitality, Elisha asked what he could do for her. Recognizing that she and her husband were elderly yet childless, he promised that in a year’s time she’d have a son (2 Kings 4:8-16).

“‘O man of God, don’t deceive me and get my hopes up like that’” (2 Kings 4:16), the woman said. But sure enough, a year later she held a son in her arms.

Unexpected Grief

The infant grew from a babe cradled in his mother’s arms to a boy that could walk all by himself. But one day he ran to his father and cried, “Oh, my head, my head!” A servant carried him to his mother, and he died in her arms (2 Kings 4:18-20). The unexpected gift was replaced with unexpected grief.

The Shunammite woman traveled to the man of God. She collapsed at his feet and cried, “‘Did I ask you for a son, my lord? And didn’t I say, “Don’t deceive me and get my hopes up”’” (2 Kings 4:28)?

Like the Shunammite woman, we too have received unexpected gifts from God: a new job to work, a wife to hold, kids to raise. We might not have even asked for these things, yet God answered the desire of our hearts. He gave us a gift we cherished, then He took it away.

Unexpected Restoration

But the Shunammite woman had come to Elisha for a reason. He traveled with her back to her home. When he entered his room, he found the dead boy’s corpse lying on his bed. He cried out passionately to God, and God reached down to that precious boy and restored him back to life. Because of the Shunammite woman’s faith, a boy’s life was unexpectedly restored, a family was unexpectedly reunited, and a testimony was unexpectedly redeemed.

Conclusion

The Bible says that “every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17). God never changes. The same God who gave you a good gift yesterday is the same God who took it away today. God always has a good reason for death—of a dream, a career, or even a loved one. We may never figure out what it is here in this life. But we can rest assured that the same power that raised this woman’s son from grave is still at work today.

“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”

(Lamentations 3:22)

Stilling the Tsunami of Anxiety

By Ife J. Ibitayo

To see the original post on beamanjourney.com, click here.

It begins with the thoughts. What if they don’t like me? What if I’m not good enough? What if it’s cancer? And pretty soon I find myself flailing in a tsunami of doubt. When I was asked by my friend Pastor Stephen Law to write an article about overcoming anxiety, I laughed. It was like asking someone who’s barely learned how to tread water to teach others how to swim. But God is gracious, and He has taught me a few things about stilling this raging storm.

The Life Preserver of Prayer

Philippians 4:6 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.” Most worriers worry passively. It’s so natural that it’s like breathing and blinking to them. That is why God asks us to actively give our worries to Him through prayer.

I hated my tendency to see the thousand ways every situation could go wrong until I read a book called Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson. He wrote, “If you worry about everything, you’ll have a much higher likelihood of praying without ceasing if you simply learn to turn your worries into prayers. The Holy Spirit can redeem your anxious thoughts by using them as prayer triggers. Think of worry as a prayer alarm. Every time it goes off, you put it to prayer.” Once I discovered this gift, I realized that anxious worriers make some of the best prayer warriors. Through prayer God allows us to transform our mental suffering into spiritual blessing!

The Water Wings of the Word

Secondly, I learned that knowledge of the word of God is the best weapon to fend off the flaming darts of doubt. The Bible is more effective than more facts and data because anxiety often doesn’t stem from lack of information. I know that less than 1% of Americans suffer from glaucoma, yet I feared I might be going blind.  When layoffs swept through my company, I feared I might be let go even though they were still actively hiring in my group division. My problem was not with my head but with my heart.

When my head said I might lose my job, my heart should have said, “Look at the birds in the sky: They do not sow, or reap, or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds then. Aren’t you more valuable than they are?” (Matthew 6:26). When the threat of sickness pounded at my door, from glaucoma to an irregular heartbeat to high blood pressure—all of which I visited doctors about in the past year—I should have told myself, “By His wounds I am healed” (Isaiah 53:5). For every fearful question, God has a hopeful answer if we internalize His Word.

The Support of Other Swimmers

Lastly, anxiety thrives in a vacuum. When we speak fearful things to ourselves and answer them by ourselves, our worries will grow with time. We must expose our fears to others if we want to experience healing.

Galatians 6:2 says, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” This is not just a command to help other people carry their loads but also to allow others to shoulder ours. The level of need differs for all of us. We may need the listening ear of a trusted friend on occasion, or we may need regular, professional help depending on the severity of our anxiety. We may also slide along this spectrum depending on the season we’re going through. The key is recognizing this need and humbly admitting to someone else that we’re not alright.

Conclusion

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “We have nothing to fear except fear itself.” I used to roll my eyes at this worn-out phrase, but FDR makes a good point. He went on to define fear as “nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”

Fear really is the great enemy. It stole my joy for years and crippled my decision making. Anxiety kept me from the abundant life that God had for me, and it could be doing the same to you. Don’t let anxiety steal another minute of your happiness. Turn to God, speak to others, and start swimming down the stream of healing.

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” (Matthew 6:31-33).

Swimming Tips

  1. Start your day with a worry list. Write your worries on a sheet of paper, then title the list “God help me with…” and pray about them.
  2. Find a new verse each month that speaks to your specific anxieties and memorize it. Deuteronomy 31:6, 1 Peter 5:7, and Psalm 56:11 are all great verses to start with.
  3. Agree with someone you trust to talk regularly (daily, weekly, or monthly) about your fears and worries.

Remembered Sin or Resurrected Faith (Life After Death Pt. 1)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Death is the last villain–the final boss–in the story of our lives. Death is guaranteed for all of us, but second life is not. Resurrection is as rare as unicorns, so whenever God rescues someone from the dead, He is clearly trying to send us a message.

Remembered Sin

During the middle of a famine, Elijah—the greatest prophet of the Old Testament—was sent to live with a widow. Her son died soon after he arrived. She railed against Elijah, “‘O man of God, what have you done to me? Have you come here to point out my sins and kill my son’” (1 Kings 17:18 NLT)?

God has baked into our bones the knowledge of our own sinfulness. And when tragedy strikes, we often believe that we’re receiving our just deserts. Maybe your parents divorced and you think that if you had only been a better daughter, they might have stayed together. Maybe you have a friend who committed suicide and you wonder if you would have been able to save them if only you had cared enough to call. Maybe you’re sifting through the ruins of your own troubled life and you can’t stop seeing all the little bombs you set—the TNT of immaturity and the C-4 of pride.

This widow knew the darkness of her own heart and believed her day of reckoning had come.

Resurrected Faith

But God had a better word for her. Elijah whisked off the corpse and cried out to the LORD. The prayer of God’s righteous saints has great power while its working (James 5:16): to heal, to restore, and yes, even to raise the dead. Elijah cried out to God, and God reached down to him and restored the life of the boy he was praying over (1 Kings 17:19-22).

When Elijah returned the revived son to his mother, he said, ‘Look, your son is alive!’ Then the woman said to Elijah, ‘Now I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the Lord from your mouth is the truth’” (1 Kings 17:24). The point of the death of the widow’s son was not to emphasize her sinfulness but to strengthen her faith.

Forgotten Miracle

Yet the widow’s son had been on the verge of death once before. A few Bible verses earlier, this same widow had been preparing the last supper for her family. Using the last of the flour in her house, they were going to eat and die (1 Kings 17:12).
But then Elijah showed up on her doorstep and gave her a word from God: “‘“There will always be flour and olive oil left in your containers until the time when the Lord sends rain and the crows grow again”’” (1 Kings 17:14 NLT)!

They were living off this very miracle when the widow’s son fell ill. God’s word had already proven true while the widow’s son was still alive, yet it took his death for her to be fully convinced.

Conclusion

We will be tempted to forget God’s faithfulness from yesterday if tragedy strikes close to home tomorrow. But don’t let the miraculous grow mundane in your life. Don’t let fear override faith. Remember that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8), and every word He speaks is true.

“Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise His holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things He does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!”

(Psalm 103:1-5 NLT)

The Humility, Humiliation, and Honor of Christ

By Ife J. Ibitayo

In honor of Easter, I want to consider Apostle Paul’s explanation for why Jesus came down to earth as explained in Philippians 2:6-11.

Humility

Philippians 2:6-7a says, “Though He was God, He did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, He gave up His divine privileges; He took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being.”

Sometimes we can forget how great Jesus already was. He was the Divine, the Word of the Father. He formed all creatures, and all creatures were already subject to Him. They worshiped Him night and day in heaven, and He exalted and condemned them with a mere thought.

Yet the King above all Kings, the Lord above all Lords humbled Himself. From our point of view, this choice is utterly inexplicable. Title, power, and influence are par and parcel to worldly greatness. No earthly leader would exchange the glory of the throne for the obscurity of a manger.

But from the beginning, kingdom priorities have always been the opposite of earthly ones. In Mark 10:43-44, Jesus proclaimed that greatness was to be found through service, preeminence through submission. And He practiced what He preached. He gave up everything in order to give us everything.

Humiliation

But Jesus did not stop with humility, He stooped to humiliation. Philippians 2:7b-8 says, “When he appeared in human form, He humbled Himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.” For Jesus to relinquish His divine privileges to embrace humanity is one thing, but for Him to be mislabeled as a criminal, a miscreant, the scum of society is another thing altogether.

Prophesying about Jesus, Isaiah said, “He was pierced for our transgressions. He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5 NIV). Jesus became God’s punching bag on the cross. He endured the brutal body blows we deserved because of our sins. And the very people He suffered for thought that He–not they–was guilty (Isaiah 53:4).

Honor

Yet Jesus’ story does not end with disgrace. Philippians 2:9-11 says, “Therefore, God elevated Him to the place of highest honor and gave Him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

Notice the “therefore” in this passage. God the Father did not raise His Son to glory in spite of the humility and humiliation He endured but because of them.

In the verses proceeding this amazing passage, Apostle Paul says, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had” (Philippians 2:3-5 NLT).

Therefore we must remind ourselves daily that the path to Christlikeness is a path to glory, but we’ll find it through humility rather than hubris, and humiliation rather than exaltation.

Happy Easter!

“We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.”

(Hebrews 12:2 NLT)

Fragile Kiyomi

By Ife J. Ibitayo

My short story “Fragile Kiyomi” has been published in Issue 1, Volume 2 of Free Bundle Magazine. This short story was one of the first pieces I finished and has gone through many iterations. The heart of the story lies in answering this question: Is programed perfection as valuable as messy humanity? A free copy of it and many other wonderful stories can be found by clicking here.

Story Excerpt

The iDoll cashier waved at them. Meiko waved back enthusiastically, almost like they were long-lost relatives. Contrary to what Kiyomi had said, Hottokōrudo was a wonderful place to shop. It had underpriced gems and overpriced trash. You just had to have an eye for which was which.

Shinji spent some time looking through flannel shirts. “Should I get cream or eggshell?” he asked himself. Something jabbed him in the rear. He grimaced and tried to transform it into a grin as he turned around to face Kiyomi. Her arms were overloaded with clothes.

“Can I buy this? What about this? Or, this?” Each skirt or dress she showed him was expensive and provocative, with windows and slits in places no adult, much less a child, should reveal.

“No,” Shinji said.

“To which one?”

“All of them.”

Kiyomi threw the clothes to the ground and stomped off. Shinji was about to follow her when a hand tugged at his sleeve. “Yes, Meiko?” he asked, turning around and smiling down at her.

“Can I get this, Uncle Shinji?” Meiko showed him a bright, polka-dot dress with little flowers on the shoulders. He checked the price tag and smiled wider. “Of course.”

He felt a sharp pain as two objects bounced off his back. He spun around, and Kiyomi was glaring at him. “That’s not fair!” she yelled and sprinted out of the store.

Shinji bent down and picked up the decorative chopsticks. He grinned sheepishly at the other customers who were gawking at him. He ran to the front of the store and asked the cashier, “Can you hold on to these?” She nodded, taking the chopsticks from his hands. Shinji turned to call Meiko, but she had followed him to the front of the store. He asked the cashier, “Can you watch her–it too?”

Bad Pain, Good God, Righteous People

By Ife J. Ibitayo

“Why does a good God allow bad pain?” Christians and unbelievers alike have grappled with this tough question for generations. Our human condition makes us struggle to find purpose in pain. That is why in a parable Jesus said, “The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. But since they don’t have deep roots, they don’t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God’s word” (Matthew 13:20-21 NLT). We all have a Judas within us, and this traitor reveals himself when suffering arises.

Bad Pain

Judas cuts right to the heart of one of the main reasons we suffer. We are broken people living in a broken world with broken hearts. The English poet Alexander Pope once said, “To err is human.” The only consistent thing about us is that we’ll consistently fall short of other people’s standards, our own, and—above all—God’s.

Romans 3:23 says, “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” And to fall short of God’s glorious standard is to be subject to His holy wrath. As Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit and were condemned to death, we all have also taken a bite, and we’re subject to a thousand little deaths each day. We chronically overeat and, and the doctor diagnoses us with diabetes. Our friend sleeps in, and we miss our final exam. A stranger is texting while they’re driving, and they swerve into our lane. We suffer bad consequences because we commit evil deeds.

Good God

Yet bad things in this life cannot nullify God’s good promises. “I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end” (Jeremiah 29:11 KJV). This promise means that all suffering—caused by our sins, the sins of others, or unlucky happenstance—are part of God’s “expected end”–plan for our lives.

Romans 8:28, one of the most famous passages of scripture, reads, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Unfortunately, it is often divorced from the following verse: “For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters” (Romans 8:29 NLT).

Righteous People

The crucible of suffering, tuned to the right heat and extended for the correct duration, most quickly produces righteousness in us. Consider some of the most famous moral leaders of the past century–Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King Jr.). These leaders did not become the spiritual compasses of their respective nations in spite of the suffering they endured but because of it.

Mother Teresa ministered her whole life in some of the greatest squalor in the world. And she struggled for decades with an acute sense of abandonment by the same God she professed to serve. Martin Luther King Jr. was beaten by cops, bombed by segregationists, and terminated by a bullet to the brain.

The Son of God too was subject to a hard life. He had no place to call home (Matthew 8:20). He was rejected by his family and hometown (Mark 6:4) and persecuted by the religious leaders of His day (Matthew 12:23-24). And that’s not even mentioning the crux of Jesus’ greatest suffering here on this earth: the crucifixion.

If the Father found the crucible of suffering to be meaningful for His own perfect Son (Hebrews 5:8), how much more for His other imperfect children like us?

Conclusion

The world we live in is broken, and we are too. Bad news and bad circumstances may threaten to kill our faith. But if we can come to trust our heavenly Father “who works all things according to the counsel of His will” (Ephesians 1:11), our faith can grow along with our character.

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”

(James 1:2-4 NLT)

Money + Success + Wisdom = Happiness?

By Ife J. Ibitayo

If you had all the money, success, and wisdom in the world, would you be happy? This is the questions posed by the story of Solomon, the son of the giant-slaying King David.

Money

Solomon was filthy rich, and that’s an understatement. “Each year Solomon received about 25 tons of gold…All of King Solomon’s drinking cups were solid gold, as were all the utensils in the Palace of the Forest of Lebanon. They were not made of silver, for silver was considered worthless in Solomon’s day” (1 Kings 10:14,21 NLT)!

Solomon is your friend who only keeps Benjamins in his wallet. If you wanted McDonald’s, he’d ask you if you wanted the whole menu or the whole franchise! As we consider that kind of ridiculous wealth, visions of yachts, supercars, and mansions can wash over us, and we might be convinced that this kind of life must be a happy one.

But Solomon certainly didn’t think so. He said, “Those who love money will never have enough. How meaningless to think that wealth brings true happiness! The more you have, the more people come to help you spend it. So what good is wealth—except perhaps to watch it slip through your fingers” (Ecclesiastes 5:10-11 NLT)! Something about wealth makes it elusive. When it comes into our lap, we’ll do everything we can to cling tight to it. Yet it’ll still find a way to slip back out of our grasp. We strive after it to our detriment, hold on to it to our hurt, and agonize over its loss. Because of these truths, riches can make happiness harder to find, not easier.

Success

Now what about success? We all have innate desire to be someone, to matter. And the fulfillment of that longing is what NBA superstars and virtuoso pianists slave night and day to lay hold of. King Solomon can certainly be considered successful. He expanded his father’s empire, finished the LORD’s temple, and achieved international recognition. “King Solomon became richer and wiser than any other king on earth. People from every nation came to consult him and to hear the wisdom God had given him” (1 Kings 10:23-24 NLT). Yet this too did not satisfy Solomon.

He said, “No one remembers the former generations, and even those yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow them” (Ecclesiastes 1:11 NIV). He realized deep down that no matter how famous anyone becomes now, they will be forgotten later. Britney Spears, Donald Trump, and Michael Jordan will all be buried by the sands of time. All success is temporary and short-lived.

Wisdom

Lastly, what about wisdom? If earthly belongings or social standing don’t satisfy, what about mental acuity? Solomon definitely had this in spades. To call him a know-it-all would be a fair description because he literally knew everything. From physical nature (1 Kings 4:33) to spiritual truth (Proverbs), King Solomon had the answer to every question.

Yet he said about wisdom “I concluded that even this endeavor is like trying to chase the wind! For with great wisdom comes great frustration; whoever increases his knowledge merely increases his heartache” (Ecclesiastes 1:17b-18 NET).

For the most knowledgeable people are those who realize how little they truly know, and they are the ones that wrestle with the irreconcilable incongruities of this world. Who’s right, Einstein or Newton? What is the solution to the mind-body problem? How do you reconcile God’s complete sovereignty with man’s free will? No wonder intelligent people are the most depressed among us. Finite minds faced with infinitely complex issues are guaranteed frustration.

Happiness?

With money, success, and wisdom, the problem is the same. We can only obtain finite amounts of them to fill an infinite void within ourselves. Only an infinite source can fill an infinite sink, and there’s only one that exists. That is why Augustine said, “Our hearts are restless until they find their rest in Thee.”

“Taste and see that the LORD is good. How happy is the person who takes refuge in him!”

(Psalm 34:8 CSB)

Hope Deferred (Time & Timing Part 2)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For Part 1 on “Living in the Present”, click here.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Proverbs 13:12a NIV). The truth of this proverb resonates deep within me. I’ve waited for sicknesses to be healed, relationships to be redeemed, and dreams to be realized. Some of these have come to pass, but all too many are still waiting in the wings. This season of waiting has given me an opportunity to reflect on the stages of waiting I’ve experienced with my writing.

Hope Deferred

I’ve written stories, poems, and essays throughout my life. I’ve always had a bit of a knack for stringing words together. But it wasn’t until I reached college that I became serious about writing. I transitioned from a person who writes “seasonally” to a consistent writer.

I still remember the thrill of sending out my first short story, “An Oculus for An Oculus”, to The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction. With unbridled hope and unrealistic optimism, I mailed my piece off and excitedly looked forward to securing my first publication.

A month later, I received my first rejection. I was a bit discouraged, but I shook it off and sent out my story again, and again, and again. Soon I found I had submitted my story everywhere under the sun and then some, but I had turned up empty handed.

I convinced myself that it must have been just that story. I was a new writer after all, so I had a lot to learn. So I wrote more stories, sent them out, and received yet more rejections. No matter how hard I tried or how much I wrote, I could never break through.

Hope Fulfilled

My faith went through stages. It began with zealous prayer and great expectation. Then it transitioned into bargaining. I promised God I’d give Him the proceeds from my first publication, then the first $100 bucks I made from my writing. Then it degraded to tearful pleading as my hope sunk into the morass of disappointment.

I nearly gave up several times along the journey. Disillusionment discouraged me from wasting any more time writing. But a timely word from my parents or an encouraging personal rejection such as this one—”I see potential in your writing (which is why I pulled this one out of the slush pile to read myself instead of assigning it to an associate editor and why I provided some feedback) so please keep writing and keep submitting! I suspect you will have pro sales under your belt by the time we reopen next year.”—gave me the nudge I needed to try “just one more time.”

After seven years, over a dozen polished pieces, and hundreds of letters of rejection, I am finally published! I feel no shame saying that tears came to my eyes when I received it. Like Proverbs 13:12 goes on to say, “a dream fulfilled is a tree of life”, and this accomplishment has brought me much needed comfort and encouragement.

Conclusion

Now I’ve spent this article talking about my writing. Although it is an important passion to me, it may not be nearly as important to you as your health, finances, or your relationships. But the same principle applies.

You too probably have dreams that have been deferred far longer than you ever imagined. You might have even given up on them. But we must be careful to not interpret God’s “wait” as a “no”. If God asks us to wait on Him, to tarry long in His presence, we must not give up. God always keeps His promises. It might just take a little longer than we expected.

“‘And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to Him day and night? Will He keep putting them off? I tell you, He will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?’”

(Luke 18:7-8 NIV)

To read my first publication, “Untraditional”, click here to purchase a copy of Andromeda Spaceways Magazine Issue #81.