Love is Patient (Love Is… Part 1)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

As we slide into the month of February, I think it is an especially relevant time to consider love. What is love? What isn’t it? These are the questions I’ll be considering as we dive into 1 Corinthians 13.

When the Apostle Paul began to describe the characteristics of love, the first one he listed was “Love is patient” (1 Corinthians NIV). I believe this choice was very intentional and is an essential attribute of love.

Love or Lust

“An intense yearning for another.” Does this definition describe love or lust? Love is a powerful emotion. The Song of Solomon says that “love is as strong as death, its jealousy as unyielding as the grave” (Song of Solomon 8:6 NIV). But once again, this description could be applied just as accurately to lust. However, when lust is forced to wait, it will exact its vengeance on the object of its affection.

Consider Amnon, son of King David. He had a gorgeous, virgin half-sister named Tamar. His feelings ran so deep that he was depressed morning after morning (2 Samuel 13:4). The NKJV even says that he was losing weight over his lovesickness! After an eternity of waiting, Amnon tricked his half-sister into coming into his bedroom alone, and he raped her (2 Samuel 13:14).

When Amnon finally acquired the focus of his desire, he took out all his agonizing months of waiting upon her. Then he kicked her to the curb and went on with his life (2 Samuel 13:15-19). Amnon’s emotions were clearly lust because of the damage they wreaked upon the one he wanted.

Love, on the other hand, is longsuffering. 1 Corinthians 13 goes on to say that “love doesn’t insist on its own way”. Rather it “bears all things” and “endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:5, 7 ESV). True love takes that debt of pain that accrues while waiting and absorbs it.

Love or Wrath

In a letter to his dearly beloved son in the faith Timothy, Apostle Paul said, “This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: ‘Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners’—and I am the worst of them all. But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life” (1 Timothy 1:15-16 NLT).

Apostle Paul truly was one of the worst sinners who has ever walked this earth. He was a notorious terrorist, going door to door and dragging off believers to prison and their deaths (Acts 26:10)! He presided over their murders in broad daylight (Acts 7:57-8:1) and extended his zeal even beyond the borders of his own country (Acts 9:1-2)! But the Brother and Father of the men and women Paul destroyed waited patiently for him to see the light. They suffered long his raging persecution. And when they finally won his heart, they didn’t destroy him. Jesus welcomed this terrorist as His brother, and the Father invited this murderer into His household as His son (Romans 8:16-17).

God never exacted vengeance on Paul. Instead, He absorbed the wrath Paul deserved for his sins, and the wrath we deserve for our own, and poured it out on His beloved Son. That, that is love.

Conclusion

Love is patient. I am convinced that very few of us naturally possess this gift of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22), and none of us possess it in the measure we should. But we can start afresh today. Instead of lashing out, we can embrace. Instead of coercing more, we can demand less. And we can take the agonizing debt of pain that’s accruing and give it to God.

“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”

(Ephesians 4:2 NLT)