By Ife J. Ibitayo
I had envisioned graduate school would be a much needed fresh start after my exhausting senior year of undergrad. I’d take informative classes, conduct exciting research, and form lasting friendships. But the reality was far less glamorous than I had imagined.
I found myself slaving away at a project that was six months behind schedule. I also formed connections a lot slower than I thought I would. During my first year of graduate school, I felt crushingly alone.
The Source of Loneliness
I think that all loneliness stems from a sense of distance. The distance can be physical, such as geographical separation or different waking hours, or it can be emotional. A season when you feel harried and harassed while everyone else seems carefree and relaxed, for instance, can be a source of loneliness.
The opposite of loneliness is togetherness, a feeling of “affectionate closeness” [thesaurus.com]. Initiating connection, checking up on an old friend or grabbing lunch with an acquaintance, cultivates togetherness, but this principle might ring a bit hollow during the middle of a pandemic. Are we doomed to suffer alone because our government mandates we stay apart?
The Solution to Loneliness
From the beginning of the New Testament, the author of the book of Matthew speaks of Jesus as “Emmanuel”, meaning “God with us” (Matthew 1:23). I envy the disciples who walked the earth with Jesus Christ. They saw, heard, and touched God in the flesh. It’s hard to imagine they doubted that God was really with them!
But right before Jesus left the earth, he spoke of sending his disciples a helper “who would be with them forever” (John 14:16 ESV). This helper is the Holy Spirit, and God gives Him to all believers (Galatians 4:6).
Alone Together
The modern church does not emphasize the Holy Spirit as it once used to, leaving the concept unfamiliar or even creepy to many people. But He is the ultimate manifestation of God with us today. God was not satisfied with looking down on us from above or even walking beside us here on earth. He decided that His chief residence after the resurrection would be within each of us. This means that no matter what we’re going through or where we are, He is still with us.
The one thing that kept me going through my lonely first year of graduate school was the closeness of God. As I spent days turning wrenches and nights crying out to my heavenly Father, I experienced the tangible presence of the Holy Spirit within me. He was an ever-present friend in the absence of community, and during this pandemic, as I find myself alone once more, He is still with me.
Conclusion
If you are struggling with loneliness during this season, know that the Holy Spirit “can be the friend that sticks closer to you than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24 ESV). Maybe social distancing was just the space God needed to draw near to you.
“And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
Romans 5:5 ESV