By Ife J. Ibitayo
For Part 1, “Love Is Patient”, click here; Part 2, “Love is Kind”, click here; Part 3, “The Love of the LORD”, click here.
Love–Think of holding hands with your significant other while strolling down lamplit boulevards with a majestic symphonic backdrop. But as stirring as this image is, it’s limited. Deep love comes in a variety of packages, including that between friends. In spite of cupids lurking around every corner during this month of February, I think this is a prime opportunity to study an example of brotherly love found in the Bible.
Friendship
King David’s closest friend was the son of his sworn archenemy, King Saul. His name was Jonathan, and he was the heir apparent to his father’s throne. Yet he did everything possible to ensure his best friend would become king.
King Saul himself said about Jonathan, “‘You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don’t I know that you have sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother who bore you? As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established’” (1 Samuel 20:30-31 NIV).
Jonathan did not act against his own best interests because he had a death wish, nor was it because he despised his father. In fact, he was one of his father’s best warriors and died by his side (2 Samuel 1:23). He acted this way because he was a good friend. And he loved David more than he loved himself (1 Samuel 18:1).
“Friendship”
Our culture has morphed friendship to such a degree that this kind of commitment seems strange. “Friends with benefits” is a term used to describe platonic relationships with the “benefit” of sex, but that term accurately describes the kind of “friendships” that abound in society today.
A “friend” is someone who provides access to career advancement or elite cliques. A “friend” is someone who strokes your ego and makes you feel good about yourself. A “friend” is someone who enhances the pool of money, time, and energy you can draw from to accomplish your end goals. And like the dew that flees from the rising sun, their love will vanish at the first sign of heat.
The Difference
With that definition of “friendship” in mind, no wonder so many people devalue it as a stump on the road to marriage and children. But Jesus said, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13 NLT). He spoke of friendship because the deepness of that relationship should demand sacrifice, not avoid it.
Jonathan wept when he and his best friend parted ways (1 Samuel 20:41-42). He risked his life to speak much needed words of encouragement to David when he was struggling to survive (1 Samuel 23:15-17). And they made promises to each other that outlived the grave (2 Samuel 21:7).
Conclusion
True friendship is as beautiful as it is rare. Just as a miner would have a hard time believing coal is made of the same stuff as precious gemstones, so we have a diminished view of friendship because of the kind of “friends” this world so often offers us. But just like diamonds in the rough, even though friendship may be tough to find, it’s still well worth the search.
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”
(Proverbs 17:17 NIV)