Category: Life & Lessons

Taking My Timetable Too Seriously (Taking Myself Too Seriously Again Pt. 2)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I went back to school to start a business. Boom or bust, by the time I walk out of my two-year MBA program, I will add “founder” to my resume. With such a short window to work with, time is of the essence. I am currently looking for a co-founder, and I have no idea how to find them.

During orientation, I met a fellow entrepreneurial student. Over the course of our conversation, I found out that he too had been looking for a co-founder, and he’d already found him a few days ago. He said, “With us only being here two years, every minute counts. And we’ll need every second of it to take advantage of the resources here.” In my head, I paraphrased that as, “I’m already behind!”

Walking Not Running

My instinctual reaction was to find a way to get ahead. I need to find a co-founder, create a business juggernaut, and commence a transition plan for my impending retirement all by next week, or I might never catch up! As ridiculous as this might sound, I think this mindset has become more prevalent than we may realize. Why else would the term “life hack” have so inundated popular discourse? We’re constantly trying to find ways to squeeze more useful time out of our twenty-four hour days.

But God’s pace is slower. When speaking of God’s plan for our lives, the apostle Paul said, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10). And in the book Three Mile An Hour God, Japanese theologian Kosuke Koyama emphasized that Jesus’ pace on earth was a walking pace because love can’t be rushed.

But why is God so freaking slow?

Timing Belongs to the LORD

This question led me to the story of Moses. Everyone knows Moses: nation deliverer, Red Sea splitter, leader, prophet, warrior, poet, and writer. But what most people don’t realize is that Moses completed all of these great acts as an old man. His journey begins when most of ours end: at the age of eighty.

For the first forty years of his life, Moses grew up in Pharaoh’s household. The book of Acts says, “Moses was educated in all the wisdom of the Egyptians and was powerful in speech and action” (Acts 7:22). These two statements “educated in all the wisdom of the Egyptians” and “was powerful in speech and action” are inseparable. Moses’ formative upbringing was inseparable from his legacy.

After this, Moses—like most of us—attempted to start his mission too early. As a middle-aged man of forty, he attempted to liberate his people (Acts 7:23). But the LORD still had much training for him to undergo. So he spent the next forty years of his life as a shepherd in the wilderness. What better way to learn how to lead a stubborn, ignorant, ungrateful people than to lead stubborn, ignorant, ungrateful sheep!

Because the LORD sees the end from the beginning, He knows what steps we need to take along the way. We can’t short circuit this process without short circuiting our destiny.

The Future Belongs to the LORD

Similarly, we don’t know what the future holds. King Solomon once said, “The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all” (Ecclesiastes 9:11). There are so many factors that go into success that we, with our limited perspective, will fail to account for: the economy, the culture, even our own mental readiness and state of well being. But God takes all of these into account. And He makes all things beautiful in their own time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

Conclusion

So I have let go of my timetable; I’ve deleted my calendar; and I’ve tossed my planner into the bin. I will still plan ahead, of course, but I’m trying to learn to clutch my schedule with a looser grip. My vision may not come true according to my plan, but God has always had a better one in store.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”

(Jeremiah 29:11)

Taking Time Too Seriously (Taking Myself Too Seriously Again Pt. 1)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Last week’s summer orientation flew by. Most days were jam-packed with at least eight hours of programming. And when evening rolled around, there were countless places to swing by: a multitude of bars, a jazz concert, and even a chicken and beer festival. But I did not go to any of them. Even this past Saturday, one of the most stressful aspects of my morning was deciding whether or not I’d go with friends to a farmer’s market on Sunday!

No Time

I’ve only been in Los Angeles for a couple weeks. And I have a seemingly endless list of important tasks I still need to finish: registering my car, setting up appointments and phone calls, even sorting out a mistaken parking ticket I received. And as the perennial busy beaver, it’s very hard for me to relax when work remains to be done.

No One

But in the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon makes an invaluable point with this allegory, “There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. ‘For whom am I toiling,’ he asked, ‘and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?’ This too is meaningless—a miserable business! Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).

A truth I will continually have to remind myself during my time here (and throughout the rest of my life) is that relationships are the end for which all hard work should point. There will always be more tasks and more assignments. So if I don’t learn how to socialize now, I might just find that when I finally have the time to, I won’t have anyone to socialize with!

Conclusion

Toward the end of the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon goes on to say, “Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do” (Ecclesiastes 9:7). When we do choose to eat or drink, God approves of our enjoyment. So we should never let the business of life keep us from enjoying life itself.

“So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them under the sun.”

(Ecclesiastes 8:15)

The Presence of Prayer (Prayer Changes Things Pt. 3)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I believe there is a third often overlooked aspect of prayer. Beyond changing things outside of us (Pt. 1) and changing things inside of us (Pt. 2), prayer ushers into the presence of God. It can be easy to reduce God to a divine slot machine. If we toggle enough levers and press enough buttons, our will will be done on earth as we expect it will be in heaven. Or we can relegate Him to a glorified mentor or life coach. But God wants deeper relationship than that: He wants to be our Friend, our Father, and our Husband.

Our Friend

We as humans possess a deep, profound need for friendship. That is why God said to Adam, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). But just like our predecessor, as soon as our horizontal need for friendship is fulfilled, we often neglect our analogous vertical need for friendship (Genesis 3). A true friend is someone with whom you connect for the sake of connection. In other words, the relationship itself is the end you are seeking when you spend time with that other person.

Many evenings I find myself coming to God with a long list of topics I want to run through: the state of our nation, difficulties in my family, looming deadlines at work, and many more. But I often sense that He doesn’t need me to repeat those prayers to Him again–He already knows my concerns before I pray them anyway (Matthew 6:8). Rather, He just wants to sit with me. He wants me to focus on being with Him rather than getting from Him.

Our Father

Secondly, God wants us to relate to Him as our heavenly Father rather than our overbearing boss. I’ve been reading the book of Romans recently, and I’m struck by the distinction between wages and grace. Romans 4:4-5 says, “When people work, their wages are not a gift, but something they have earned. But people are counted as righteous, not because of their work, but because of their faith in God who forgives sinners.” Similarly, an employee is hired based on their potential to add value to a company, and their continued employment is dependent on their performance. But a son is a son because they are a son. On my best days and on my worst, I am still God’s baby boy.

I often find myself tempted to perform when I come to God in prayer. I want to say the right words and quote the right verses and sing the right songs. But God does not care. When I enter His presence, He sets aside His gavel of judgment and spreads wide His royal robes, so I can hop in His lap. And He happily welcomes me when I’m pure and pious or when I’m dirty and broken.

Our Husband

Lastly, God wants to be our Husband. I think this is an oft neglected aspect of our relationship with God, deemed too intimate for many and too uncomfortable for men. But God’s marriage to us is a powerful analogy for His deep and abiding love for us. In Isaiah 54:5, God says, “‘Your Maker is your Husband,’” which intimately reminds us that God not only made us, He also chose us specifically as the objects of His affections. And He will continue to woo us with a forever love (Jeremiah 31:3).

When I enter God’s presence, He delights in me more than any doe-eyed newlywed. When I go on a date with God, all my bad jokes are funny and my quirky remarks are insightful. God desires to spend time with me far more than I with Him because He is such a good Husband!

Conclusion

When I pray, I enter into the presence of my best Friend, my loving Father, and my doting Husband. Through prayer I find my identity as a beloved son and bride. And so I love prayer, and through prayer I embrace how much God loves me.

“One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.”

(Psalm 27:4)

Prayer Changes Us (Prayer Changes Things Pt. 2)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

For how “Prayer Changes Things Outside of Us”, click here.

Prayer moves mountains (Mark 11:23), heals nations (2 Chronicles 7:14), and ends droughts (James 5:17)–both physical and spiritual. God grants a dangerous amount of power to mankind through prayer. But if we reduce prayer to simply a means of changing our external circumstances, we may miss an even more amazing work of prayer: It changes us.

The Work of Prayer

I’ve cried out to God for countless prayer requests, and I’ve viscerally experienced God’s silence and God’s no. I’ve prayed for family members and seen them walk away from the faith. I’ve prayed for friends who’ve died weeks later. At times I’ve seen myself fall into the trap of tying my hope to an outcome rather than a Person. And when things don’t go my way, I’ve been tempted to say, “Prayer doesn’t work.” But prayer always works. Its work might just be in the precious, yet invisible space of our souls.

In the Garden of Gethsemane on the night Jesus was betrayed, He told Peter, “‘Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak’” (Matthew 26:41). Therefore, prayer is essential to aligning our flesh with God’s Spirit. And we cannot resist temptation without it.

E.M.  Bounds—an author, attorney, and clergyman fiercely devoted to prayer—once said, “Prayer makes a godly man, and puts within him the mind of Christ, the mind of humility, of self-surrender, of service, of pity, and of prayer. If we really pray, we will become more like God, or else we will quit praying.” I often find it’s only in that unhurried time away from my digital devices that the Holy Spirit reveals myself to me: my fears, my hopes, and my hidden sins. Only in the still place of God’s presence do I become more like Jesus and less like the man I used to be.

Conclusion

No matter how long and how hard we pray, we’re still promised trouble in this world (John 16:33). Trials and tribulation are our portion in this life if we take up our cross and follow Christ daily. But through prayer, we can endure the hardships of this Christian life well. And we will live to see all the good God has in store for us on the other side (Romans 5:3-5).

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

(Hebrews 4:16)

Prayer Changes Things Outside of Us (Prayer Changes Things Pt. 1)

By Ife J. Ibitayo

During my junior year of college, I went with my church on a retreat. There isn’t much that I recall about that trip, but I do remember committing to spending one hour each day in prayer.

It felt like a foolish choice at the time. Between my academic obligations and my church responsibilities, I was barely treading water. I struggled to find enough time each day to sleep, let alone surrender a whole hour to prayer. Yet somehow God provided the time during that harrowing season of life. Since then, I’ve prayed for many things both great and small, and I’ve seen God move in both cases.

Prayer Changes Lives

A few months after I started praying more, a good friend of mine was attempting to transfer into the geology department at the University of Texas at Austin. He’d already been rejected twice before. And if he didn’t get accepted this time, he was going to transfer universities. So I told him, “Why don’t we pray about it?” And by the end of that week, my friend excitedly told me that he’d been accepted into the geology apartment with a scholarship!

And about a year ago, another friend of mine was on the verge of graduation. But one of the most important people in his life was not planning on being there to see it—his father. Their core values had diverged drastically when Donald Trump was elected president, and their tenuous relationship had become so strained that my friend struggled to even visit his parents. So for a whole year, I prayed for healing in their relationship. And on the eve of my friend’s PH D. defense, his father flew into town and even stayed to help him work on his project for a couple days afterward!

Conclusion

These stories may not be the most exciting. I haven’t yet seen mountains fling themselves into the ocean. But there’s good reason Jesus emphasized asking God for things in prayer so much. He said, “Ask, and you will receive” (Matthew 7:7). “Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours” (Mark 11:24). And “will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones who cry out to Him day and night” (Luke 18:7)?

Jesus came to earth to connect mankind to the Father. And we do so by committing our cares to Him. Maturity in Christ is not asking God for less but entrusting Him with more. And I’m trying to learn how to do that one hour at a time.

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”

(1 Peter 5:7)

Never Fail

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I spent some time today looking through my high school yearbook with my little brother. I couldn’t help but grin as I saw pictures of my high school self. Apparently, a decade later, I still look the same. I don’t know whether that’s a compliment to my youth or an insult to my maturity! But as I flipped through the yearbook’s pages, my smile dimmed when I arrived at the photo of the leaders for our Christian club because there was one person missing from it.

I still remember the day when our treasurer—who I’ll call Barry—knocked on my dorm room. It was late at night, and he had a pile of books in his hands. He told me about how he’d been struggling with his faith, and he wanted to read through some of these resources with me as he attempted to splice together the crumbling remnants of his Christianity. I was club president and pastor at the time, but I was also struggling to balance the load of club activities and classes with the minimum free time I thought I needed for myself. So I blew him off, and within the next couple weeks, we no longer had a treasurer.

I Failed

I was reminded of Peter in the Gospels. When Jesus said all of His disciples would desert Him, Peter excluded himself from that group. When Jesus said Peter would deny Him three times, Peter effectively called Jesus a liar. He promised he’d suffer to the death before he denied his Lord and Savior (Matthew 26:31-35). But within a few short hours, all of Jesus’ disciples deserted Him and Peter denied Him just as He had said.

Yet none of this was a surprise to Jesus because God knows our frailties better than we do. He knows when we’ll snap at our spouse or disappoint our children. He even knows when we’ll fail the people who need us the most in their hour of need.

What I find most comforting about Jesus’ prophecy is that right after He tells the disciples they will desert Him, He says, “‘After I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee (Matthew 26:32).’” In other words, Jesus had already baked their failure into His plan. When His followers fell, He rose. When they stumbled, He went on ahead, both to catch them and to prepare the way.

He Never Does

A few years later, I saw Barry again in college. He had reestablished his faith, and he was doing well academically and spiritually. Even though the shame of my failure still burns within me, I’m grateful that I learned a valuable lesson. I will continue to fall short of the perfect standard of love I strive to live up to; however, my God never will. And He can redeem even my greatest failures for my good and for His glory.

“None of the good promises the LORD had made to the house of Israel failed. Everything was fulfilled.”

(Joshua 21:45)

A Goodbye Birthday

By Ife J. Ibitayo

Late last week I received an early birthday present from my parents. Reading their kind note interrupted my whirling dervish of a life. It was like someone tapped me on the shoulder in the middle of my juggling routine. The ball of quitting my job, the ball of securing my new apartment, the ball of shipping my car, the ball of moving out of my apartment, and many others came crashing to the ground as I remembered: “Oh, yeah, my birthday is next Monday, isn’t it?”

Goodbye Engineering

I’ve been struggling to unravel the complex web of emotions tangled up in my heart. Last Friday, I handed in my badge, laptop, and all the other things I’d accumulated over the last three years working at Aurora Flight Sciences. As I sat in the lobby waiting for my Uber to arrive, I felt like a spinning gear that’d been violently disconnected from the rest of the train. I was still revved up in my mind, but I was accomplishing nothing. That day I realized that I am no longer an engineer, and I may never be one again.

Goodbye Friends

I also shared many, many, many meals with loved ones in the area. Each meal was a bittersweet mix of joy and sorrow. As I sat on my air mattress hours before my friends and I went out to celebrate one last time, I wondered how quickly they will move on without me. Will I be able to do the same? Will I carry them in my heart, or will our love and laughs be covered by the sands of time? I carried this emotional baggage with me as I flew home to celebrate the 4th of July with my family.

Conclusion

A rough paraphrase of Matthew 11:28 (based on the Greek) is, “Come to me all you who are worn out and loaded down, and I will give you a much-needed break.” Whenever I find myself wallowing in my thoughts—critical of the past and pensive about the future, I know I need a break. I need to go to the movies, stop counting calories, and hit the snooze button a couple extra times. I need to put down my unfinished pile of work and pick up my unfinished pile of video games. I need to stop running and start resting. That’s why Jesus says I must take “His yoke upon me and learn from Him” (Matthew 11:29). I can’t take up His yoke unless I let go of my own.

So last week I finally gave myself permission to rev down, unwind, and relax. I played the games, watched the shows, and shopped the stores. As is true for all of us, life goes on, new challenges await, and the journey isn’t over. So this birthday, I don’t just whisper a tearful goodbye but also a hopeful, hesitant hello.

“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plan and a time to uproot.”

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-2)

Protests and Celebration

By Ife J. Ibitayo

The title of an NBC article well-captures the polarizing nature of the Supreme Court’s landmark ruling last week: “Protests and celebrations as Supreme Court Overturns Roe v. Wade”. For many, this ruling marks the culmination of decades of faith, prayer, and activism. And the hope that bubbles up from this decision serves as an encouraging signpost for the future. But for others, this marks the beginning of the end. A generation of progress has come to a grinding halt, and other women’s rights may be on the chopping block in the years–or even months–to come.

Abortion is a deeply personal issue for most of us. Many who are pro-life ask: “Who’s going to speak up for the unborn? Who, after having carried a beloved being to term, can stand aside while millions of other precious children are slaughtered wholesale?” Yet on the other side of the fence, many who are pro-choice ask: “Why do I not get to choose what I do with my body and my life? Why must I sacrifice everything for something to which I owe nothing?” Because of how intimate this issue is, I struggle to dialogue with others who disagree with me on this topic.

Celebration

I believe that life is sacred from conception. This isn’t just a Biblical principal I accept, it’s a truth that resonates viscerally in my bones. I’ve served with children at summer camps and YMCA ever since I was a teenager. I donate to America World Adoption Agency every month because I deeply desire for children to be raised by loving parents. I also intend to adopt someday myself.

The more time I spend with children, the more I realize that they can touch my heart at younger and younger ages. I’ve had stimulating conversations with my kindergarten age nieces and nephews. I played games with my little brother when he was still a toddler. I still remember the intimate stories my mother told me of her unique pregnancy experiences carrying my siblings and I to term. And so I rejoice at the overturning of Roe v. Wade.

Protest

Yet I’m also beginning to understand how often the rights of women have been nullified in the name of “the greater good.” It would be easy to site stats and statistics; however, there is one historical fact that rocks me: Women were only granted the right to vote in the 1920s. There are nearly 100,000 Americans alive today who were born during a time when half of all US citizens were disenfranchised. And this disenfranchisement continues today. A plethora of systemic issues prevent women from speaking up and demonizes them when they do. Add on top of that the loss of the right to choose whom they birth with their bodies and when they start their families, and I can see why their newfound situation hurts grievously.

Conclusion

Many reading this article may have skimmed over half of it. Or they may have read it all intently with a “Yes, but” on the tip of their tongues. But the point of this piece is not to ignite another argument. We already have enough of those blasting on social media and the nightly news. I’m trying my best to understand, to let others know I hear them and I’m listening, even if I don’t understand them as well as I wish I could. Because we must build more bridges to one another, or we risk burning the whole house down.

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

(James 1:19)

Go Back the Way You Came

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I’ve been receiving a lot of critical feedback recently, both solicited and unsolicited. Concerning my forthcoming book, critics have said: “I think about half of what you have so far is deadweight.” And “Your characters sound like uneducated savages.” Concerning my startup idea, I’ve heard: “You don’t have the necessary industry experience.” “You don’t have the right leadership experience.” And even, “What is your role again?”

I was surprised at how deeply these verbal shards cut even when they were spewed with the best of intentions. I began to ask myself: Why is discouragement such a powerful tool to keep us from our destiny? And why is encouragement so crucial to achieving it?

My contemplation led me to the story of Elijah in the Bible, the greatest prophet of the Old Testament. This man’s prayers caused nationwide droughts (James 5:17). He called down fire from heaven on soldiers (2 Kings 1) and sacrifices alike 1 Kings 18). Elijah was the Biblical equivalent of Aang the Last Airbender. He was set apart in his generation, imbued with enviable divine power, and achieved glorious exploits.Yet even Elijah grew discouraged.

When Jezebel, the evil queen of Israel, threatened his life, Elijah fled into the wilderness. While there, Elijah said two things that reveal the dangers of discouragement.

Going Out Into the Wilderness

First, he said, “‘I’ve had enough, LORD. Take my life, for I am no better than my fathers’” (1 Kings 19:4). When we’re discouraged, we will be tempted to compare our journey with those who’ve come before us. And prophets did not have a good track record in Israel. Nearly across the board, they were persecuted, betrayed, and murdered (Acts 7:52). So what made Elijah special?

Likewise, if we ever want to achieve anything meaningful in our lives, the stats will never be in our favor. For example, only 1 in 4 authors will find a publisher for their completed manuscript. And of these lucky few, only 1 in 100 will turn a profit. Similarly, 90% of all startups fail. Comparison to others can provide a useful dose of reality, but it can also be the quickest way to kill our ambitions before they leave the ground.

Secondly, Elijah said, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected Your covenant, torn down your altars, and put Your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too” (1 Kings 19:14). When we’re discouraged, we tend to magnify our problems and minimize our progress. In so doing, we transform challenging circumstances into impossible ones.

Going Back the Way You Came

But God spoke the encouraging words this beaten down man desperately needed to hear. First, God said, “Go back the way you came,”  then He commissioned him to complete his mission (1 Kings 19:15). We will all get derailed in this life. We’ll make a string of fatal errors like Winston Churchill, or we’ll get hit by a string of unlucky breaks like Klay Thompson. But we need someone to remind us why we were taking the journey in the first place. We need someone to tell us, “Go back the way you came” if we want to end the war or win the championship.

Secondly, God told Elijah, “‘I have reserved seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him’” (1 Kings 19:18). When the voices of discouragement tell us that we will fail like everyone else did, we must remind ourselves that there are still those who’ve succeeded. And we could very well become one of them.

A number of stories written by people just like us do breakthrough. They win Pulitzer’s and Nobel Prizes. They change culture and inspire young children to dream of a brighter future. And they even inspire spinoffs, fan fiction, and subreddits.

Conclusion

When discouragement comes, we have only two options. We can stay in the wilderness and lament the loss of the naïve dream we once cherished. Or we can “go back the way we came” and keep on fighting.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

(Galatians 6:9)

A Black Son’s Juneteenth

By Ife J. Ibitayo

I’ve been black ever since I was born. This may be obvious to you, but it wasn’t to me. I was born in the suburbs of deeply-black Detroit. Then I moved to racially diverse San Jose. Then I wrapped up my childhood in Mission, Texas, which is 80% Hispanic. I never experienced brazen racism or saw Confederate flag-waving white supremacists. Microaggressions and “can I touch your hair?” were the extent of the indignities I lived through.

So I never understood my Dad’s rules: If you wear a hoodie, the hood must be down. If you’re wearing a fitted, it must face forward. Never pocket anything in the grocery store even if you intend to pay for it. And always keep your receipts.  No Kobe earrings for my older brother. No Iverson cornrows for me. And in the midst of these perplexing rules, I remained relatively cocooned from the complex web of racial interactions that tangled around me.

Divided

But then Michael Brown—a teenager less than a year older than me—was shot in Ferguson, Missouri. And less than two years later, Donald Trump was elected president of the United States. With these jarring cognitive blows, I finally began to realize the United States of America was not as united as I once believed. And I began to understand my dad’s deep-seated anguish and frustration with our country.

Black people in the United States have always lived divided lives, torn between the high ideals America stands for and the disappointing reality our nation has fallen into. America decried racism in Nazi Germany while embracing it on our own soil. America lauded Gandhi overseas but assassinated King back home. America opposed apartheid as early as the 1940s yet supported Jim Crow until the 1960s.

United

I still remember sitting with my dad a few years back, overcome by my newfound jadedness. I shared my grievances with him and expected him to say, “Son, welcome to the table.” But rather, he told me he was still proud to be an American. The United States is still the nation my father dreamed of coming to from his youth. The United States is still the nation where my father proved that blood, sweat, tears and an unremitting hunger for success can open nearly every door and shatter countless glass ceilings. And this hope, this pride is what he’s passed onto me.

So as a Juneteenth Father’s Day approaches, I celebrate all the black fathers who refused to give into cynicism and despair. I celebrate all the black fathers who stuck around, gritted their teeth, and refused to give up or give in. I celebrate all of the black fathers who poured themselves out for their nations, their companies, and their families even when no one gave them an ounce of appreciation. And most of all, I celebrate my own father. I love you, Dad.