By Ife J. Ibitayo
We all tend to neglect the benefits of the season of life we’re in. When I was completing my bachelor’s degree, the end of the rainbow was the beginning of my master’s degree. Then it became the beginning of my working career. Now it’s retirement. Similarly, most of us don’t appreciate the benefits of the relational season of life God has placed us in. Every single single person I know is pining after their wedding day. All married people are waiting for children. Then as soon as these little, nutty creatures are born, they want to be empty nesters and grandparents.
An intriguing article I read called “Is Anticipation Even Better Than the Real Thing?” said, “The pleasure derived from anticipating something enjoyable is often equal to or greater than the pleasure derived from the event itself. This is because we’re inventing and idealizing the future.”
When we anticipate the future, we think our future wife will be the implacable Carol Brady, the perceptive Claire Huxtable, and the vivacious Vivian Banks all rolled into one. But when she loses her temper or burns the cookies (again) or zonks out at 9 o’ clock for the tenth day in a row, we suddenly realize our earth angel is all too human. Conversely, we minimize the benefits of our current season and magnify its drawbacks.
Time
One of the most important benefits of singleness is time, which meaningful relationships tend to gobble up. It takes time to call my friends each week and drive to my cousin’s each month and fly home to my family each year. I perpetually find myself in need of more time, not less. The extra free time I have allows me to take long prayer walks in my neighborhood. It has encouraged me to open my home to young adults on Thursday nights and serve in a variety of capacities at my church. And it has given me a chance to plug away at my many writing projects: including this blog you’re reading right now.
Flexibility
Secondly, singleness grants me flexibility that married people don’t have. I once called up a friend of mine who’d checked into an alcohol recovery program in southern Virginia. I offered to drive down to see him that same night, and though he turned me down, I realized later that these are the kinds of offers only singles can make (in good conscience).
Conclusion
Someone once said, “singleness is the gift everyone’s looking to regift.” I admit, I wrestle with this idea daily. Almost by the hour I find myself silently praying for God to send me my special someone. But I’ve slowly come to appreciate the unique privileges of singleness. We regret the opportunities that we let pass us by. So I’m trying to wring out every drop of this blessed season of my life until the next one comes.
“Godliness with contentment is great gain.”
(1 Timothy 6:6)